Drinking Buddies
by Lethal-LadyD
Summary: AU: Emma, Liam, and Killian have grown up together as broken friends. Now, Liam and Emma are growing closer together and Killian finds himself pushing them away until one drunken night with Emma makes him wonder if this all turned out wrong.
1. Drunken Mornings

Killian awoke to his alarm at 8 as usual, lifting himself off his bed. His head pounded from last night's activities. He had gone way over his usual limit of rum after his goof friend Emma had challenged him to a little competition. She had pulled out some drinking standards even he didn't understand, after 10 shots she was still standing, giving him a smug little smile that made his heart burn. He shook his head, laughing a little to himself. He was continually amazed by this girl.

He slipped on a pair of sweatpants, leaving his chest bare and sweaty. He looked at himself in the mirror, his hair shaken the way it usually is after a good night out with a girl. But Emma wasn't that type of girl, no matter how much he had wanted her; she had fallen for his older brother instead.

_So why does my hair look like this, _He thought, giving himself a quick look over and finding a bruise on his neck. _Well I don't recall getting that… _He thought.

A sigh slipped out from his bed, and Killian glanced over his shoulder in the mirror, seeing a naked body in his bed, a mess of blonde curls across his pillow. "Oh no," He heard himself say moving closer to push the curls out of her hair so he could properly see her face. He revealed those defined cheekbones, those rosy lips, that familiar sweetness to her face. He backed up, pushing his hair back to stare at Emma Swan, lying naked in his bed. _Holy Fuck, _He thought.

"Fuck!" He snapped through clenched teeth, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to happen at all.

He stared down at her, her face lying peacefully on his pillow, her arms lazily over her breasts. His eyes trailed down her body. He admired her skin so pale and smooth across her stomach that moved easily with her breathing. He hated to wake her, hated to move her out of his bed. He felt himself getting aroused just looking at her, his mouth going dry. He needed to control himself.

Rubbing his eyes with his hands, he turned to the window, focusing on anything but the fact that Emma Swan was in his bed right now. She was still there when he had turned back.

"Emma," He whispered, giving her a little nudge with his arm.

"No, Liam give me 5 more minutes," Emma whined, still half asleep.

"Well I'm not bloody Liam, am I?" Killian shot back through clenched teeth.

"Killian? What? Go away," Emma barked through a dry throat.

"Well, love, you're in my bed, so I think you should be the one to make the first move here."

Emma sat up with a start, staring into Killian's face who was trying with a remarkable amount of strength not to look down past her face again.

"Did you just say…" Emma stared dumbstruck around the room, putting the pieces together of last night.

"WHAT THE FUCK KILLIAN!" She screamed, jumping out of the bed just to realize she was naked and jumping back into the bed to cover herself up. "Give me my clothes," She asked, focusing on covering up her legs.

"A please would be nice," Killian said sarcastically, moving across the floor picking up a tight black leather dress that made him drool over her every time she wore it, "Or a thank you." He raised his eyebrows at her and she pretended to vomit.

"I don't think that will be necessary, TODAY," Emma grabbed her clothes from him.

"You must have enjoyed it," He smirked at her.

"Clearly not, since I can't even remember it," She murmured. Her mind was wandering through yesterday's activites but she couldn't for the life of her remember how she got here.

_Great, neither of us remembers, _He thought, biting his lip in frustration.

"What the hell is wrong with me," She whispered, pushing her hair back from her face and taking the clothes, Killian had given back to her.

"I don't know Swan, but you should probably start controlling yourself around me." He looked up just in time to dodge his phone that was being forcefully thrown at his face. "I'm just kidding!" He yelled, watching her strap her bra on.

"Um hey! Can you like… I don't know… not look!" She yelled, pointing to the wall.

"I mean it's not like you haven't shown me the goods," Killian joked but Emma wasn't laughing and he realized he was going to lose this battle.

"Fine, I'll go make us some coffee? Is that okay? Coffee? Or would you like to yell at me about that to?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Killian… What the hell happened last night? You're getting on my last nerve."

He scratched his hand behind his ear, looking away from her, afraid to tell her that even he didn't know what happened. She seemed to understand from his silence. "So you don't know either," She asked and watched Killian nod slowly, "Well there goes my chances with Liam..," Emma started but Killian cut her off.

"We don't know that anything happened. You just spent the night in my bed… per usual." Emma threw a pillow at him.

"Ow! Alright we'll leave that part out," Killian joked, hoping Emma would calm down.

Guilt filled him as he looked at her. She had nothing but regret in her eyes. "I'm sorry love," He whispered, "I know how much you care about… him."

Emma shook her head. "Yeah… your brother, you mean?" She shot back, immediately regretting it as she saw his face twist. "…Sorry, I didn't mean to.." Emma started without really realizing what she would say next, _fuck you? Ruin everything? Make you feel bad about it? _Emma stared slowly out the window, avoiding Killian's eyes. She felt so vulnerable and she hated it. "Did you say something about coffee?" She asked, quickly changing the subject. He nodded, giving her a little crooked smile and she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face and moving into the kitchen with her friend and boyfriend's brother. "So fucked," She whispered to herself, closing the door to his bedroom and not looking back.

/

Emma sprawled across his counter top. She felt comfortable here, like she belonged here, but she knew it was only because they had been friends for so long. She had lived in foster homes her whole life. She had meet Killian after his parents died when he was 16. She helped him get through it for those few months before Liam turned 18 and could gain custody of him again. The three of them had been inseparable ever since. Emma smiled back at the memory although that was the only happy thing about that time, Liam and Killian.

She had never opened up to them, though, and they never opened up to her, it was just understood that what the other person felt was too strong to be put into words, or if the tears finally came, maybe she was afraid they would never stop.

Although, Killian had pushed her to talk at the beginning, she soon realized that she was the most damaged, the most far gone, and she pushed them away until they eventually stopped asking and just started moving forward.

In the past 5 years, Emma watched Killian transform from the little lost boy he was to the man she saw before her today; so strong with a broken smile and eyes that could pierce your soul. He had became somewhat of the loner of the three of them, although she saw the way his face lit up when Liam was around or when he talked about sailing, his one thing that was all his own.

Emma looked around the room, laughing at all the novelty sailing decorations he had sprawled across his apartment, all of which was from her because she couldn't afford real gifts for him.

After foster care he had turned to somewhat of a ladies man, going out drinking and bringing back girl after girl. He was gorgeous, with a chiseled jawline, bright blue eyes, dark almost-black hair, and stubble that just looked so right on that gorgeous face. He knew it, too, although why he used it to get so many cheesy, obnoxious girls back to his room was beyond Emma.

They never crossed that line with each other. She would just tease him, and he would pretend to flirt back, until Liam started looking at her a little differently, and suddenly Killian's jokes had taken a step back. She wondered if their whole friendship had.

"Oy, get off my table," Killlian snapped at her, pointing her to a stool and bringing her back to present time. She groaned, pushing herself slowly off the table so her hips hung off and her shirt rode up, revealing her stomach. Killian clenched his teeth. "Can you try and keep your clothes on for the rest of this little visit?"

Emma gave him a devilish grin, pushing her shirt up a little bit more. Killian raised his eyebrows at her. "Oh my god it's me," Emma realized, pushing herself up and putting her head in her hands, "I provoked this!"

He rolled his eyes, "That you do," He mumbled.

"What was that?" She asked, raising her eyes quizzically.

"Hm? What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Killian!"

"What?!"

"Nevermind!" She finally huffed. Killian gave her a satisfied smirk.

"So what happens now?" She asked, suddenly turning serious. Killian scratched the back of his head subconsciously, avoiding her gaze.

"Well, we really don't know what happened… And there's no point in ruining your lovely time with my brother," He said, and Emma thought she sensed some bitterness behind his tone.

"Thanks," She whispered and watched him nod in return, still avoiding her gaze. Killian swayed over to her, gracefully placing a cup of coffee by her side and she smiled at him.

"All is forgiven, love," He whispered, lingering a little longer then necessary staring into her eyes. She nodded, turning her gaze away as a little bit of a blush appeared on her cheeks. _Something is seriously wrong with me, _she thought. Although she already knew that damaged people did nothing but hurt others, as she had her whole life. This was just another thing to add to her list of deeds she wanted to forget.

But the way he smiled at her made her feel safe, and she slid into the kitchen to help him make breakfast. _That was a perfectly normal thing to do, right? _She told herself, lingering on his amused face that she was even still around.

"I never thought you were the 'stay for breakfast' type, Swan," He joked.

"I'm not," She remarked, thinking back to various one night stands where she refused to even stay the night, "But neither are you as I recall."

He gave her a little wink, "Only for you mate," and she rolled her eyes at his joke, unaware of the seriousness behind his words.


	2. Bad Movie Night

Killian watched Emma move about the kitchen. She knew where everything was, which pans worked best, and best of all what Killian's favorite mug was. She found it easily and poured coffee into it for him since he had apparently forgotten to get his own cup, his mind elsewhere. He chuckled at the mug that read "World's Greatest Captain" on it. It had been another novelty gift given to him by Emma when he inherited an old sailing boat that his father had apparently owned in the 90's and never told anyone about.

He laughed at the memory. They had just turned 18 and everyone was bringing him booze and weed but Emma brought him a fucking mug that she admitted she had stolen. He looked around at the other sea life decorations hanging around his apartment and wondered if she had stolen anything else. He decided that she'd probably stolen all of it and was content with that idea.

"Earth to dumbass," Emma called, hitting him with her elbow and nodding at the pancakes that needed flipping, her hands filled with coffee and syrup that she carried to the table. He stared at her as she walked to the table. She seemed to have claimed his shirt as her own, her dress folded over like a skirt around her hips. Killian wanted to laugh but it didn't even look stupid, it looked sexy as hell on her and he hated himself for it. For wanting to rip the shirt off her body when she laid on the table. He imagined syrup pouring down her chest. "Oh shit," He whispered, turning away from her.

"Ugh, why am starving this morning?" She asked, immediately covering her face as Killian gave her the biggest grin that morning, howling with laughter.

"Why do you think?!" He laughed, he just hadn't expected her to say something so damn stupid.

"Alright shut it!" She yelled, "This isn't funny!" but he couldn't stop laughing and soon she was laughing with him, both of them on the floor gasping for air.

"Oh god, we have an inside joke about that time we did it behind your brother's back," Emma realized, covering her face again and groaning.

"Why does it matter are you guys really together?" Killian asked, not quite sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I don't know actually, we just click well… I wanted to be," Emma responded, looking confusingly at Killian.

"Yeah I don't have that "clicking well thing" with people I guess," He remarked, pushing himself off the floor and heading to his room. She felt like she had hit a nerve, she felt like she was always hitting nerves with him these days, but she knew better then to question him on it.

"Are you going to put a shirt on?" She asked, raising her head off the floor and giving him a big smile.

"And take away your view?" Killian smirked back at her, "I've worked too hard for these to just be hidden in some shirt, Swan." He licked his lips, showing off his toned muscles as he walked backwards, still heading to his room.

"Where are you going?" She asked, annoyed that his usual flirtatious remarks had returned.

"To get my phone... Why? Do you want to join me in here again?" He laughed. _Shit. He had 5 missed calls from work. _

"Hold your horny urges, Emma, I might have to head to work early today," He said, completely serious and she just stared at him.

"Really." She said, her voice dripping with annoyance and sarcasm.

"Yes, love, afraid duty calls," He winked at her. Heading back into his room he pulled out his pants from yesterday. _Looked nice enough, _he thought, pulling them on and buttoning up his shirt slowly, staring at Emma out the door the whole time. His black pirates shirt hung loosely off her body so he could see more then was necessary. She was looking at his chest as he buttoned it, not even noticing him raising his eyebrows at her. He felt his heart beat fast.

"Alright, I need to go… but stay, please. Eat the pancakes, drip syrup over her chest if you must… I'll see ya later," Killian winked, moving out the front door before she threw something at him again.

/

He moved methodically down the steps, slipped his hands into his pockets as he stepped out into the cold on the way to the docks, where the fishing boats had come back early, having had a good day at sea, he assumed. They needed him to help move the fish to the coolers to be transported to the markets.

It involved a lot of heavy lifting and moving but he didn't really mind if it meant getting him back out near the ocean and the sea breeze. His hand felt cramped in his pocket as he walked and he realized there was a piece of fabric hanging out of it. He pulled it out, realizing slowly that they were red lacey undies. _Emma, _He realized, pushing them back into his pocket and trying to hold back his smile as he made his way down the pier. This was not right, and he knew it, but it felt so good. He clutched the lace in his fingers. _No way she's getting these back, _He thought, laughing to himself.

/

Emma lay on Killian's bed. She didn't even remember moving from the floor to his room but she needed to know what happened and she hoped this would jog her memory. His bed smelled like him and she breathed it in. It calmed her but she didn't remember. She had had a crush on Killian since they first met until less then a year ago when she had had enough of his nonsense and realized that Liam was the only responsible one of any of them.

She shook her head. She was a flirt back with him and she knew it but that had always just been their relationship. She taunted him, he's lick his lips, she'd tell him he couldn't handle it, and he'd give some witty remark about how she wishes she could have him like that. She rolled her eyes at herself just thinking about it. She didn't do that now though, not when she had someone who actually cared about her and didn't just want to get in her pants, or whatever it is Killian got from her. She had no idea.

Her phone buzzed, it was Liam. "Emma?" He asked through the phone.

"Hey.." Emma said, not sure how to respond.

"Are you busy right now?"

Emma looked around Killian's room, she felt like punching herself in the face.

"No I'm free, just let me get changed… yeah lunch sounds good," Emma responded robotically through the phone, not really paying attention to her conversation as she realized that she was wearing Killian's t-shirt and her dress as a skirt… _Why did I do that, _She laughed to herself realizing Killian hadn't even mentioned what she was wearing, probably hoping she would keep the t-shirt just so he could rub it in her face.

She laughed, ripping off the shirt and pulling her dress up to prepare for her horrible walk of shame. She went to through the shirt on the floor but stopped herself, deciding to keep it. _Not for him, but maybe it would help jog her memory, _She reasoned, slipping the black pirates tee into her bag and slipping her jacket on, checking to make sure she wouldn't have to come back here again anytime soon and made for the door.

Thinking better of it, she turned around, stacked the rest of the pancakes into a little tub and left a little sticky note on the top that read "Guess I wasn't that hungry after all." Laughing to herself, she made her way out the door and down the street to her apartment.

_/_

Liam waited at Emma's favorite coffee shop, sipping his hot cocoa and looking lazily out the window for a blonde head full of curls. She was late. He wanted to call her but he knew it'd be pointless. Emma would just make fun of him for caring so much, which Killian would just laugh at, but he just wanted to be sure she was safe. _Guess it's the parent in me, _he thought as a girl wandered through the doors, catching his eye with her reddening cheeks and hazel eyes. "Emma," he smiled.

She ran over to him and he swept her off her feet into a big hug, holding her tightly to his chest. She was never one to show affection but with Liam things had been easy. Things just clicked, they understood each other and he was glad to have her.

It had never been anything more then a platonic relationship until a couple months ago, when he finally opened his heart to her and she told him she would give him what she could. He hadn't expected anymore from her, he hadn't even expected this, seeing as how Killian had been telling him since he was 16 that this was the girl he was going to marry, and then one day decided against it. Even Liam didn't know why he had stopped. He had a feeling that it had to do with himself and Emma getting closer and a pang of guilt hit his heart.

"Have you seen Killian today?" He asked suddenly, his mind wandering elsewhere. Emma froze.

"What? Why would I have seen him today?" She was taking his question a little too personally.

"Um... I have no idea, because you see him every Friday," He said, a little annoyance in his tone. She gave him a weird face.

"I ordered you a hot chocolate," He said casually, trying to avoid over thinking their relationship. He looked around, picking up a sailing catalog that was lying on the table.

Emma raised here eyebrows at him.

"…With cinnamon," He finished, rolling his eyes. She gave him a satisfied smile.

"Oh look at that… Oh that is so cheesy," Emma laughed pointing at a giant stuffed seagull from the catalog, surrounded by fake sandwiches. "Oh I've found Killian's next birthday gift," She laughed, something disturbed behind the laughter. She gave a little cough to cover it up, looking out the window.

"Anyways, enough about Killian," She remarked.

"Uh… yes, let's stop with my brother," Liam laughed looked at her questioningly, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. She gave him a quick look and then looked away, avoiding his eyes; a trick of hers that he had caught on to long ago. She always knew when people were lying to her, she called it her superpower, and in return Liam always knew when she was lying to him.

"What's wrong," Liam asked. Her smile faded. _He always fucking knew. _He continued to stare at her, "Emma, talk to me." She looked down at her feet, anywhere but Liam's face until she saw her drink sitting on the counter waiting to be picked up. _Oh thank god, _she thought.

"I'm going to get my drink and I just remembered I have to go in to work today I'm sorry," She spurted out, moving to the counter.

"Emma for god's sake!" He yelled. She gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, love," She whispered on her way to put her drink down.

"Who are you, Killian?" He joked. Emma tensed up. _What was up with her today?_

"Alright what's up with you and Killian? Did you two get in a fight or something?" Liam asked, touching her shoulder. She pulled away from him, something she hadn't done in years and Liam couldn't help but be somewhat shocked by her reaction. He lowered his arm.

"Um, yeah we aren't on good terms right now, I don't think… Actually, surprising we might be… But, I don't really know," Emma murmured so Liam could barely make out what she was saying. Her brows were furrowed and she seemed to roll her eyes at a memory Liam didn't share with her.

"Well, this is obviously not my place…" He said quietly, picking up his bag. This hadn't gone as he had planned, in fact it hadn't even happened at all. Something was wrong and she was hiding it from him. He leaned in giving Emma a kiss on the cheek.

"If it's me… tell me and I'll back off… I know you don't trust people easily even me, and I have the same issues. I'm here for you. I'm not going to hurt you Emma," Liam kissed her forehead this time; giving her a smile and getting a half smile back from her. _Well it's better then nothing, _He thought.

Moving his way out of the coffee shop, he made his way down to the office, where he wasn't expected for another 2 hours. Liam looked back at the coffee shop making a mental note to ask Killian what had changed. Her eyes were gleaming a little differently today and Liam felt something strange about it. _That girl drives me mad, _Liam laughed to himself, pushing his blonde hair out of his face, that same crooked smile crossing his lips.

/

Emma slammed her head against her bedroom wall. She knew Liam wouldn't hurt her but she knew she would hurt him. She always screwed yourself over. She didn't even have work today yet she had lied to Liam about it to get out of a date. She swallowed, slamming her head against the wall again and letting out a groan. _Why do I always have to fuck things up, _She thought back to when her and Liam had first started trying things out, how cautious she was, and how she had pushed him back this morning, feeling just as cautious as when they first met.

His eyes had seemed so sad, so knowing. She knew he'd figure her out, he always did. It was one of those things that made him one of her best friends. Killian on the other hand, never made her think this much, and she rolled her eyes at the thought of him. She had stared while he buttoned up his shirt this morning, eyed his body with what? Lust? She didn't even know. They had crossed that line and she needed to push it back.

Laying her head down on her pillows, she let her eyes close, hoping she could forget her worries in her pillows. She thought her eyes had just shut when dhe heard someone walk in. Emma peered her eyes open to see Killian sitting at the bottom of her bed. "Oh god, what do you want?" She heard herself say, not even questioning how he got in.

He didn't talk to her, just stared at her with bright blue eyes that made her go weak at the knees. Slowly, he unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing, revealing his chest hair and she felt herself swallow. She should stop him, She should make him leave, but she didn't. _What was she doing._

Slowly he moved up the bed, putting a hand on either side of her so he was staring down at her, a crooked smile appearing on that wicked face of his. "Killian.." She started but he put a finger to her lips. He lowered his lips to hers, slow at first to see how she responded. She felt herself move her hands to his chest and he pushed himself closer, realizing that she wanted it.

His shirt had long hit the floor and she looked down, realizing he was only in his boxers.

"Fuck, Killian," She moaned as he pushed his crotch between her legs.

"Say it," He whispered. She looked at him confused, seeing something pleading in his eyes.

"Say you choose me," He whispered back, moving his lips down her neck. Emma just nodded and he bit her hearing a little gasp leave her mouth.

"Say it," He growled.

"Yes, yes I choose you I've always chosen you," Emma panted, realizing her shirt had already been tossed to the floor and he had moved his way down to her pants, his lips between her legs. She gasped again, watching him tug off her jeans. He gave her a wicked smile as he stared down at her naked body, and she knew she was returning the same face. She wanted this. She knew it.

He pulled her legs up so they rested around his hips. He was hard and waiting and she felt herself pant in anticipation.

_What was wrong with her, why wasn't she stopping this?_

"Are you ready, love?" He growled, nipping at her breasts.

"Yes," She breathed back, feeling herself needing him, wanting him, her heart beating fast. _Yes, yes, _She thought to herself, wanting him closer, wanting him inside her.

Those eyes meeting hers, his lips on her lips, she felt him push inside her a moan escaping her lips.

_Knock knock._

_/_

Emma woke with a jolt, alone in her apartment. Her clothes were fully on, her insides reeling and her heart beating like a drum in her ears. _What just happened, _She thought, realizing it had all just been a dream. She groaned to herself. Pushing her hair back she laid her head back down on the bed. She wasn't ready to wake up yet.

_Knock knock._

"Why are their people at my door, it's like 7 in the morning," She whined to herself, moving with her eyes half closed to the door.

"What do you want?" She spat, opening the door a crack to see who it was.

"Nice to see you, too, love," Killian smiled down at her, a flower in his hands.

"Killian? What are you doing here? It's like 7 am," She sounded annoyed and she's glad that's how she was coming off. Clearly not giving any indication as to what she had just been dreaming about.

"Well one it's nighttime, love, but good try. Two, it's bad movie night… We've been doing this for years, and three, just because you want me now, doesn't mean I'm not going to watch a horrible movie with you," He winked at her, pushing her door open and making himself at home on the couch.

She looked out the window, not realizing she had slept most of the day away and she felt herself blush at the memory of her dream. _Shit, she should have set an alarm, _She thought but she didn't regret a second of it.

"Did you bring me a flower?" She raised her eyebrows. He turned a little pink, tossing it nonchalantly on the table as if he'd just realized he was holding it.

"I, uh, couldn't exactly get a bad movie tonight," He said, scratching the back of his head and looking awkwardly around the room, "You know, Milah called and… duty calls," He tried to give her a smug smile, her face seeming to drain of color. "I mean, you don't care right?" Killian asked, avoiding her gaze and turning back to the TV.

"What? That you're a perv? Nah," She laughed, a lump stuck in her throat that she was trying to ignore, "But that you forgot the movie and thought a flower would make up for it?... That's a crime against bad movie night. That's bad form," Her eyes narrowed at him and he looked at her amused.

"Guess we'll have to think of something else to do," He was smooth, so damn smooth, and Emma's could feel her face turning beet red under his gaze.

"I'm sure I have one of your old homemade band videos somewhere we could watch, that would definitely top in bad movies," She snickered, looking around for the tape.

"I'm sure you watch it all the time, Swan. You wish you could be as cool as me," He joked back. Watching her move around the apartment, occasionally giving him a look of disapproval whenever he opened his mouth, but he knew she was smiling under it. He realized even his cheeks rather hurt from smiling at her.

He had lied about going to Milah's. He didn't even know why he had lied about it, Milah hardly ever called him anymore, just when she wanted a good fuck and Killian had kind of lost interest in it lately, not bothering to call her back. He avoided Emma's gaze, knowing she'd see right through his lie if he looked at her.

Emma moved over to the table and picked up the flower to put it in a glass that she filled with water. She hadn't thought twice about it, it was a gift, and she was not going to be rude. Killian looked at her with those eyes, those same damn eyes that had stared at her in her dream and she felt her stomach twist.

_It's just bad movie night, _She thought, moving back over to the couch and sitting on the farthest side from Killian, pushing play on probably her favorite video ever. He laughed as soon as a 17 year old Killian pushed himself on screen with a bass guitar and three older guys Killian remembered from high school.

"Oh man, you were just soo sexy," Emma laughed, covering her eyes as he moved across the screen.

"You know it babe," He laughed, wanting to cover his own eyes at the embarrassment on the screen. He looked over at her and signaled for her to move closer. She rolled her eyes but moved closer pushing her body into his. Killian pulled his arm around her, finding it resting easily around her shoulders. _Just friends, _He thought, _I can do this. _


	3. David's Party

Liam waited patiently, dressed nicely in a button up shirt and a pair of dress pants, sitting on Emma's couch as she ran around trying to get dressed. He had given her almost a week notice that they were going out for David's birthday and yet here she was scrambling at the last minute. He kept hearing her muffle "sorry" while trying to find her heels, finish putting her make-up on, and fix her hair all while wearing a gold beaded dress that hung a little higher then mid half and Liam's lips twitched in annoyance.

"What, What's wrong," She asked, stopping mid run to fix her curls.

"Must you show your body off?" He tried to joke but he knew it came out as a bit bitter. She looked beautiful in anything but when it came to going out, he couldn't keep any man's eye off her.

"Stop being so overprotective," She laughed, pushing her dress up even more so it was barely covering her thighs. Liam glared at her. "Ughh you're no fun," She laughed, pulling it back down. "Killian would.." She stopped, turning around fast and walking into the bathroom.

Liam shot up. "Excuse me? Killian would what?" He was over protective, and with good reason.

"Nothing, he would have found it funny," She said defensively, giving him a back off kind of look.

"Or he is pretending to find it funny so that he can get a look at the rest of you!" Liam groaned, "He's a big flirt and me and you both know he doesn't give a shit about anything other then a girl's body."

Emma looked rather hurt by his comment. "Oh so me and Killian's friendship is purely for my body, huh?" Liam turned around to apologize but he saw a little smirk on her face. She was fucking with him.

"You know, Swan. You're a bit of tease," He scratched his face, staring at her bare back that hung open in her dress.

"You know me," She winked and he rolled his eyes. _Yes he did, _He thought.

He wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her neck from behind. She stilled and he let go.

"I wish I knew what was going on," He said, moving back to the couch. She had been acting weird for the past couple days without a single cue as to what was wrong. Liam had even tried to talk to Killian about it and found him far less ready to talk then Emma. _They were both so childish, _He laughed, rolling his eyes a bit.

Killian refused to say that there was anything wrong with him and Emma, and Emma the same, yet the three of them hadn't hungout together in weeks. It was weird. Not that Killian really wanted to hangout with them anymore. He was too busy picking up every girl in the bar and giving her the interactive tour of his bed.

Liam had grown sick of Killian's child like behavior, but Emma always seemed to have a warm spot for it. Killian had pushed them both out of his lives more in the past year then ever before, yet Emma still made excuses for him every time he missed something important. Which is why, now, Liam was wondering what had happened to make her not even trust him with her secrets. He was never the one left out of her circle of trust. Liam looked frustratingly at her and she sat down next to him on the couch. "Don't give me that look… I'm trying," She whispered, moving her hand to his and he took it gratefully. She could read him like a book.

"I could never ask for more then that," He smiled at her, "Now come on, you've made us… 2 hours late. PERFECT," He shouted at her, pulling her to the door and hearing her whine. "Too late to get out of this now, princess," He laughed.

/

Mary Margaret greeted them at the door of the bar giving Emma a big hug and a kiss on the cheek that made Emma give her a disgusted face in return.

"Oh shut up and hug me," Mary Margaret mocked her, and Emma gave an exasperated face and groaned but returned the hug. Mary Margaret was used to Emma's lack of emotion seeing as she was Emma's roommate in college and 2 years out of college was already married and living happily with David Nolan, a friend of Killian's who had practically joined their little band of misfits since freshman year at Umass Amherst.

Liam nodded to Mary Margaret expecting a nod in return but she jumped on him too, giving him a kiss on the cheek that made his face go red. "Alright… yup… how are you two friends exactly?" He joked, looking from Emma to Mary Margaret, both of which shrugged because they honestly had no answer.

"Must have been my charming personality," Emma joked, and Mary Margaret raised her eyebrows.

"Must have been that," Mary Margaret remarked sarcastically, "Especially those first few weeks when you just ignored my presence all together!"

"Yeah exactly! Good times," Emma laughed, pulling her close and Mary Margaret smiled. They had missed each other lately.

"Is Killian here?" Liam asked her, looking around the crowded bar.

"Oh yes! Everyone's here, they're with David at the table, come on," Mary Margaret pulled them both towards a table in the back, where David sat wearing a birthday crown and a banner around his shoulders, clearly already intoxicated.

Mary Margaret handed her and Liam drinks as they joined the table.

"Emma! Liam! My best friends!" He screamed to the bar and Emma heard Liam sigh next to her. She gave him a little nudge in the ribs.

"Have you met Mary Margaret? Oh wait… you lived with her," David laughed, hitting himself inn the head for saying something so stupid.

"Yeah you stole her from me, remember? You jerk," Emma joked, giving him a smack on the head.

"Heyy, it's my birthday," David gave her a little pout and she laughed.

"Oh god, you are drunk," Emma remarked, "Is Killian not cutting you off tonight?"

"Killian's too busy with his new date," David pointed drunkenly at the bar where Killian was leaning casually, a beautiful brunette girl sitting next to him, her face beet red and her eyes lusting over every inch that was Killian Jones.

Emma felt her face get red with jealously, her hands fisting around her drink.

Killian lifted his eyes to hers and he gave her a little smirk. She just shook her head at him and he raised his eyebrows. _You want to play this game? Fine. _She thought.

Emma moved back to Liam's side and he slipped his arm around her waist. Killian's smile faded a little but he still looked rather amused, giving her a look like "Okay swan".

She clenched her teeth. _God, she hated that man, _but she knew it wasn't true. "Oh look, and here I thought Killian would ignore us, but no, he can barely keep his eyes off you," Liam's voice dripped with annoyance and Emma felt a knot turn in her stomach.

"No way. He's clearly trying to get it on with little miss perky tonight," Emma whispered. Liam spat his drink out with laughter. "Sometimes I wonder if some girl's even know what a bra is," She said bitterly, downing her drink and heading up to the bar for another. "I'll be right back," She whispered, and he held her waist a little tighter before letting her go.

"What's wrong?" She said, turning back.

"Nothing, just… come back," Liam said, feeling foolish. He'd become so protective of her, he could barely keep his feelings for her straight, but he knew it would just drive her away from him. He knew he had to back off.

Emma stared at him, confused, but nodded to him before walking up to the bar. She tried to avoid Killian, but he just followed her. "What do you want, Jones?" She turned to face him.

"That's quite the dress, Swan," Killian eyed her, tilting his head to see her bare back. She smacked him in the arm.

"Ow! Is this going to be a regular thing with you? You physically abusing me for complimenting you?" He smirked at her.

"I'll stop if you stop," She shot back.

"Who said I wanted you to stop?"

Emma took a deep breathe in, trying to ignore the knot that was folding even more in her stomach. The bartender walked up to them.

"I'll have a shot of whiskey please, and a gin and tonic for my best girl here," Killian responded, slyly slipping in front of Emma.

"You hate whiskey," She eyed him.

"Yes, well I got a little too drunk on rum the last time we went out and look how that turned out," He smiled, holding back a laugh. Her face had turned bright red.

As soon as the bartender handed her a gin a tonic, she turned and made to walk away.

"Leaving me already?" Killian looked at her, a little hurt in his eyes.

"I think you're new date is looking for you," Emma nodded to the girl a couple chairs down, who was eyeing them with curiousity. Killian nodded, his smile fading.

"Tell Liam I said hey," Killian remarked, taking his shot of whiskey and turning his face in disgust.

"Why don't _you_ go talk to your brother," Emma spat at him, trying to walk away. Killian stepped in front of her.

"What a lovely idea, I'll join you two," He smiled at her, and she swear she looked at him like she was going to rip his head off, but he just ignored it, moving over to Liam.

"Killian," Liam nodded at him. Killian nodded back. Emma could cut the tension with a knife. "Yeah we're gonna need shots for this," Emma laughed.

Killian and Liam had somewhat grown apart, or Killian had pushed them apart when he started things with Emma. Liam had always called him a child and too immature and the tension between them had grown worse then Emma had ever seen. They never used to be like this.

6 shots in though, they both started to relax. Liam couldn't hold his liquor like Killian and seemed to turn back into teenager Liam, making inappropriate jokes and putting Killian into headlocks.

"And you call me the child," Killian laughed, pushing his brother off of him.

"You wish you were as sophisticated as me," Liam replied, letting his head fall back on the chair, and Emma caught him, pushing him upright.

"I think you mean a complete mess, mate."

"Only if we're talking about you," Liam laughed.

"I prefer dashing rapscallion," He winked at him and Liam burst out laughing, spilling a beer someone had left on the table.

"I think he's had enough," Emma said to the table, all of who were just as drunk as Liam. "I think you've allll had enough," She laughed, noticing David kissing Mary Margaret in the corner like he hadn't seen her in years.

"Well that's something I'll never be able to unsee," She whispered, feeling her eyes start to water at the sight. Killian laughed.

"Are you drunk?" Emma asked him and he shook his head no. Emma knew he was lying a little bit but she also knew the man could hold his liquor so she decided to take her chances. "Alright then you get to help me bring this lovely gentlemen into his car so I can drive him home," Emma smiled at him. He just stared at her and nodded.

"What…. What are you looking at," Emma suddenly felt like she was being examined, his eyes wide as she moved to help Liam, who had seemingly passed out on the table in the two seconds Emma had taken her eyes off him.

"You're beautiful," Killian remarked, before getting up and helping her pick up Liam. "My brother's very lucky," He said, not looking at Emma's eyes anymore, knowing she'd see through his drunken fog.

Emma blushed anyways, slipping her arm under Liam's while Killian took the other side, both helping him through the door and into the backseat of his truck. Killian made for the driver's seat but Emma pushed him back laughing.

"What?" He looked at her, laughing with her although she didn't think he got the joke.

"You're not driving, you're drunk," Emma rolled her eyes.

"Then take the keys," Killian shrugged, holding the keys high above his head so Emma had to jump for them.

"C'mon," She yelled through clenched teeth. She reached up, trying to keep herself as far away from him as possible while still trying to reach them. Slowly, he moved the keys so they were behind him, forcing her to grab him to keep him still.

"So is this how you get a girl to touch you?" Emma growled. Killian wrapped one arm around her waist and dipped her back so he was the only thing holding her up. She gasped, and reached for his shoulder.

"You'd touch me anyways," He laughed. She rolled her eyes.

"You'd probably make me," She joked.

"Only if you wanted it, lass," He said, looking daringly into her eyes.

"Yeah well. No feelings attached, right?" Emma whispered sarcastically.

Killian looked seriously at her.

"I could get you to fall in love with me," He growled, "And not just because I'm a god in bed."

"Too bad I can't remember how bad you were," Emma whispered back, he was lifting her up so her face was barely an inch away from his.

"No one wins me," Emma said seriously, trying to push him back a little.

"I could," He whispered. Emma opened her mouth but he shushed her.

" When I win your heart, Emma, and trust me I will win it... It won't be because of some trickery it will be because you want me," He stared into her eyes and Emma felt her heart beat faster. He noticed, raised his eyebrows a little. She gave him a little smile moving her lips closer to his. Killian's eyes were filled with lust. He wanted her. Slowly Emma reached her hand around him so that they were holding each other, their lips so close to touching. "You couldn't handle it," Emma whispered, snagging the keys out of his hand.

"Get in the car, you're drunk," She said loudly, waving the keys in a little victory dance. He moved away from her, his heart beating out of his chest. He didn't know why he had said that or where he thought that would go but he was extremely turned on.

He shook his head at her. "You'll regret that," He laughed and she winked back at him. Killian took a look in the backseat. Liam was passed out, his head down on the seat. _Well thank god for that, _He thought, moving to the passenger seat. This was going to be harder then he thought.


	4. Guns and Roses

Liam opened his eyes, he was in his bed and someone was breathing next to him. He smiled a little and turned over expecting Emma to be laying with him in his bed. She was not. "KILLIAN WHAT THE HELL."

Killian opened his eyes lazily, looking around the room. "So… How was I?" He laughed. Liam kicked him hard in the gut.

"Well, that was unnecessary," Killian retaliated, holding his gut and going to punch Liam in the face.

"You can't punch me when I let you sleep in my bed!"

"You didn't let me! You passed out! We had to carry you three flights of stairs up to your apartment. You're lucky I'm so fit," Killian remarked. _Of course he had to make a fucking body comment. _Liam ignored him.

"Wait what do you mean we?" He asked, looking up at his brother who was still making himself at home in his bed.

"Oh, Emma's here somewhere… She was going to sleep in here… And then I jumped in… here," Killian explained, suddenly realizing all the holes in that story.

"Why did you do that?" Liam asked, a little annoyed.

"Um… I missed you," Killian offered as a reply. Liam just rolled his eyes.

"You're an ass."

"I don't know, you're a pretty good spooner," Killian laughed and Liam smacked him in the face.

Killian rubbed his forehead, thinking of last night and wondering why he had been so defiant about her sleeping in here. He knew why and so did she.

"Sorry mate, didn't mean to be a cock block," He said, stretching and moving out of bed, pretending to not care what happened between his brother and Emma.

"No, it's fine… we haven't done that," Liam said, a little embarrassed. Killian's eyes lit up at that. _Why had she kept that part a secret from him, _He wondered.

"I mean she's slept over before and we've done other stuff but when it comes down to sex, she kind of takes that seriously. I think it makes her feel vulnerable," Liam said, not even necessarily to Killian but he listened anyways and nodded.

"Yeah, I understand that," Killian responded and he heard Liam snort.

"What?" He gave him a defensive look.

"You sleep with anything that moves!" Liam shouted through his laughs.

"Yeah a couple years ago maybe, but I'm 24 I don't want that anymore," Killian shot back.

"Since when?" Liam asked.

_Since Emma, _He thought, scratching his hand behind his ear and giving Liam a soft smile. "Since I slept next to that damn thing," Killian raised his eyebrows pointing at Liam's body.

"Yeah, this is what a real man looks like," Liam responded, flexing his muscles. Killian flexed his too and soon they were wrestling on the floor again, both their heads pounding from the night before and yet neither one seemed to care.

A little cough made them both look up, Killian was sitting on Liam's back with his neck in a headlock.

"Soo, should I come back later?" Emma laughed, intrigued by the fight in front of her.

"Sorry," Killian sputtered, dropping Liam, "It's bad form to show up your friend's boyfriend I guess."

Emma stilled and Liam turned a little pink, turning away. _Guess they weren't really using those words yet either, _Killian thought, remembering Emma referring to him as her boyfriend only a couple of weeks ago. _Why was she hiding things from him? _Killian raised his eyebrows at her and she gave a look. "Later," He mouthed at her and she reluctantly nodded.

"Anyways, I made pancakes because I can't sleep on your couch… because it's like sleeping on logs," Emma said through clenched teeth, feeling the knots in her back. Killian had basically shoved her out of Liam's room telling her he wasn't about that. It was kind of amusing to watch him get protective of her. _God she was a horrible person, _She thought.

She looked down at the two guys again, Killian and Liam were laughing together as he helped Liam up off the floor. They used to be inseperable like that, and Emma couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible. Her smile faded.

"Actually, I'm gonna head out, if that's okay," She whispered, moving out of the doorway to avoid the confused looks both guys were giving her.

"Why are you leaving?" Liam asked her, looking concerned. She hated that they got concerned.

"I have… errands," Emma muttered, moving towards the door, "I'll see you guys later."

"Hey… wait," Liam shouted, following her to the door. He put a hand on either of her cheeks and raised her face to his. He gave her a soft kiss on the lips and she felt her chest flutter as he pulled her close.

"I'll see you later?" He asked. She nodded, glancing at Killian who was facing away from her, not daring to see them kiss.

"Bye Killian," She whispered. He glanced behind him at her, giving her a little wave, and turning back to breakfast. The knot in her stomach tightened a little. _What was she even doing? _She wondered, pushing out the door before she made an idiot of herself.

/

"Why am I so stupid?!" Emma screamed, pacing in her apartment, "Why do I always fuck things up!" She started kicking her chairs over.

"It's my fault they don't get along anymore, IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT!" tears were starting to flow from her face and she felt her fists clenching. She needed to get away from this.

"AH," She shouted, trying to let out some anger. She knew she wasn't going to get it out in this apartment. She needed an outing and she knew just where to go.

She picked up her phone, dialing a number and putting the phone to her face.

"Mary Margaret… I need to go somewhere. You're not going to like it… Wanna come?" Emma said bluntly, trying to control her breathing.

"Oh god, what happened?" Mary Margaret replied into the phone.

"Nothing different," Emma said, she wasn't much of a talker, even to Mary Margaret.

"So… Let me guess. Gun range?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Gun range," Emma replied. Mary Margaret was always much more of a lover then a fighter. She never really believed in Emma's tactic of shooting out her aggression but when it came down to it, Mary Margaret was one of the best gunman Emma had ever seen, and she would trust that woman with her life.

Mary Margaret sighed, "Alright, let's do this."

Emma smiled through the phone. She needed this. She needed to do this.

/

Emma stood with her feet below her shoulders, her right leg a little behind her left. She held her shoulders back, and her arms straight in front of her to grasp the handgun between her fingers. She slipped on her earmuffs to protect her ears from the sound and began shooting at her target. Mary Margaret watched from next to her and then put up her own gun. She looked experienced, she looked right behind a gun, which confused everybody since Mary Margaret couldn't hurt a fly.

BAM. Her gun went off going straight through the bullseye on her target. Emma laughed, her own shots had been pretty close, she wasn't bad behind a gun, but obviously Mary Margaret was better.

"Alright, well thanks for showing me up, Mom," Emma teased.

"Hey, you invited the master, this is what you get," Mary Margaret smiled back. She knew she was a natural, "So are you going to tell me why we're here or just keep shooting?"

"Just keep shooting," Emma replied, pushing her ear muffs back on and pumping out ammo into her target. Mary Margaret sighed a little, she knew this was all she would get out of Emma.

"You know keeping feelings bottled up can give you cancer," She said, looking at Emma to be sure she heard her.

"Yeah, well better me then you," Emma smiled, a little bitterness behind her eyes. She couldn't talk to Mary Margaret, not today. She was the cause of two people's pain and caused them to drift apart, something she couldn't forgive herself for and talking about it wouldn't solve anything.

They sat in silence for a little, both of them getting the feel of their guns, both hitting their targets square in the center, and giving each other looks of admiration as they did so. Emma felt herself calming down. It kind of worried her that the only thing that calmed her down was a gun, but she shrugged it off. _I'm already fucked up anyways, _She thought putting the gun down and looking to Mary Margaret who nodded and put hers down too and came over to give Emma a hug.

"It's okay sweetie… One day you'll be able to beat me," Mary Margaret laughed and Emma pushed her off, taking a couple more shots. One went through the target.

"This is the last time I'm inviting you here," Emma laughed.

"GOOD," Mary Margaret yelled over the gun shots.

"Thanks for coming," Emma said suddenly, looking over the make eye contact with her friend who just nodded.

"Come on, I have tea," Mary Margaret smiled at her, leading her out of the range. Emma put her arm around her and they walked out together. She was feeling better already.

/

"Good afternoon," David smiled at Emma as he wandered out to the kitchen, giving Mary Margaret a big kiss.

"I see you're recovering well," Emma laughed and saw David blush a little.

"Yeah I've had finer moments," He laughed, scratching the back of his head like Killian did.

"Oh god, you've been spending too much time with Killian," Emma looked away, she didn't need any reminders of him today.

"Oh, yeah I guess it's a tick you pick up after awhile," David looked questioningly at Emma, "Although you two are getting pretty close again, I see."

Emma glared at him, "We've always been close."

"He's barely been seen," David responded, turning to look at her.

"I haven't really noticed…" Emma realized, sipping at her tea and looking away from David.

"I've barely seen him around until last night. That guy's been really depressed lately, it was nice to see him smiling again," David smiled at her and she felt her face soften. _Why didn't he tell her that, _She wondered, thinking back to when they had hungout in the past couple months, realizing she had only seen him every other Friday for bad movie night, and last Thursday when… _She wasn't going to go there. _

_"_He's been depressed?" She asked.

"Yeah I guess he fell for this girl who didn't reciprocate and she moved on and he can't… It's really affected him hard actually," David said, "He didn't tell you this?"

"No," Emma thought back, she was hurt, but something in her gut told her this wasn't something she was supposed to hear.

"Well he always seems happy with you," David smiled at her but it didn't make Emma feel better. She was glad they had gone to the shooting range or she would've felt the need to run out the door as fast as she could and never look back.

Mary Margaret reached for her hand giving her a reassuring squeeze and bringing Emma back to reality. Emma gave her a small smile to say thanks. David didn't seem to notice anything was wrong because he just kept talking and Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. Emma shook her head. _It was fine, everything was fine, _She thought, feeling a clenching in her chest.

/

"You told her _what?!"_ Killian yelled through the phone at David.

"I was just giving her a push! She didn't know!" David yelled back defensively.

"Because she's with my brother you piece of shit!" Killian screamed, pushing his hair back and kicking his desk chair over.

"Calm down, it's not like I said it was about her!" David said, unaware of Killian's advances to her.

"Bloody hell," He whispered. He knew she'd be coming here eventually.

"I'm sorry I just want to see you both happy again," David said, trying to soothe his friend.

Killian took a deep breathe. It wasn't David's fault and he knew that. He shouldn't have told him the truth in the first place.

"I know, mate. No harm done," Killian said finally, trying to sound reassuring but he knew he was coming off as a bit of a jackass.

"Well, she left here hours ago and she's still not there so that's a good sign right?" David asked. Killian nodded to himself, although they both knew that Emma wasn't one to come around looking for a fight until it was midnight and she finally felt everything she didn't want to feel.

Killian looked at his watch. It was 5 in the afternoon. He gave her a couple hours until she came knocking on his door. He leaned back on his couch, flicked on the TV, and opened a beer. He wasn't going to be having this fight sober.

/

Emma sat on her own couch, her feet propped up and NCIS marathon playing on her TV. Her chair was still kicked over and she felt no need to pick it up.

"Sorry chair I know you don't deserve my hatred," Emma mumbled to the chair. _Oh god, I'm losing it, _She thought. It was getting late and she knew she'd do something stupid if she stayed up any longer, she always did. So this time she picked up her things, cleaned up the kitchen a little and got into bed. She looked lazily about the room. It was lonely, not many guys saw this part of her apartment if they even got that far. _I'm better off alone, _she thought, and pushed her feelings aside, feeling the numbing sensation of sleep as her eyes drifted close.

/

_Knock knock. _

Emma lifted her head lazily, looking over at the clock that read that it was 2 in the morning. Emma sat up, nobody was ever at her door this early. Moving to her door she pulled it open, expecting an emergency. Killian leaned against the frame of the door, his head leaning back as he stared at her.

"What's wrong.." Emma asked, she could see it all over his face.

"You didn't come over," He mumbled.

"I thought it'd be better that way," She stared at him, wondering why he had come all the way here just to say that.

"You mate, have been keeping secrets," He raised his eyebrows at her.

"So have you _mate," _She retaliated.

"May I come in?" He asked politely. Emma sighed, she knew that they needed to talk she just hadn't expected it to be so soon.

"Obviously," She said, throwing the door open. Walking over to the kitchen she pulled out two beers.

"No thanks, love. I'm actually already a bit buzzed," He laughed.

"Yeah these are for me," Emma laughed, taking a seat on the couch and motioning for him to join her.

She should have felt uncomfortable with a man here at 2 in the morning while she wore nothing but a loose tee and booty shorts. Her hair was a mess but she wanted to keep it that way. Fixing it meant that she cared and she didn't.

They sat in silence for a little as Emma sipped her beer, not really caring to start the conversation.

"Alright fine, I'll start," He said, rolling his eyes at her, "Why have you been pretending like you want to be with Liam?"

"I'm not pretending…he's a great guy," Emma said defensively but Killian cut her off.

"He is a great guy, everyone knows that. But he's nothing like you, and you call him your boyfriend and pretend you are all lovely dovey but 1) even I know that you aren't the lovey dovey type, love and 2) when I mentioned the word boyfriend you both looked like you wanted to crawl into a pit and die," Killian was raising his voice but he couldn't help it, he was pissed. "But you made me believe that you were happy with him… Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Why did you lie about hooking up with Milah?! We both know she's not what you want," Emma spat.

"For the same reason you lied. Because we can't be open with each other and admit that we're both not happy where we are," Killian said bluntly, throwing his hands in the air for effect.

"You ignored me for months! Closed me off for months! I saw you twice a month and we watched a movie and talked about your latest fucking hook up!"

"Yeah? Did I? When did you realize that? Today? Because until now, I haven't seen you complain about my lack of attendance," He shot back.

"I always defended you!"

"Why?!"

"Because I care!" Emma was fuming, and she stood up, pacing back and forth in her living room.

"You never cared enough to ask," Killian said, raising his eyebrows and clenching his jaw.

"I didn't know you wanted me to," Emma responded, looking up at him. Killian laughed.

"Ya know, not everyone's as closed off as you, Swan," He spat picking up the beer and taking a sip, he was not nearly drunk enough for this talk yet he had forced himself here and for what? Even he didn't know what he expected to gain from this.

"I have my reasons. You know that," Emma said softly, trying to hold in the tears behind her eyes.

"Yeah and you know what? They suck. Yes you were abandoned. Yeah, Neal broke your heart and you tell me constantly how you will always be better off alone because no one will ever make you feel happy. Well what about me and Liam? We've been here for you since the day we met you," Killian didn't even realize he felt this strongly about it until the words were already coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah and I'm the reason you guys aren't close anymore! I'm the reason your brother is going to get his heart broken… all I do is hurt," She couldn't hold back the tears anymore and she felt her knees starting to collapse. He responded quickly, holding her up with his arms and bringing her back to the couch.

Emma tried to turn her face away from him but he just slipped his arm around her shoulders and she turned back, crying into his arm as he stroked her hair.

"Emma. You didn't do anything wrong. You are family regardless of what happens between… yeah," Killian wasn't sure where to take that sentence, "Liam and I stopped talking because… I couldn't stand that he had taken you when he knew how I felt about you. I tried to confront him about it and he called me childish and he was right. So I tried to focus on myself for a little, as surprising as it is I'm really not as much of a drunk as you two still see me as. In fact, I'm not really that person at all. But no one's really seemed to care until the other night," Killian knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop, "I've loved you since I was 16 and I know you loved me too at one point. I love my brother but you don't belong with him and you both know it."

Emma breathed heavily. "I'm so sorry for all the emotional damage I've put you through," She said quietly.

"I'm sorry for all the damage life has thrown at you," He laughed, pulling her close to his chest, "It's going to be okay, Swan. I know it."

Emma looked up at him. Her face was lined with tears and Killian wanted so badly to kiss each tear off her face but he kept himself back. Instead Emma reached her face up, and gave a little kiss on his cheek. He gave her a little smirk.

"I knew you wanted me," He laughed and she rolled her eyes, pushing him away from her.

"Ugh, _there_ you are," She laughed, kicking him softly in the stomach.

"Owww, watch the abs," He laughed pushing her feet back.

"I've missed you Swan," He whispered and she smiled back at him.

"I've missed you too," She whispered back grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. He pulled her back into him and they just sat there for a bit, her breathing softly into his chest until he heard a little snore and he laughed to himself. His watch read 4 am and he knew he should leave her, but she looked so unprotected and alone and he held her tightly to his chest.

Finally he lifted her up and carried her to her room. Her eyes had fluttered open for a second when he lifted her, but she just tightened her arms around his neck and pushed her face into his chest.

Killian put her down softly into her bed, covering her with her blankets. He gave her a little kiss on the forehead and watched her fall back into sleep. He smiled at her and turned to leave.

"Killian?"

"yes?"

"Stay… please," She whispered through the dark. He nodded at her, giving her a little smile and seeing one in return.

"As you wish," He whispered, closing her door and moving to the couch. He crashed on the cushions and felt his heart beat fast in his chest. He didn't just want her, he needed her, and he knew it.


	5. Lessons Learned

Emma's eyes opened weakly. Light was pouring into her room. Her head hurt and her eyes were puffy. She looked like a mess and she knew it but there was no point in dwelling on it. Rubbing her eyes she focused on the room in front of her and completely disregarded the fight that had blown up at 2 am on her doorstep. She wasn't going to think about it today. She wasn't going to think about _him _today.

She got up lazily, not bothering to put pants on, it was still early and she wasn't ready to be a normal person yet. Emma moved to the kitchen, expecting to make some coffee, eat some cereal and head off to her job at Boston College, where she was helping teach a class on criminal justice. She had been thoroughly passionate about it since she was forced into the system as a baby and saw how some people were treated by the police force as she grew up. She wanted to make that better, she knew how criminals minds worked and it gave her an edge not a lot of people had.

Yawning she moved around the corner and tripped over something that sent her crashing to the ground. No not something, _someone_. Emma hit the wood floors with a little scream, her shirt riding up and she realized she was basically naked, lying on her kitchen floor, with Killian Jones looking bewildered at her while going through her cupboards.

"Morning Swan," He laughed, reaching a hand down to her. She swatted it away, helping herself up. He was still laughing, looking at her with his eyebrows raised.

"What are you doing on my kitchen floor," Emma asked, rubbing her neck from hitting the floor.

"Trying to find a pan to make some food… did you know you have one pan… and it's at least 50 years old?" He looked at her, holding up a rusty pan that Emma had bought at a garage sale when she had first moved in.

"Shut up," Her cheeks were turning pink, "I actually forgot I told you to stay here, you just caught me off guard."

"Was that an excuse to take your pants off?" Killian looked at her, clearly still able to make suggestive jokes around her so she figured he wanted to move on from last night, too. She smiled at him. Moving to her table and plopping herself down in one of the chairs Emma leaned back easy trying to close her eyes and forget about the man in her kitchen. She could feel his eyes on her.

"Are we going to talk about last night?" He asked, and she opened one eye to look at him. _Or not, _She thought.

"Nope," She closed her eyes again, still leaning back in her chair. Killian just shook his head, she was so stubborn sometimes and she knew it.

"Well… I have a surprise for you," Killian said softly, eyeing her to see how she would react. She turned to him suspiciously.

"Why…" She asked. He hadn't expected that. He had expected a "what" or "where" not exactly a why, but then again she would be the only person to ask that because no one ever did surprises for her. It made him sad.

"Because… you have filled my apartment with awful nautical themed objects and haven't actually gone sailing with me in years," He tried to hold back a smile but his attempts failed when he looked up and saw Emma beaming at him.

Emma's face practically split open her smile was so big. "Really? You hate other people on your boat," She said matter of factly and he considered this. It was generally true after all.

"Well you're not just other people," He said, matter of factly and she seemed to accept that answer because she got silent after that. He sat down next to her handing her a bowl of fruit loops.

"Your finest breakfast I could give you m'lady," Killian said.

"Why thank you kind sir, it's too much," She laughed and he gave an elaborate bow.

"Anything for the lady," He winked at her, eating out of his own bowl. He had forgotten how good this cereal was.

They just sat and talked for a while letting the conversation come easily. Both were ignoring the fact that he had slept over to make sure she was okay and that she had broken down in front of him only a few hours ago. Instead they went back to joking and pushing each other and they both couldn't help but be happy like that, even if it was only for a little while.

"I need to go to work," Emma said finally, realizing they had been talking for well over an hour and she was going to be late if she didn't hurry up.

"Alright, meet me at the docks around 4?" He looked at her.

"4? Are we watching the sunset?" She raised her eyebrows at him and saw him turn a little pink.

"I can be romantic," He laughed, "I'm the whole package Swan." She gave him a look of annoyance and he gave her that look like he knew she wanted it. They stared at each other, each one feeling the connection that lingered between them but finally he broke it, looking away and picking up his stuff.

"I'll see you later… And… don't bring Liam," He joked but Emma knew he meant it. The conversation last night had gotten dangerously close to her admitting her attraction to him and she knew she couldn't push on with Liam anymore, not when she felt like this.

/

The class went well, it was more of a debate then anything on whether two teenage guys should have been given the death penalty for the murder of three young boys. It was a pretty split class and things had started to get heated when Emma decided to just tell them what the jury decided which was jail for life and one of the boys was charged with the death penalty. This then caused an even bigger uproar in the class and Emma rolled her eyes at them, most of them just a couple years younger then her, yet she presented herself proud and in charge and they respected her for that. She didn't take bullshit from anyone. _Mostly anyone, _she thought, but this wasn't the time to think of that.

"But Ms. Swan…," one of the girls continued, "The other one was just as much involved in the murder as that guy, he just seemed like the bigger asshole."

"Yeah that's kind of how the world sees criminals. You go to trial if you think you can win over a jury, and if you wouldn't be able to do that then you try and bargain with your lawyers. Personality affects a lot of major decisions in life," Emma responded, thinking back to her own failures that had stemmed from her bitchy attitude and self-sufficient demeanor. Here she was respected for it, and she intended on keeping it that way.

"But that's not fair…" One of the guys said and everyone kind of laughed. It was an obvious statement and not something people generally yelled out but it was true. Emma smiled at him. "Yeah well welcome to the world of criminal justice," She laughed sarcastically, hearing the bell ring and everyone start to move around her.

"Um, Ms. Swan," one of the guys from her class walked up to her. Emma looked up seeing a tall, tan man with some kind of accent standing in front of her, a mess of short light brown hair on his head, his smile probably made women weak at the knees but Emma just stood there staring at him.

"I'm Graham, I'm in your class this semester," He said pointing up to the chairs in front of her and she nodded.

"Yeah I recognize you. What can I do for you?" She asked, sensing he was nervous in front of her.

"I just think you're an amazing teacher and you're beautiful and I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink… with me… sometime," He gave her a little half smile that made her feel like he was genuinely trying to just be a good guy.

"I'm flattered, Graham but I'm not really one to date my students," She replied, turning to pick up her bag and her papers.

"I figured you'd say that. If you change your mind though, give me a call," He smiled at her, pulling out a pen and a piece of paper and scribbling down his number. She sighed but she took it and he seemed pleased about that.

"It was very nice talking to you Ms. Swan," He said starting to walk away.

"Emma," She said, not really sure why.

"What?" He asked, turning back to her.

"You can call me Emma," She smiled at him and he genuinely smiled back at her.

"It was very nice talking to you… Emma."

Emma felt herself blush a little before turning back to her things and heading out the door. She wasn't sure why she had done that. It's not like she was going to call him anyways. She pulled out her phone.

Liam had texted her.

_Meet me for lunch today? _

She bit her lip, looking at her watch. It was 2 pm; she had two hours before she was meeting Killian.

_Sure I'd love to! Meet at The Grind in 10? _She wrote back, heading straight for the coffee shop a couple of blocks away. Her heart was beating fast and she wasn't sure what she was going to say except that this wasn't going to go well. He needed to know the truth.

/

Liam sat holding his coffee, staring into the cup and rotating it slowly in his hands. "He's loved you since he was 16 you know?" He said finally, after listening to everything Emma had to say.

She had tear streaks down her face but she had mostly kept herself calm and collected. She wasn't one to keep secrets from Liam and she saw him putting the pieces together in his head as she talked. His body slowly leaning down towards his cup in disappointment at every new word she spoke.

"I never meant to hurt you," Emma kept saying it over and over again and each time he nodded. He wasn't surprised though, just disappointed.

"I love you no matter what you know that right? I don't care that you slept with Killian or if you want to be with him or whatever it is you want Emma. I'd rather be here as your friend, like I always have been, then be cast to the side and kept in the dark while you figure out your feelings," He sounded bitter but not mad and Emma felt like dying inside.

"I don't know what it is. I really tried to give this a shot but I couldn't put my heart into it. I love you too, just not exactly the way you want me to," She said it, looking away from him and was surprised to hear a little laugh from him.

"Emma, I never asked you to love me like this… I feel it too, that this was weird for us to do but I just thought it was the right thing to do. But clearly I was wrong. I just want you to be happy," He smiled a little at her, reaching for her hand and she let him take it, squeezing it back.

"You… don't want this either?" Emma asked, a little surprised but it made her feel better about the situation.

"I love you as you. If that means being your friend then that's what I'll be. I pushed you to do this, and I pushed Killian away because of it. I think I always knew you two were supposed to be the ones together and I still pushed you apart and that wasn't fair of me to do," Liam continued, this time looking up from his mug, a little ashamed in himself. A tear came down Emma's face and Liam pushed it away, lifting her chin up so she was looking at him.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," He whispered to her and she clung to him in a hug. Liam hugged her back, he didn't want to let her go but he knew he had to. He knew it was the right thing to do. Still he held on for a long time, just lingering there holding her before finally forcing himself to move away from her.

"I hate being the mature one," He laughed finally and Emma laughed back, wiping her face with her sleeve.

"No thank god I have you or I'd have probably set myself on fire or something by now," She joked and he gave her a look.

"You did set yourself on fire, remember? When we first met you, you tricked us into thinking we could make hot chocolate and literally caught your sleeve on fire," Liam stared at her, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I was finee," Emma remarked, brushing it off.

"Yeah after a nice trip to the hospital and burn scars for the next 6 years," Liam yelled at her, spinning her arm over to see if the scars were still there but they had almost faded by now.

"We learned how to make it," She laughed, pulling her arm back and Liam rolled his eyes at her.

"Yes, well I hope it was worth it," He teased

"Yes thank you dad," She joked, "I've learned my lesson." She stuck her tongue out at him and he threw a sugar packet at her.

"This. I've missed this," Emma whispered, and Liam smiled at her. He knew what she meant.

/

2 hours later, Emma found herself still sitting in the coffee shop, joking with Liam, her date with Killian almost forgotten until she checked her phone and realized she had 10 missed calls from him wondering where she was.

"Oh shit!" Emma jumped up, almost knocking over the table.

"What? What's wrong?" Liam asked, grabbing the table to keep it steady.

"I forgot I had… plans…" Emma stopped short looking down at Liam who looked back blankly.

"Go ahead… plans… with Killian?" He guessed and she nodded slowly. He gave her a little smile. "It's okay Ems, go. I'll see you later."

Emma gave him a little kiss on the cheek and thanked him, running outside and heading for the docks. She kept calling him but the calls wouldn't go through. _Fuck me, _Emma thought, running as fast as she could in a skirt down to the pier. He still wasn't answering and Emma just put her phone away, focusing on getting there.

"Is Jones still here?" Emma panted to Henry, one his co-workers at the docks who was helping tie up some of the boats when Emma came hurtling down, looking like she had just ran a marathon.

"No he left about a half hour ago out on his boat, with some girl. It looked pretty romantic if you ask me. Probably best to leave him alone for a little," Henry winked at her and Emma felt her stomach twisting up into knots. _What had she done?_

_/_

Killian laid back on his boat, letting the waves rock it side to side, the sky turning orange as the sun fell. His phone had died hours ago and he wasn't planning on charging it anytime soon. Emma had stood him up and he had heard from David that Liam had decided to take her out on a date. Why he had thought things were going better for him was beyond him. He gave a little sigh and heard a little giggle in return. Milah lifted her head up to see him and he smiled at her. He had called her after realizing Emma wasn't coming. He just didn't want to be alone tonight.

"Thanks for joining me," He said, giving her a little reassuring smile.

"I wasn't going to leave you dateless with this spectacular view," She giggled again. She reached for his hand and he felt himself tense up but he let her take it. Milah leaned on her side so she was looking at Killian, letting her shirt hang low revealing quite a lot of cleavage. He looked at her his eyebrows furrowing as she leaned her face close to his, giving him a little kiss on the lips.

He raised his arms up so they were around her and she took that as reinforcement to keep going. She kissed him a little harder, letting his tongue in her mouth. Killian moved her so he was the one almost on top of her, his hands in her hair, her lips on his body. She pulled his shirt up and he helped her pull it off of him. _Move on, _He kept telling himself, letting himself get lost in Milah's kisses. She wasn't Emma and that's all that mattered.


	6. Memories

Chapter 6

_A/N: So I know everyone's about to rip off my head so I figured I'd give you guys a heads up that things are about to get even worse so… be prepared for that… but then things will get better! (probably) Anyways thank you for the reviews (except you… you know who you are (WeBeOncing13)) (just kidding I love you) and please keep following and reviewing! Thanks guys! _

/

Emma stood outside Killian's apartment, her hands fiddling with the spare key he had given her years ago that he probably didn't even remember she had. Emma's hands were shaking nervously, her palms sweaty with anticipation. She needed to make things up to him, she needed him to know why she was late and she couldn't just sit back and let another girl waltz into Killian's life when he didn't know how she felt.

She made up her mind, slipping the spare key into the lock and moving with a purpose to his room. She laughed when she walked in, that scent smelling oh so familiar to her and it did something unexpected, it turned her on. She had put this off long enough. She wanted him and she knew he wanted her back, you could feel it between them, hanging in the air just waiting for someone to make that first move and here she was to do it. She slipped out of her skirt letting it fall to the floor to reveal her long toned legs. She sighed, looking down at all the bruises that rested on her legs, she wasn't the usual fragile butterflies Killian usually brought home but even as the thought came through her head it had disappeared as the thoughts of him walking into his room to find her in his bed, just waiting for his arrival.

Emma unbuttoned her shirt next, leaving it open to reveal to her lacey bra and matching panties. She pulled some of her ringlets out so they were hanging down her back and a few over her breasts. She looked hot and she knew it. It had been hours since he left on the boat and she just hoped to god he would be coming back soon. He still hadn't answered his phone but Emma knew Killian and he wasn't exactly on top of new technology. It was like teaching an old dog new tricks. Killian would learn them to get Emma off his back and then go back to his old flip phone without a second thought. _Just for once, Killian, remember to fucking charge your phone, _Emma thought, already getting annoyed at him and then realizing once again that she was the one waiting in his bed, practically naked, and decided that fight could wait. _Or could it?_

She heard a voice outside the door. Her heart beat a little faster at that sexy british accent and she bit her lip. She lay still in his bed, waiting for him to walk in.

"Would you like some coffee?" Killian said softly on the other side of the door, and Emma's smile faded when she realized he wasn't alone.. and a girl's voice soon responded to him.

"I'd like something…" She heard the girl whisper and she practically threw up in her mouth. Emma was up in a flash grabbing her skirt off the floor as the door to the bedroom flung open. _Shit, _Emma ran for the closet, closing the door as Milah turned into the room, pulling Killian with her. Emma slipped on her skirt, tucking her shirt in and attempting to button some of it and failing miserably.

"Come here, I've missed you. I want you," Milah whispered into his ear and Emma opened the door just a peak to see what was going on. Killian was shirtless, staring amusingly at Milah, who was lying in his bed and wiggling her finger at him to join her. Emma's stomach turned. _Oh no, _Emma thought. She needed to get out and get out now.

Thinking on her feet, Emma pulled out her cell phone and dialed Killian's home phone, thanking the lord that Killian still thought he needed one of those. She peaked out the door and saw Killian's head turn to the kitchen.

"I'll be right back love," He said distractedly moving to the kitchen. Milah stayed in the bed and Emma felt her heart pounding harder in her chest. _Fucking move, _she wanted to scream at her, to rip her off his bed and tell her that she was the one who belonged there not Milah. Instead Emma sat silently, just waiting for something to happen.

"Hello?" Killian picked up the phone. _Shit, _She hadn't thought this through. Emma tried to whisper into the phone.

"Is this Killian Jones?"

"Depends who's asking," He responded and Emma tried to hold back a laugh.

"Uh, this is… Carla… I work with Henry down by the docks and I think your boat had some damage to it," Emma said, hoping she sounded somewhat official and like she new anything about what she was talking about. Milah seemed to be getting bored alone in Killian's room and she moved out into the living room.

"Oh nevermind, it's fine, just stay in you're living room… no need to come down here… or go anywhere else besides you're living room," Emma tried to stay quiet as she moved back into Killian's room. Peering out the door she saw Killian looking confusingly at the phone and Milah staring at the wall, paying no attention to what was happening.

"Uh… alright. Have a good night," Killian said awkwardly into the phone, hanging it up and looking confusingly around the room before turning his back to the door and leaning against his kitchen sink. Milah moved over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He smiled at her and Emma felt her heart sink. She needed to get out. Opening the door slowly so as not to make a sound Emma got on her hands and feet and shuffled by the opening to the kitchen, hoping to god they didn't see her. No one made a sound. Emma sighed in relief and continued her awkward shuffle to the front door.

"Now can we have a night together? It's been so long… You haven't already moved on from me have you?" Emma heard Milah tease Killian and it took all her strength not to yell.

"I have to be honest with you, or at least I tried to," Killian admitted and Emma hid herself behind a wall, trying to hear his conversation.

"I, uh, tried to move on… but I got stood up today and I guess that was kind of the final straw for me. I've been hurting a lot lately and I need someone who can actually be there to make me happy," He was being brutally honest and Emma's heart ached as she realized how much she had hurt him. He was right. He deserved better then her anyways.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Milah said soothingly into his ear and Emma had heard the words so much. _I am not going to hurt you. _A tear fell from Emma's eyes and she moved to the door, it opened easily and she honestly just didn't care anymore if they heard the door closed, she wasn't going to be coming back.

/

Killian felt Milah's lips touch his. She seemed enveloped in their kiss but Killian was sure he heard his front door open. Her lips were moving to his neck and Killian flicked his eyes open, eyeing the front door and seeing blonde curls disappearing with the door closing behind her.

Instinctively, Killian pushed Milah off him.

"What the hell," He whispered.

"Killy?" She asked wondering what was going on.

"Don't call me that," Killian's jaw clenched, "Stay here, I'll be right back." Milah started to protest but he was already moving to the door, he knew Emma would be gone if he didn't follow her now.

She was at the bottom of the stairs trying to slip her flats on. Those blonde ringlets covering her face so he couldn't see what was going through her head. _Why had she been there? How much had she seen?, _Killian pushed the thoughts from his mind, moving swiftly down the stairs and seeing Emma lift her face, her make-up badly skewed across her face.

"Emma?"

She froze.

"Don't run," He pleaded, moving closer to her like she was a hurt animal that he would scare off if he didn't do this right. But Emma wasn't looking at him like she was hurt, she was just looking at him. Her eyes were glassy, giving away no emotion behind her eyes.

"That's not really any of your concern," Emma whispered bitterly. She pulled out her spare key and handed it to Killian. He looked down at it his eyebrows furrowed on his forehead.

"What are you doing?" He asked her, although he seemed to understand.

"Letting go," She said simply. He didn't reach up for the key. Emma grabbed his hand roughly and pushed the key into his palm.

"I want you to be happy. I'm sorry," Emma said, looking genuinely at Killian's face, which seemed to light up with understanding.

"Shit, you heard that? Emma that's not what I meant…" Killian started but she gave him a little look.

"No you're right, you need someone that can actually make you happy," Emma spat back at him turning swiftly and moving towards the door. Killian grabbed her arm but she pushed him off.

"Emma please!" Killian shouted but she was already out the door. He felt his jaw clench in frustration. He ran his hands through his hair. He hadn't done anything wrong. _She didn't want him, right? _Killian thought, not quite understanding what had just happened. _Why had she been there? _He slammed his fist against the wall.

"I was just trying to move on," He spat through clenched teeth, his face turning red.

"Killian?" A voice came from up the stairs.

"Yeah… Yeah I'm coming…" Killian said finally, taking one last look out the door but there was nothing to see. Emma was gone. He took his fist off the wall, feeling his knuckles starting to bruise as he moved back up to Milah. She slid her hands around him and Killian smiled down at her giving her a squeeze.

"Who was that?" Milah asked, looking down at the door.

"No one important," Killian said bitterly, his heart pounding through his chest and he push his apartment door open, refusing to follow Milah's gaze down the stairs. She followed him and the door closed behind her.

"Milah…" Killian started but she put a finger over his lips.

"Sh," She whispered, bringing her lips to his and he let her kiss him like he hadn't let anyone kiss him in a long time. He grabbed her waist and she dug her nails into his back. His kisses got harder, rougher, pushing Milah back until they were in his room, on his bed, under his sheets. Milah moaned lightly as Killian kissed down her chest. _Moving on, _He thought, realizing the spare key was still glued to his palm and he threw it against the wall. His palm hurt and he realized he had been clenching his fist around it. A little red outline of the key remained in his palm and Killian couldn't help but look at it. Milah kissed down his neck, fumbled with his pants and fumbling with her own. But Killian kept looking at his palm, his mind somewhere else entirely.

/

"You're brother's an asshole," Emma laughed bitterly, sitting on her couch with Liam roaming aimlessly around her kitchen looking for some kind of food.

"Emma do you ever go food shopping… Like ever," Liam was honestly astounded by the lack of food in her kitchen.

"I have hot chocolate," She said defensively.

"Oh well good. THEN WE'RE ALL SET AREN'T WE?" Liam said sarcastically, pulling out packets of hot chocolate. Emma had done nothing but mope around her apartment all week, going to work, coming home, and dying on her couch. Liam was sick of it.

Emma sighed loudly and Liam threw a paper cup at her. "Can you get your shit together? You just broke up with me last week and even I have my shit together!" Liam shot at her and Emma gave him puppy eyes.

"You're right… I suck," Emma said finally and Liam rolled his eyes.

"No you're actually one of the best people I have ever met and I'm sick of seeing you upset because my asshole of a brother can't keep it in his pants for a day," Liam was pissed.

"Thank you for coming over," Emma said weakly, accepting the cup of hot chocolate Liam was handing her. He gave her a soft smile.

"I'd do anything for you. You know that," He said softly, running his thumb down her cheek.

"I don't feel it, Liam," Emma said, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Yeah yeah. I know. Worth a try," Liam laughed taking his hand away from her face and she gave him a little smile.

Liam's phone started ringing and he pulled it out reading the name across his screen. _Killian Jones _was blaring off his phone and he rolled his eyes. "One second Emma," Liam said standing up and moving out the door to take the call.

"Sup douche?" He answered the phone.

"Well that's one way to greet you're loving brother," Killian laughed through the phone.

"Loving is a bit of an over statement wouldn't you say?" Liam sounded like an asshole ad he knew it but he was so sick of this shit.

"… You're with Emma aren't you?" Killian said pausing before asking the question he wasn't sure he wanted an answer to.

"Yeah," Liam said simply. He hadn't told Killian him and Emma were over and he was kind of enjoying pissing Killian off.

"Oh… okay. Sorry for bothering you, mate. Go enjoy your date," Killian said sounding like he was about to punch a wall.

"You're an idiot," Liam laughed.

"Look, I understand you're jealous of my charming personality, but let's not get carried away here," Killian laughed back.

"Oh god, shut the fuck up Kills," Liam could've smacked him through the phone.

"Alright, what's wrong? On your period again, sis?" Killian was honestly confused on the other end and Liam could be heard sighing in exasperation.

"EMMA DUMPED ME FOR YOU, YOU IGNORANT PRICK," Liam shouted through the phone, hoping Emma couldn't hear him inside.

"… What…" Killian's voice had gotten serious and Liam pushed his hair back. He wanted to punch Killian into a wall for being so stupid but he just sighed and calmed his voice.

"She told me everything… and she picks you. It's always been you, you fucking dumbass and you went and invited Milah over are you serious?!" Liam was shouting but he couldn't care less right now, "Can't you keep it in your pants for like 5 minutes?!"

"She didn't pick me, she gave me my key back… She said… She… What?" Killian was speechless, trying to piece together everything Liam was telling him.

"Yeah? And why do you think she was there in the first place?"

"I didn't…."

"No… You didn't. Fix it. She has always blamed herself for everything and now she thinks that you hate her. Just fix it. You may not care but I do," Liam hung up the phone before Killian could respond. He gave a big sigh and turned around to see Emma standing in the doorway.

"He's an asshole," Liam said, hoping this would defend his phone conversation.

"Yeah… But I can take care of myself," Emma retaliated.

"That doesn't mean you should have to," Liam said, pushing her back inside and she gave him a little smile.

"Yeah yeah," She laughed and he gave her a wink that made her roll her eyes at him. He wondered if Killian would even care.

/

Back in his own room, Killian was slamming his fists against the wall. He couldn't go through with it with Milah and had ended up sending her home, with a small apology that meant nothing and some money for a cab. He knew he was at fault, and sipped his rum slowly. Emma deserved better then him. She had come here and heard him say he didn't need her before she even got the chance to tell him anything.

Killian lay back on his bed, cradling his bottle of rum and decided to chug it. "Just like old times, mate," Killian laughed to the bottle, letting the alcohol run through his veins. His head was heavy and his vision was starting to blur. He needed to forget. His head hit the pillow and he knocked, falling asleep in his pillows that still had a linger of Emma's scent on them. He smiled, letting sleep take him.

_"Come on Killian, you're such a wimp," Emma was laughing at him. _

_"Just trying to go easy on you, love," Killian laughed at her. They were 10 shots in and Emma was still standing tall, pushing Killian around the bar. It had been months since they had gone out just the two of them and Killian was happy just to see her. _

_Emma took another shot, letting the glass fall out of her hand. _

_"Whoops!" She laughed, looking at the shattered shot glass on the floor. Killian couldn't stop laughing and she kept laughing with him. _

_"Stop being so clumsy," Killian shot at her, taking another shot of his own making this his 15 shot of the night. _

_"Stop hating me!" Emma yelled back giving him a little shove on the arm. _

_"I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to," Killian scoffed, eyeing her out of the corner of his eye. _

_"Why because I'm just soo beautiful?" Emma teased, flipping her hair behind her back and Killian felt his stomach twist in want. _

_"That's one of the reasons, yeah," He smirked at her, "The other is that you're breathtakingly perfect." Emma held her breath, trying to figure out if he was joking with her. _

_"The only one of us that's perfect here is you, like look at you. You look like you came right out of a Calvin Klein ad," Emma was eyeing him now and Killian looked at her, amused. _

_"So you admit it?" He teased, putting his arm around her waist. He was bolder with the alcohol in his veins and he could tell she felt the same. _

_"Admit what?" Emma asked innocently, slipping her hands around his neck. _

_"That you're attracted to me, of course," He laughed, giving her that devilish grin and watching her bite her lip softly. It drove him mad. _

_"Only if you admit it first, sailor," She dared him, meeting his bright blue eyes and looked at her completely seriously. _

_"How could anyone not be attracted to you Emma," He whispered, tightening his grip on her. She could feel his breath on her neck, his heat on her chest. _

_"Killian.." Emma started, making eye contact with him. _

_"Yes, Swan?" He asked, his voice sexy and wanting and she looked at him like she'd never truly seen him before. Emma grabbed him and pulled her legs up around his hips. Killian stumbled for a second, not expecting her to do that. After a second, his eyes started to burn for her, and he saw it in her eyes too. Killian pushed her against the wall of the bar. It was crowded and no one was paying any attention to them, His lips pressing gently against hers. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest. She kissed back harder, more passionately and he pushed her harder into the wall. _

_She moaned softly into his ear. _

_"Fuck, Emma, don't tease me like this," He could feel the plea in his voice and she gave him a little smirk. _

_"Take me to your apartment," She growled and he nodded willingly, letting her remove her legs from around his waist and pull him to the door. _

_"Are you sure about this?" He asked her as they curled together in the cab. _

_"You have no idea how long I've wanted this," She whispered softly into his ear and he felt his pants tighten. The cab had barely made it to his building when Killian had pulled her into his arms, furiously kissing her and throwing money at the cab driver._

_She was just as aggressive, pulling him to her with such need, such anticipation. He wanted to take this slow, he wanted this to last, but he had waited so long for this and he wanted her so badly. _

_They barely made it to his bed when she slipped off her red lacey panties and Killian raised his eyebrows at her. She put a finger to her lips and gave him a little wink, slipping them into his pocket. He felt his breath catch in his throat._

_Killian through his jacket down on the ground and unbuttoned his shirt, feeling Emma's gaze on his chest as he did so. She was wearing that damn black leather dress hat made Killian's insides curl she looked so beautiful. He wanted to rip it off her body and kiss every last inch. But he took his time taking it off her, letting his eyes wander around her perfect body as the dress fell to the floor. She was breath taking. _

_Emma slipped her thighs around him and pushed him forward on the bed. Killian licked his lip and her eyes gleamed as he did so. _

_"God you are sexy," Emma growled, letting her teeth sink into his neck. Her lips lightly grabbing at his stubble. He felt her hands through his chest hair. He couldn't take it anymore. _

_Flipping Emma over so he was the one on top he pulled her bare legs around his body, letting his pants fall easily to the floor. Emma's mouth hung open as Killian's boxers fell with them and he gave her a little smirk. Her legs tightened around his hips and he slipped his fingers down her chest and into her, hearing a little gasp escape her lips. _

_"Fuck Killian, don't tease me like that," She whispered. _

_"I would never leave you wanting Emma," He growled back, pushing his hips into hers. She wanted him so bad. _

_"Are you sure about this love," He asked, making sure to wait for her nod of agreement. She gave him a little smirk and pushed him into her. _

_"Fuck Emma!" Killian shouted, feeling every pleasure he could from her. She let her mouth open just a little and he pushed his mouth to hers, pressing their bodies together and moving hard into her until she was moaning into his mouth. Killian lowered his head, licking down her chest and onto her breasts, feeling her nipples between his teeth, still pushing into her. _

_"You are so fucking gorgeous Emma," He looked at her and she bit her lip, looking down at his body. _

_"Shut up Jones," She smirked a little and he smirked back, pushing hard into her, letting her feel how deep he could go. Emma gasped, "Fuck Killian, that feels good," She shouted, digging her nails into his back. Killian felt the pleasure between them building, his heart beating faster, and her moans egging him on until.. "Yes, Yes Emma, fuck!" Killian growled and he looked down at her to see she felt the same. Her pelvis pushed up towards him, letting them both cum together. _

_Killian pushed out of her, breathing deeply and looking down at Emma, still lying naked in his bed. _

_"Sleep with me…" She whispered, pulling him back up to her. He responded gently, pulling her arms around his neck and kissing her passionately so her leg wrapped around his naked body. _

_"Anything for you, Emma," He whispered. _

Killian woke with a start, every memory of that night rushing back to him and he felt his heart pounding hard through his chest. Killian rubbed his hands into his face, his body dripping with sweat from his dream. He remembered.


	7. McGovern's

His heart was beating out of his chest. The rum was still moving around his system and he felt himself swaying back and forth in his room trying to focus on his phone. It started ringing.

"EMMA?!" He yelled answering the phone quickly.

"LIAM!" Liam yelled back and Killian gave a huge groan, flopping back on his bed.

"Dude, pull yourself together… Are you drunk right now?" Liam asked.

"Perhaps," Killian responded, giving a little smirk to his empty room.

"Oh god, I'll be right over. Can't one of you learn to take care of yourselves?" Liam sounded annoyed and Killian was hurt.

"I can take care of myself mate, no need to come over," Killian responded.

"Yeah like I haven't heard that one before," Liam laughed hanging up the phone.

A half hour later Killian found himself on the couch while Liam put Iron Man into the DVD player.

"I don't know where I am," Killian laughed looked confusingly around, his head was spinning like crazy and he took another swig of rum.

"Great," Liam said sarcastically, grabbing the bottle of rum away from him.

"Heyyy," Killian reached for it and Liam pushed his face down into the sofa.

"Emma's incredible in bed… did you know that?" Killian laughed.

"Please, for the love of god, stop," Liam blocked his ears trying to drown out Killian's cry.

"I have to win her back. I just have to," Killian's jaw clenched and Liam sighed heavily into a pillow.

"Okay well good luck with that," Liam responded not really giving a shit about what Killian had to say, "Maybe things would be better if you just… let her go."

"Why the bloody hell would I do that?" Killian shot back.

"Because all you've ever done is hurt her, seeing as she's liked you since she was 16 and grew up having to watch you bring home a different damn girl every night until one day you decided to bring her home!" Liam shouted at him.

"Hey I liked her, too… you… you stole her from me!" Killian suddenly yelled. Liam rolled his eyes.

"No you said you cared about her and then slept with a million other girls. So yeah… She deserved better… but she still wants you," Liam said clenching his fists a little, "So pick yourself up. If you want her, then win her. But she's going on a date this weekend… Figured I'd warn you," Liam yelled back.

Killian was staring at him, his mouth hanging open trying to process everything his brother was saying. "She liked me too…?" He said finally.

"… You're an idiot," Liam laughed, hitting Killian on the head. Killian tried to hit him back and missed.

"Wait…"

"Shut up, man. I'm trying to watch a movie," Liam laughed, letting Killian grunt loudly while trying to punch him back. Finally he seemed to calm down and lay his head down on the couch staring at his brother.

"Hey… Thanks," Killian said softly, giving his brother a little smirk.

"Yeah well, you suck but I guess I still love you," Liam smirked back.

"Are we going to kiss and make-up now?" Killian teased.

"We better after you left me in bed the other morning without even cuddling!" Liam hit him, laughing loudly as Killian tried to piece together the joke, laughing about 5 minutes too late.

"…Wait did you say Emma's going on a date this weekend?"

"Shut up, Killian," Liam put a finger to his lips, pushing his face down on the couch.

"But…"

"Sh," Liam whispered. Killian would most likely forget this conversation in the morning anyways.

"I could be Iron Man."

"Killian SHUT UP."

Finally Killian lay his head back on the couch. Hoping to god Emma wasn't actually moving on because there was no way he could.

/

Mary Margaret zipped Emma into a tight red dress. It hung around her hips and hung low on her neck. Emma slipped on a black leather jacket over the dress and slipped on some sparkly heels that she knew made her legs look incredible. She hadn't talked to Killian in two weeks. Not about what happened, not about Milah, not about anything and she'd just rather keep it that way.

"Are you sure about this?" Mary Margaret asked cautiously.

"Yeah… Like I've always said, Killian and I were always meant to be just friends. It's better this way," Emma stated blankly. Mary Margaret looked like she wanted to say something else.

"Yeah but..."

"Stop. If you're going to give me relationship advice I'm gonna kick you out," Emma stared at Mary Margaret and she groaned.

"Fine fine, do what you want."

"Also... I need you to do me a favor," Emma said, turning to her friend.

"What do you need?"

"I need you to keep my date a secret from Killian. At least until tonight is over, I'd just rather avoid that conversation."

Mary Margaret nodded and Emma felt her phone vibrating in her hands.

"Emma?"

"Hey," Emma said, smiling.

"Hey, I'm outside I think. Should I come up or do you want to come down here?"

"No! I mean no, I'll just come down," Emma responded. Pushing her phone into her purse, giving Mary Margaret a hug and rushing down the stairs.

"Have a good night! Be safe! Don't do anything stupid!" Mary Margaret yelled down the stairs as Emma pushed the door open.

Graham's mouth dropped when he saw Emma walking towards him. Her hips rocking softly as she moved. Her hands moving through her hair and Graham felt his nerves kick in.

"Damn Emma," He whispered, his mouth going dry. She smirked at him.

"So, want to get a drink?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah. Definitely," Graham looked longingly at Emma and she knew it. He was cute, a nice guy, but not Killian. _Stop thinking about him, _Emma tried to move her thoughts forward.

"So where are we going?" She asked nicely, giving him a little smile.

"A little bar down the road called McGovern's if that's alright with the lady?" He smiled back at her, holding the car door open for her.

"Sounds perfect."

/

Killian drove as fast as he possibly could to Emma's. His heart racing hard in his chest and his fingers gripping the steering wheel even harder. He hadn't seen her in weeks. Liam told him to move on. He told himself to leave her alone. He tried to hide in alcohol but he needed her and he wasn't about to give her up because some guy was taking her out.

Killian parked in front of her apartment and ran up the stairs. He pounded loudly on the door and someone answered right away.

"Killian?"

"Mary Margaret? Where's Emma I need to talk to her," Killian sounded desperate and he was but he needed to find her.

"She's out," Mary Margaret said uneasily looked at his disheveled look.

"Where?"

"I'm not sure," Mary Margaret responded avoiding Killian's gave.

"Please... I need to find her... help a poor lad out," Killian said, being completely honest to Emma's friend. Mary Margaret sighed.

"She's on a date," She said after a second.

"Where?"

"I don't know ... well he said he was taking her to a bar nearby but I don't know the name," Mary Margaret replied.

"How classy," Killian muttered, "Thank you love, I'll find her." Killian winked at her and Mary Margaret clenched her teeth together.

"Well shit," She whispered as Killian ran back down to his car.

Killian had checked every single bar within a 10 mile radius before he found her. A beautiful blonde goddess in red, with her legs crossed facing some handsome son a bitch with a smug smile on his face, his eyes wandering down her body.

Killian wanted to punch the smile right off of his face but he didn't. He had more self control then that. Instead Killian moved easily to the bar, spotting a brunette beauty eyeing him from her seat.

"I'll have a scotch, please, and… whatever this lovely lady would like," Killian gave her a smile that made her bite her lip. He wasn't about to let Emma get away without teasing her first.

/

"Have I told you how gorgeous you are?" Graham asked, looking at her with so much lust that Emma pushed herself back a little.

"Uh… yeah. How about we talk about something else? Like… Oh my god," Emma would have spotted that mess of dark hair anywhere. His jawline tight with stubble tracing the outline of his face. Emma felt her insides squirm.

"What? What is it?" Graham asked, looking around to see what she was seeing.

"Uh, nothing. What were you saying about me being...gorgeous or something?" Emma said distractedly watching Killian flirt with some brunette at the bar.

"Yeah you're gorgeous," Graham said staring back into her eyes.

"Mhm," Emma's eyes were on the back of Killian's head, waiting for him to notice her. Killian turned softly, his gaze meeting hers. His smile faltered for just a second, but then his smirk returned. She glared at him and he gave her a wink before returning to look at a beautiful brunette. Emma watched as Killian traced his hand down her arm and a pang of jealousy ran up her spine.

"And honestly that dress just… like damn," Graham was still talking.

"Oh my god that's so funny," Emma smiled at him, pushing herself closer to him. He looked up at her and she bit her lip.

"Emma…"

"Yeah?" Emma whispered into his ear, slipping her hand onto his thigh and feeling him move closer to her. She snuck a glance at Killian. He was staring right at her, his knuckles turning white around his glass.

"You.. you...," Graham wasn't even speaking real words and Emma held herself back from rolling her eyes. Instead she gave him an innocent little face and pushed her hand into his hair.

"I'm what?" Emma asked, making her eyes look ass doughy as possible.

"I'm just lucky to have met such a woman like you," He smiled at her and Emma felt her smile fade a little.

"I'll be right back, okay?" She whispered in Graham's ear giving him a little kiss on the cheek.

"Oh… Okay," Graham touched his cheek where she had kissed him. She knew she shouldn't be toying with him like this but Killian had come here. He had searched her out and she wanted to give him a show. But Graham was a good guy and guilt flooded her head. Emma turned down the hallway to the restroom, trying to get her head straight when an arm cut her off.

"What are you doing, Emma," Killian growled in her ear.

"Thought you were moving on?" Emma shot back, pushing her face close to his.

"Perhaps I am love," His jaw clenched. Emma leaned against the wall, her eyebrows raised. Killian's hand was still leaning on the wall behind her. He could smell her perfume on her neck and tried to look away from her to gain some control back. She grabbed his chin, turning him to face her. She was done playing this game his way.

"Perhaps I am too," She growled, pushing him off of her and walking down the hall.

/

Emma felt empowered by leaving Killian wanting her the way she had wanted him. She smiled a little, hoping Killian was still watching her from the down the hallway. She turned her head a little to find Killian wrapping his hands around her waist. She stiffened.

"What are you doing?" Emma whispered, turning while he still held her. He stepped closer to her. She felt herself holding her breath, trying to control her urge to jump on him.

"What's the matter Swan? You've moved on right? No reason I shouldn't go back to teasing you," Killian said, licking his lip.

"Yeah? Fine. Me either," Emma shot back, moving that extra inch closer to him and letting her hand move down his chest. She felt him take a deep breath as her fingers moved through his chest hair that was peaking out of his v-neck. Emma gave a little laugh.

"Like I've always said Jones… You couldn't handle it," Emma whispered, letting her lips just barely brush against his ear. She felt the shivers going down his spine.

"Perhaps it's you who couldn't handle it," Killian's eyes met her. Neither one of them was backing down, their lips getting slowly closer to one another. Emma felt herself part her lips just a little. Killian shot his eyes down to her mouth.

"You actually want me," Emma gave a little laugh and Killian's smile faded a little, "Bet you wish you had won me."

"Keep wishing darling," Killian shot back, but his hands were still lingering on her waist and her hand was still on his chest. He could feel her breathing slowly, her chest moving as she breathed. He wanted her. Now.

Emma smirked, "I don't need you."

"Yeah? You sure about that?" He dared her quietly. Emma stayed silent, looking away from Killian's gaze. He turned his head slightly, and lowered his lips to touch her neck. She inhaled sharply at his touch.

"Oh no Swan, you want me just as much as I want you," Killian said smoothly, watching her smirk wipe off her face. He eyed her as he moved their lips closer to each other. She didn't move but she didn't stop him. His eyes flicked to her mouth. She was biting her lip in anticipation and it made his pants tighten around him. He raised an eyebrow at her and she immediately stopped.

"And I need you," He half expected her to push him off but she didn't, she kept holding on to him. Now was the time and he knew it. Her eyes started to close a little as he moved his lips to hers. He kissed her softly at first and felt Emma try to pull him closer.

"And you apparently need me too," He smirked at her but Emma just pulled him to her, kissing him harder. He felt her lips part and his tongue searched for hers. Killian's reached his hand for Emma's neck, pressing her closer to him even though they couldn't be anymore closer if they tried. _Well that wasn't necessarily true, _Killian thought, eyeing Emma's dress that he so badly wanted to rip off her body.

Suddenly Emma pushed him back. "Shit… no this is so wrong," She said, mostly to herself. Killian watched as she pushed her hair back from her face. She looked at him like she was about to say something ad he raised his eyebrows at her. "I fucked up," Emma whispered to herself, "Fuck you Killian."

"Where?" He asked playfully, but Emma gave him a little look and he knew she was serious.

"My apartment. One hour," Emma whispered, grabbing hold of his shirt and pulling him close to her, "And get rid of the slutty brunette."

Killian gave her a little smirk, "Anything for you Swan."


	8. Emma's Apartment

Emma moved back to her seat. Her heart was beating a thousand miles an hour. _Why did he have this affect on you? Why did you tell him to come over? Get a grip Swan. Why did I just call myself Swan?! _Emma argued with herself as she sat back down next to Graham. She couldn't focus on what he was saying or doing all she could think of was Killian's mouth on her mouth, the way her body clenched when he touched her. She inhaled sharply.

"And then this girl Regina was all into me, basically stole my heart right from the moment I saw her but then she kind of crushed it and I thought that was it for me," Graham said and Emma turned to him.

"When was this?"

"About a month ago," Graham shrugged.

"And you're already on a date with me?" Emma laughed.

"When was your last relationship?" Graham asked her, raising his eyebrows.

"Touche," Emma smirked, her cheeks turning a little pink.

"What about touching?" Graham looked at her.

"What?"

"What?"

"Graham?" Emma laughed a little.

"Yeah?" He laughed back, not really sure why.

"You seem like a great guy…" Emma started.

"Oh god you hate me," Graham realized, his eyes growing big.

"No! No. I'm just… I'm not the girl you're looking for. I'm still getting over an ex, too and maybe this was too soon for both of us," Emma looked up at Graham and he nodded giving her a little smile.

"Regina was...perfect…" Graham stared off into the sky, "But damn you are so hot."

"She sounds like a lucky girl," Emma smiled at him, "And uh... thanks."

"Yeah i mean... damn," Graham smiled at her.

"Alright...So this girl Regina?" Emma asked gulping her drink down.

"Yeah. She broke my heart, She doesn't even like me anymore," Graham had a little tear in his eye and Emma's smile faded.

"Hey maybe you could help me get her back!" Graham shouted, extatic about the idea.

"Um..."

"Yeah cmon!" Graham yelled. Emma gulped more of her drink. She was going to be here for awhile

/

Killian paced back and forth in Emma's apartment. It had been an hour and she still wasn't back yet. He wondered if she'd changed her mind. He tried to keep his mind off of her. He ran his hands through his hair, checked himself in the mirror, laid in her bed. _Well so much for keeping my mind off of her, _Killian thought, smelling Emma's scent in her sheets and her pillows. Her room was so bare. There were no pictures, nothing hanging on the walls, and Killian felt his heart tug a little. She didn't let people in here often.

He heard a little click of the door opening.

"Thanks again Graham for understanding everything," Emma said softly. Guess he walked her to the door.

"No thank you for the advice, I'm going to give her a call when I get home... and if

i need you I'll give you a call?," He heard Graham laugh a little.

"You're a great girl Emma."

Killian rolled his eyes.

"Yeah of course, let me know how things work out with your evil queen," Emma laughed.

"Yeah yeah," Graham laughed back and there was a silence, Killian guessed she was hugging him goodbye. He heard a quiet exchange of goodbye's and the door close behind her.

"Bringing another guy home are we?" He shouted and he saw Emma jump and turn to the bedroom.

"Why are you jealous?"

"What that he's going to call you to update on his love life? Shockingly, no. Surprised you brought him up here? A little," Killian admitted bitterly

"Oh you mean bringing home someone else when I had plans with you? I would never," Emma said sarcastically and Killian's smile faded.

"You stood me up!"

"You waited like 5 minutes before calling someone else!" Emma screamed back.

"It's not like it was a date!"

Emma scoffed. "You're an idiot!"

Killian stood from the bed, letting the space between him and Emma get smaller and smaller until he was inches away from her face.

"Prove me wrong," He growled.

"You wish I would."

"Yeah... I do," Killian teased her watching a twitch of a smile across her face. Emma hooked her hands on his collar, "Well I always give yo what you want," Emma teased back and pulled him to her. He reacted quickly, his hands moving for her waist and Emma fell forward a little in anticipation.

"Easy there Swan," Killian chuckled, holding her close to him. She blushed under his gaze. He lifted her chin up to his face and softly kissed her lips. It was so easy, so right and he looked in her eyes for a second searching for a sense of doubt but there was no doubt in her eyes and he couldn't help but give her a smile.

"What?" She asked defensively.

"You do want me," Killian whispered, placing his lips ever so gently on her neck and feeling her body shiver at his touch.

"I didn't invite you back here just to tease me," Emma eyed him and got a little chuckle in reply.

"Oh I won't love," He growled pushing his lips into her neck. Emma pulled him back and he felt her fall on the mattress pushing them both up to the top of the bed.

Emma felt his hands reach around her dress pulling the zipper slowly down her back. Emma kicked off her heels and let him pull the dress off her hips. She slid her fingers into his pants pocket to pull him to her. Something caught in her hand and she lifted it out of his pocket.

"No!" Killian reached down trying to push the red lace back into his pocket.

"What… is that…" Emma's eyes got big, "Did you… steal my underwear?!"

Killian laughed, "Actually it was more of a gift." He winked at her and watched her face turn scarlet.

"Oh god… I was out of my mind that night," Emma laughed.

"I know and I've been dreaming about that night ever since," Killian admitted, turning a little red himself. His hands were still around her waist, her dress sitting on the floor.

"You remembered too?" Emma whispered.

"too?!" Killian laughed.

"I remembered a couple of days after but I didn't want to make things worse and then when I missed our sailing date I tried to make up for it by getting in your bed… but I didn't remember giving you those!" Emma admitted sheepishly.

"You… Oh my god," Killian stiffened above her and Emma wondered if he was upset. Instead a huge smile broke out on his face.

"You naughty girl," He whispered and Emma just gave him a little smirk, pulling his shirt down so she could reach his lips.

"Keep them," She whispered, pushing the red lace further into his pocket.

"Oh I was planning on it," He chuckled pushing his hands up her back and unhooking her bra. She let the straps fall easily off her shoulders and felt Killian's gaze on her chest.

"You are a sight for sore eyes Swan," He smirked at her, pushing his fingers to her breasts and tugging a little at her nipple. Emma bit her lip a little and felt his gaze on her mouth.

"Shit Emma," He breathed, ripping his shirt from his chest while Emma fumbled with his pants. He pushed his clothes to the floor climbing back on top of her, slowly this time. He felt her hands moving through his chest hair. They were warm and soft and he relished in her touch, moving his own hands down her stomach and between her legs. She moaned a little and he raised his eyebrows at her, pushing his hand below her panties and feeling how ready she was. She wanted him and he knew it.

His fingers went first, pushing into her so he could watch how she reacted. Her back arching up from the bed, pushing her pelvis closer to him, and that damn mess of curls falling over her chest making her look like a god. She gasped a little as he started to move and he gave a little smirk.

"Do you like that love?" He teased and Emma nodded below him. Slowly he dragged her out of her panties. Killian turned to toss them on the ground and felt Emma's hands sliding into his boxers. She gripped her fingers around him and moved her hand. He let a groan escape his lips, his jaw clenching trying to keep his composure. He knew he couldn't with her. She ripped off his boxers and he pushed her back on the bed, kissing her roughly up her chest and pulling her legs around him. Emma heard the tear of plastic and Killian grunting on top of her and she spread her legs wide for him. She wanted him, she needed him.

Suddenly he was pushing into her and she gasped, clawing her nails into his back and he gazed down into her eyes. Those damn blue eyes making her insides melt. He felt hot against her skin, his hands rubbing down her back and grabbing her ass pushing her down and moving himself inside her. Emma let her head fall back and let his lips graze her neck. His hands moved to her nipples, twisting a little to tease her. His chest hair was moving against her body and the heat between them was building. Emma felt her heart racing, her mouth open as she begged him to go harder, faster, to fuck her like she's never been fucked before and he took every request. He moved harder, making her feel every movement in her, every touch in her hair, every kiss down her body.

Holding her hips he thrust himself as deep as he could go and Emma screamed out in pleasure. "Fuck Emma!" Killian growled trying to contain himself. He moved his fingers between her legs, still fucking her like there was no tomorrow. She whispered his name as she reached climax.

"Yes love," He growled the two of them moving as one, her body hanging on to him. He groaned as he came in her, hearing her voice moaning his name. She shattered around him and he felt satisfaction running through his whole body.

"Oh fuck...," Killian looked up at the beauty before him. Emma's hair was a mess, her face a little stunned but beyond pleasured, her body bare and red and clawed. She looked thoroughly fuck and Killian smiled. He tossed the condom away and pushed himself closer to Emma. He moved his arm around her letting her move into him, cuddling on his side. They both breathed heavily against each other. Killian's fingers sliding down her hair and Emma closed her eyes, feeling every touch of him on her skin.

"I should probably put something on, huh?" Emma laughed, looking down at her bare ass against him.

"Absolutely not," Killian said looking hurt and pulling her closer to him. She laughed. "After that? No I am not letting you get dressed ever."

"Why? Afraid I'll run off in the middle of the night?" Emma teased.

"I'd have to punish you if you did," Killian smirked at her and she inhaled deeply.

"You shouldn't have this effect on me. You're my best…"

"Piece of ass you've ever had the pleasure of sinking into you? Yeah that's what I thought," Killian whispered, still holding his arms around her.

"Oh god… We're so screwed," Emma laughed, covering her face.

"Emma… Give me a chance… I…" Killian wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to say that she was the one but it was way too soon for that and he knew she would run if he did. He felt himself look away from her and she turned him back.

"I am. If you'll give me a chance. I've been falling for you for 8 years," Emma admitted.

"Me too," Killian said back, letting her lips touch his and he pulled her closer.

"Stay here tonight," She whispered.

"Of course," He whispered back. Emma laid her head on his chest and Killian felt himself feeling more content then he had in years. He ran his hands through her hair until she fell asleep in his arms and he held on tight.

"I'm here Emma… I'm here," He whispered, letting his eyes close.

/

_A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading this! I'm loving all the reviews and follows and the story is only going to get more juicy from here! I'm still working on my M rated material so idk if this is up to everyones standards but ya know. Shit will get better. Lots of drama ahead because I love it that way! Thanks guys! _


	9. Waves and Rain

Emma opened her eyes, rubbing them to wake them up. She turned around in the bed to find it empty. A little indent could be seen in her pillows from where Killian had been sleeping. He had held her all night with Emma's ass pressed against his pelvis and Emma blushed at the memory of being woken up at 3 in the morning for round two. She laughed a little. She knew he would leave, he always left it was just who Killian Jones was: a one night stand.

She sighed a little and pushed herself out of bed. Throwing on the t-shirt she had stolen from Killian and a fresh pair of underwear she moved into the kitchen to make some coffee to find a cup already waiting for her on the counter.

"Good morning Swan," Killian smiled at her from the other side of the kitchen. He was only wearing his boxers and Emma realized he didn't have any other clothes here. _Damn he is going to be the death of me, _She thought trying to stop her eyes from travelling down his body.

Killian, on the other hand, had no problem eying hers.

"Eh… Nice shirt," Killian mentioned, walking closer to her to inspect it, "I don't believe I wore this last night… In fact I have a very clear memory of you wearing this shirt while lying on the floor of my apartment…" Killian raised his eyebrows, leaning easily against the counter.

"You weren't the only one who took a souvenir," Emma teased, "Unless you want it back?" Emma reached her hands down to the hem of his pirate's shirt, starting to pull it up. Killian shook his head, trying to look away from her.

"I have a job to get to Emma!" He growled but he grabbed her anyways and pulled her up so she was sitting on the counter with him between her legs. He looked longingly down at his shirt.

"Did I mention how great this shirt looked on the floor?" He teased, pulling it above her head and Emma laughed, biting her lip and pulling him closer with her finger.

"Did I mention how great I look on the floor?" Emma raised her eyebrows. That wiped the smirk off of Killian's face. He looked at her shocked for a second and then chuckled, "Guess we'll have to test that theory out."

Killian threw Emma onto the floor, their clothes being scattered across the room, her moans getting louder turning him on even more. Killian felt himself let out a little laugh. This is all that he wanted: her.

/

Emma sat at the side of her class, letting a public speaker (a retired Boston police officer) speak about what it means to be a cop. Graham sat in the back row holding onto a girl's hand and Emma wondered if that was Regina. Her dark features and bright red lips honestly did remind her of an evil queen but there was something soft in her face. Graham made eye contact with her and gave her a little smile. She smiled back. She was happy for him. Her gaze again fell on Regina and the girl's eyes were glaring at her like she was the ultimate punishment. Emma rolled her eyes. _Great, _She thought,_ just what I need, another crazy CJ major wanting to slash my throat._

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and Emma snuck a peak to see Killian's name flash across the screen.

**You were right. You do look great on the floor. **

**-K**

Emma covered her mouth so she wouldn't laugh.

**You aren't so bad yourself, captain. **

**-E**

**Captain huh? **

**-K**

**Well you do love your boats. Lol**

**-E**

**Speaking of which, 5 o'clock good for you tonight? I'd like to show you how much of a captain I really am ;)**

**-K**

**I guess I could pencil you in.**

**-E**

**You guess. Yeah okay, Swan. Meet me at the docks and don't stand me up this time love, or I'll have to punish you. **

**-K**

Emma felt herself laughing at her phone and looked up to see Officer Wood staring worriedly at her.

"Oh sorry… I… My..uh, fish are ready," Emma said. _Nope that was not a cover. Definitely not a cover. _

"Alright… anyways," Officer Wood turned back to the class and Emma felt herself blush.

**You're lucky you're cute.**

**-E**

**If by cute you mean dashing beyond all reason then I agree. I am one lucky lad. **

**-K**

Emma rolled her eyes sticking her phone back in her pocket. She had missed Killian. He hadn't been happy in so long and a pang of guilt filled her chest because she knew it was because of her. _But that can all change now… I can fix this, _Emma thought. A couple ideas popping into her head and she smiled.

/

"You did what?!" Mary Margaret and David yelled together at Killian's beaming face. He had bathed twice already and still smelled like fish from the docks but he didn't really seem to care as long as he got to David before Emma got to Mary Margaret.

"FINALLY!" David laughed, hitting Killian on the back of the head.

"Wait what?! You knew?!" Mary Margaret looked angrily at David whose smile instantly faded.

"No… No… Absolutely not," He tried to hide his smile and she hit him in the arm.

"Oww," He whimpered and Mary Margaret gave his arm a little kiss.

"Oh god… I didn't even want to throw up at that little display of affection. I thought was… cute… for a second," Killian covered his face, "She's in my head, mate. I'm fucked."

"I think the word you're looking for is happy," Mary Margaret smiled slipping her hands around David who smiled brightly down at her, "things only get better from here. You'll see." Killian looked at David for a confirmation and he nodded.

"I've never seen you so infatuated with a girl before… It's a good thing man. Keep her," David looked seriously at Killian.

"Of course I'm going to…"

"No. You always run. You get too close to someone and then you bolt and Emma does the same and if you turn on each other you're both going to be unhappy. Don't be an idiot," David smacked him again and Killian threw him a little punch back.

"I'm a big boy mate," Killian laughed, "I know how to keep a woman." He smirked at David but they both knew Killian had absolutely no clue what he was doing.

"Yeah you're fucked," David laughed. Mary Margaret shot him a look and he shrugged at her. She rolled her eyes but ignored the two of them. "Idiots," she muttered and David swatted her with a towel.

"Oh you want to go? Right now?" Mary Margaret turned, hitting David with a dish towel in her hands. Killian sat there watching the two of them giggle and fight and he looked out the window, trying to keep his mind off of the fact that he had no idea how to have a relationship… Especially with a girl like Emma Swan.

/

"Are we serious right now?" Emma sat, stopping short at the pier and looking down at Killian's boat. Flowers were tied across the sides of the boat and lights had been wrapped around every inch Killian could reach. He shrugged.

"It was no big deal," He said nonchalantly, hiding his blistered hands behind his back from all the flower thorns. Emma laughed a little, admiring his work.

"You really know how to woo a girl," Emma teased, taking Killian's hand and stepping onto the rocking boat. Killian untied the ropes from the docks and pushed off letting Emma take a seat at the front of the boat.

"That I do," Killian winked at her and he saw a little blush pass her cheeks. It was a good evening for sailing, the wind was picking up so Killian raised the sails and let the wind take them out onto the water, the waves crashing easily against the sides of the boat. The words _The Jolly Roger _were painted in gold across the edge and Killian touched the words absentmindedly with his hand.

Emma's hair brushed back from the sea and Killian couldn't help but get distracted by those strong cheekbones, those rosy lips, that long blonde hair blowing methodically with the sea. Her eyes met his and she gave him a little smile before laying her head back so she was lying on the deck with her eyes closed, feeling every rock of the water below her.

Once they had reached a nice spot, isolated from any other boats with a nice view of the fading sunset, Killian moved and sat next to Emma. She moved her hand to his and he felt himself jump a little. He wasn't used to this but he felt himself naturally taking her hand, too. He lay next to her in peaceful silence for a little. Emma's head had moved to his shoulder, her hands moving across his chest.

"Why me?" She asked softly, focusing on the movement of her hands.

"Look at you," Killian chuckled, as if the answer as obvious. She whacked him in the chest. "Shut up, Killian," She laughed.

"The truth is I actually quite fancy you from time to time… when you're not yelling at me," He smirked at her.

"Yeah right," She joked back. Killian sat up and looked down at Emma staring back at him. His hand moved to her cheek and she opened her eyes in surprise.

"Emma…"

"Yes?" Emma asked softly, looking up into those bright blue eyes that made her knees wobble.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you," Killian said seriously, watching Emma relax in his arms.

"When did you turn into such a gentleman?" She asked, raising here eyebrows as Killian stroked her cheek.

"Always have been, love, but nice that you can finally see me for the man I am," He gave her a little wink.

"What? A womanizer with a drinking problem?" Emma laughed. Killian held his heart, pretending to be wounded. "Oh you'll regret that Swan," He threatened.

"Yeah? Punish me," Emma dared him, lifting her face up to his and biting her lip a little. She saw the smug grin wipe off his face and he pulled her towards him, pushing his lips against hers.

Emma felt that surge of heat between them. His stubble rubbed across her cheeks. Killian's tongue met hers as their mouths opened to each other. Killian's hands were calloused and rough on her neck unlike her smooth pale palms that held on to his shoulders pulling him closer to her.

Her hands slid down his chest, feeling every smooth curve of his body and the dark hair peeking out of his shirt. She saw his jaw clench as her hand reached his belt, feeling him bulging through his tight jeans. The boat rocked a little pushing Emma towards him.

"Ah," Emma yelled, trying not to lose her balance. Killian gave a little chuckle and pulled her closer to him, holding on to her waist.

"Thanks," Emma said softly. She looked up at his eyes. His hair was moving easily in the breeze, his bright eyes gazed at her and Emma felt the peace that he felt when he was out on the water. She sighed.

"What is it, love?" Killian placed a kiss on her neck and her body relaxed at his touch.

"You're gonna be trouble, aren't you?" Emma teased and she heard him laugh.

"Always am," He winked at her and they both started smiling at each, before Emma raised her lips to his and pulled him down on the deck.

/

The days started to blend together and Emma felt her heart opening up easily to the man in front of her as they enjoyed the honeymoon stage of their relationship to it's maximum. A.k.a Liam was refusing to listen to any of Killian's new stories and Mary Margaret made vomiting sounds on the phone as Emma giggled like a child while lying half naked in bed while Killian made breakfast.

The connection between them was undeniable now and Killian felt himself wanting her in every way possible. He thought about her all day and they'd fuck all night until Emma fell asleep in his arms in one of their apartments, breathing heavily into his arm as she slept. Killian felt his heart beating easily as he held her in his hands and he couldn't help but feel happy for the first time in a long time. He held on tightly to Emma.

Emma even started to realize her kitchen was filling up with food and that Killian had been secretly putting up pictures in her bedroom to make it more homey. She giggled at his stupid jokes and felt herself wanting to curl into his arms and kiss him like they were the only two people in the whole world that mattered. She held on to this time, it was precious and she hadn't felt it in so long.

/

It was a Tuesday when Liam picked Killian up from his apartment. Emma was still in his bed and he kissed her goodbye and wished her luck at work.

"I'll be back tonight love," Killian whispered, giving her a last kiss and turning towards the door. Killian had the day off of work today due to the storm outside and him and Liam had decided to spend a very needed bro day together.

"Don't go crazy," Emma said, only half joking.

"We both know Liam doesn't actually let me have fun," Killian whispered back and he heard her laugh as he walked out to the kitchen where Liam was leaning against his counter. He turned his head as Killian walked out of the room.

"It's fine, she's just sleep.."

"I don't want to know!" Liam yelled. He heard a muffled "HI LIAM" coming from the bedroom and shook his head. "HI EMMA," He yelled back feeling himself smile a little at the sound of her voice. He wanted to be mad at her or upset or something but every time Liam heard her voice all that anger just faded away and he just felt happy to have her in his life.

"You better be treating her right," Liam said to Killian, pushing him out the door.

"Why don't you ask her?" Killian said, wiggling his eyebrows. Liam's smile faded and he pushed Killian a little harder. "Just get in the damn car," He laughed, watching Killian move to the passenger seat and pulling himself into the driver's seat of his old truck.

"You better enjoy our date that I put together," Liam said bitterly.

"I'm sure I will honey," Killian teased pinching one of Liam's cheeks and he swatted it away.

"Don't touch me," He laughed, "I'm not that kind of woman." They both laughed as Liam pulled out of his parking spot and headed into downtown, leaving Emma alone in Killian's apartment.

/

It was 10 o'clock when Emma finally opened her eyes to the day. Her class started at 11 today. _Shit, _Emma thought, jumping up and cursing Killian's bed for being so damn comfy. She ran around the apartment grabbing some clothes she had left here, fixing up her hair, and hearing her phone buzz in her pocket.

"I know I know, I'm coming!" Emma yelled into the phone, shoving heels onto her feet and expecting her boss to be on the other end.

"Is this Ms. Swan?"

"Yes… Who is this?" Emma asked, reaching for her jacket and car keys and checking herself in the mirror. _Not horrible, _She thought.

"This is Boston Medical Hospital… There's been an accident," The woman said pausing between words. Emma stopped moving across the room.

"What happened?" Emma felt herself ask.

"Liam and Killian Jones have been in a car accident in the storm, you are their emergency contact, ma'am," The woman said quickly. Emma felt her heart stop. She wasn't breathing, she couldn't move. The phone fell out of her hand and she stared blankly ahead for a couple seconds not feeling or hearing what was happening. _No, _she thought. Her mind seemed to reconnect and she took off, grabbing her stuff and running as fast as she could to her little yellow buggy.

The rain was pouring outside but Emma barely felt the drops as she ran to her car and slipped inside. The rain was dripping down her face and Emma punched the door shut. _Don't be dead. Don't be dead. Don't be dead. _Emma repeated, hoping to god that they heard her. "I'm coming," She whispered, pulling out of the parking lot and taking off in the direction of the hospital.

/

_A/N: Cliff-hangers man. They keep me alive. Anyways more drama coming just you wait. I'm not really one to put things in my stories that aren't really important to the plot sooo just keep that in mind. I did this for a reason. Take that as you may. Thanks for the follows and favorites! Love them all! It's been crazy. _


	10. Accidents

Emma couldn't process her body movements as she moved through the hospital. Every scenario possible had gone through her head and she felt her breathe hitch at the thought. _They could be…No I can't go there_, Emma felt her body shaking.

"Can I help you?" A woman was sitting behind the counter, watching Emma with caution. Emma felt herself wobbly on her feet, she probably looked as crazy as she felt.

"I'm here to see Killian and Liam Jones. They were in a car crash I'm their emergency contact," Emma didn't know how she was able to even speak with her mind going a million miles an hour but the woman behind the desk took a deep breath, understanding the situation. "Killian Jones is in Emergency surgery, the car crushed the whole left side of his body between the air bag and his seat," The woman spoke with no emotion behind it, just stating facts. Emma felt the tears prick behind her eyes. _Emergency surgery?_

"Liam Jones has been in and out of consciousness, we've been trying to get him in for a proper CT scan but our staff is running low at the moment but he is awake and should make a full recovery," Another woman said behind the counter. She was wearing scrubs and had a mask hanging from her neck that made Emma believe she was the one checking up on him.

"May I see him?" Emma asked quietly and the woman nodded, leading the way into the back of the hospital and into a closed off room. Liam was lying in a bed, still wearing the clothing he had on earlier. His eyes were fluttering open and closed but he looked up when Emma rushed through the door.

"Emma?" Liam smiled weakly, holding out his hand. Emma reached out a hand for him and he took it.

"Oh thank god you're alive. I don't know what I would have done without you," Emma's tears had turned into sobs and she held on tighter to Liam, "I thought... I didn't know," Emma tried to pull herself together.

"Ah, watch it," Liam clenched his jaw grabbing his side in pain. Emma looked down at his side. She turned to get the nurse but she was gone.

"What's wrong?" She held his hand over his side.

"Nothing. Just some pain in my side. I'm sure I'm fine," Liam tried to give her a little smile. Emma sat next to him, still holding his hand. Liam squeezed it harder holding on tight. Emma kept crying, she couldn't even help it. _He's alive. Pull yourself together, _but she couldn't. Liam reached over and lifted up her chin.

"It's going to be okay Emma," He whispered, letting his hand linger over her cheek, wiping way some of her tears, "Please stop crying darling." Emma looked at him, meeting his eyes and seeing the love and care behind his smile.

"What happened?" She didn't know if she even wanted to know.

"It was raining…We could barely see. I was trying to pull into a parking lot across the street and the car coming the other way tried to stop for us… I thought they were stopping for us. Anyways, they started hydroplaning and the next thing I knew our car was flipping. Killian's arm was caught between the seat and the air bag and I hit the steering wheel… the seatbelt pushed into me and it felt like I was being ripped open but it's only bruising," Liam grimaced and turned away from Emma for a second before continuing. He moved his other hand to his side again and Emma looked worriedly at it.

"I don't know how long we were stuck in the car. I couldn't feel my body and Killian's head was hanging limply and… and…." Liam held back a tear, "Oh god. Where's my brother?"

"He's in emergency surgery. We'll find out soon but I'm sure he's okay… I'm sure," Emma nodded at him, trying to convince not only Liam but herself as well. Liam let a tear fall from his eye and she reached over, wiping it from his face and giving him a reassuring smile. Liam reached up and held her hand there. It startled Emma for a second but then she relaxed, moving her thumb easily in his hand. She let him keep her hand on his face and he just stared up at her.

"Emma… the last thing I thought of… the last thing I saw before the car hit us…," Liam looked at her, he was sweating and he swallowed hard. Emma leaned closer to him and he grimaced. "Oh sorry!" Emma pushed herself back as Liam reached for his side again, writhing in pain.

"Fuck Liam,you're not okay. Where's the damn doctor! I'm sorry Liam I'm so so sorry," Emma was pissed and upset and she needed him.

"No. No, don't apologize to me. Don't ever apologize to me," Liam was breathing heavily and pulled her closer to him again.

"What are you talking about…" Emma looked down at him, worried and afraid at what he was going to say to her.

"You. Emma look at me," Liam said forcefully and Emma stopped moving and looked at him. He had a completely serious expression across his face. A face Emma didn't see often. "You were the last thing I saw before the crash. It was like your face was etched into my brain and you know how they say you see your whole life flash before your eyes in an accident? Emma I saw you…" Liam held her hand tightly and she felt her knees going weak.

"Liam… I…"

"No. I know you don't love me," He looked away from her for a second, "But I love you. I love you so goddamn much Emma," Liam was clenching his jaw trying to make a decision. He looked up to see Emma contempating something too. She looked back at the door and then back and him and he wondered what she was thinking until she reached her hands to his face and pressed her lips lightly to his. She felt his breathe hitch in surprise.

"Emma…" He breathed her name so easily, stroking his fingers through her hair and wanting to pull her closer to him. He kissed her so sweetly, so soft and loving and Emma felt a tear fall down her face.

"I love you," He whispered, rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

"I…I know. I... I think I love you too," Emma looked at into his eyes and he gave her a little smile.

"No...We love each other in different ways Emma," Liam stated blankly, watching her eyes shift between him and the door. She must be thinking about Killian, too. hHs jaw clenched a little but he relaxed it as he looked at her. She wanted to please him so desperately. He saw it and it made his heart ache.

"Liam..." Emma held his cheeks, moving to kiss his cheek but he stopped her this time.

Liam shook his head in disbelief that he was actually stopping her. This was all he had ever wanted.

"Emma," He whispered, feeling her hand is his hand.

"Yes, Liam?" Emma whispered back, letting him stroke the back of her hand, "Don't leave me," He whispered, feeling a tear fall down his cheek. He would let her go, he knew that now. But maybe he could just hold on to her for a few more minutes. Emma nodded, holding on tightly to his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere," She smiled and he relaxed under her touch his head turning slowly to the side as the drugs made their way through his system.

"Sleep Liam, I'll be here when you wake," Emma smiled at him. She pulled up a chair and sat down next to him, being sure to keep him calm.

/

Emma's eyes flew open. Her hand was still attached to Liam but there were nurses everywhere. She knew she had dozed off but it couldn't have been for long. Liam's fingers felt cold in her hand.

"Liam? What's happening?" Emma asked a little dazedly. A nurse looked down at her.

"His stomach. He has internal bleeding," The nurse yelled, ripping up Liam's shirt to reveal a huge black and blue bruise the was covering his whole side. Emma gasped and the woman pushed her out of the room.

"No! I can't leave him!" Emma held on tightly to his hand and felt a little resistance in Liam's hand.

"Emma?" He whispered.

"I'm right here!" Emma yelled back as she was pushed out the doors. Liam was pushed out behind her and rushed down the hall. Emma tried to follow but another nurse stopped her. "I'm sorry. This is as far as you can go. We will take care of the rest," The woman nodded at Emma and she felt her tears coming back, pricking her eyes. She slammed the wall.

"When will they be out!?" Emma said a little too forcefully to the woman behind the counter once she had moved back to the waiting area. The woman jumped.

"It could be hours Ms….."

"Swan. Emma Swan," Emma crossed her hands across her chest, looking at the floor or the ceiling, basically anywhere but the two doors that she knew her boys lay behind.

"Ms. Swan, maybe you should go home. We'll call you with any changes," The woman reached comfortingly for Emma but Emma moved away. She didn't need comfort from a stranger.

"I'm not leaving," She shot back.

"It will be hours before you hear anything... You should get some rest," The woman whispered back.

"Fine," She turned on her heel and moved through the door. She didn't want to go home. She couldn't be alone. She just couldn't but she wasn't going to make an idiot of herself in front of that damn woman judging her from behind the counter.

/

Emma smiled a little as she wandered the nautical shop, searching for the right gift. She found it, hidden behind a row of glasses covered with pictures of the sea. The stuffed seagull sat eyeing her. It was horribly tacky and Emma laughed as she picked it up. Killian would love it. _Killian, _Her heart dropped a little. She didn't know why she kissed Liam… Why she had left him in the first place when he loved her so deeply and she just ripped his heart out like it meant nothing. She didn't understand anything except the thought of losing either of them broke her heart into a million pieces and she needed them to be okay and she needed them with her. _God I am so stupid, _Emma shut her eyes wondering why she always ruined a good thing.

Emma rubbed her hand down her cheek. She wanted so desperately to be in love with Liam.. To make him happy. And yet as much as she wanted to believe that, it didn't make it true. Liam would never let her be unhappy, even if it meant making himself happy. Emma felt the tears pricking at her eyes. She couldn't lose him. She just couldn't. He had stood up for her, he had let her leave so that she could be happy. _Maybe I do love Killian, _Emma thought, a sense of dread in her stomach. They had never talked about love. Emma didn't even know what they were and she was about to lose him. She was about to lose both of them. She clenched her fist around the ugly bird and brought it up to the clerk.

"That'll be 40 dollars," The woman said brightly.

"40 dollars?! No one would ever possibly want this!?" Emma screamed back looking at the ugly ass seagull in her hands.

"Ma'am if you can't afford it. Please put it back. I don't make the prices," The woman backed up a little from Emma and she rolled her eyes.

"It's for my friend who's in the hospital right now. He loves the sea," Emma whispered, staring at the stupid bird and feeling oddly attached to it. She handed over the 40 dollars.

"You're a very good friend," The woman smiled encouragingly but took the 40 dollars from Emma's hands. She rolled her eyes again, grabbing the seagull and heading back to the hospital.

/

"Ms….Swan?" A doctor looked around expectantly in the waiting room. Emma held up her seagull. "Yes?!" She yelled, standing up. The doctor raised her eyebrows at the seagull. "Uh… are you the Jones's family?"

"I'm all they have," Emma responded, moving closer. The doctor was avoiding her eyes and Emma knew that look. The way she looked down at the floor and seemed to take a deep breathe.

"Who." Emma stated blankly. She knew that look too well. Someone was dead.

"Liam Jones…I'm," The woman looked away from Emma's face.

"No," Emma yelled.

"Ma'am I'm sorry but..."

"NO," Emma felt her hands shaking. The doctor must have known the breaking that happened when someone died. Emma felt her knees giving out. The tiles were cold on her hands but she didn't care. Her vision was blurring with her tears and she held her breath. She didn't want to feel, or think, or be. She just wanted Liam in her arms and alive.

"I'm sorry for your loss," She repeated again, lowering herself to Emma.

"No," Emma said slowly, again.

"We tried to get to him before it.."

"NO. YOU DIDN'T I KNEW HE WASN'T OKAY YOU DAFT BITCH," Emma screamed at the woman who swallowed slowly taking a step away from Emma.

"I'm sorry there was nothing more we could do."

"Don't be." Emma got up, "Don't be sorry. He's already dead and your apology means nothing to me." her head was empty, her heart beating fast. She couldn't be here. The doctor watched Emma make her way out the doors. As soon as they closed Emma let out a scream.

"FUCK YOU UNIVERSE," She screamed letting the tears stream down her face. The doctor watched her worriedly as Emma made her way to her car. She slammed her steering wheel, she kicked her seat, she couldn't drive and she knew it. So she sat on the top of her car and waited for her heart to stop. Nothing would ever be the same.

She was still holding the damn seagull and she looked at it, holding it close and refusing to move. She didn't know how long she was sitting there when the rain started coming down again lightly in a little pitter patter on her face, masking her red and bloodshot eyes. Tear marks streamed her face. Still she didn't move.

"Why me... Why?!" Emma yelled into this air, hoping she'd be struck by lightning.

"Ms. Swan?" The doctor from earlier yelled from the entrance. Emma looked up from her spot in the rain, getting drenched by the minute by the rain. She realized the sky was getting darker around her.

"What do you want," Emma hissed at her and the woman stepped back a little.

"Killian..Killian Jones," The woman stammered and Emma's eye's shot up.

"What," Emma said, making eye contact with the woman who had ripped her heart out just a few hours prior.

"… He's awake," She said, smiling a little at Emma who took a breath of relief. Hugging the seagull closely to her chest she made her way back into the hospital and followed the doctor through the double doors. They passed Liam's room and Emma kept her head down, feeling her heart fall out of her chest. She couldn't do this right now. The woman rubbed her shoulder and Emma glared at her. She released her immediately.

"Here we are," She smiled pointing through the glass to a man laying still in his bed. Dark hair was amock on the top of his head, and Emma saw tat clenched jaw, that dark chest hair, that handsome face but he looked delicate. He looked like he could break at any moment.

"Is he awake?" Emma asked.

"He's sleeping. There was a lot of drugs involved in his surgery... His hand had to be removed," The doctor said sadly to Emma's side and Emma's mouth fell open in horror. The doctor opened the door first, with Emma following her. She placed the seagull down on the little table next to his head and looked down at his arm. There were welts and scrapes and stiches all up his arm where glass had broken skin. Her eyes wandered down to the bandages covering his arm where his left hand should have been. She looked away immediately.

"It was crushed," The doctor started to explain.

"Yeah I've figured that out, thanks," Emma shot back. She knew was being a bitch but she didn't give two shits about the people around her right now, about the people in this hospital who had let one of her friend's die and the other lose his hand. Tears streamed down her face. Killian was asleep, but his arm seemed to drift to Emma, if his hand were there he would have reached her but Emma moved back. She couldn't touch him. Just looking at him reminded her of Liam and she couldn't breath.

"Does he know about...?" Emma asked the doctor, stopping before saying his name. The doctor nodded slowly. Emma looked back at Killian's face inspecting the puffy red under his eyes. She should have been the one to tell him.

"I should have been here," Emma's jaw clenched in frustration and the doctor looked away. She was scared of Emma and she knew it. Emma clenched her fist pounding the table next to Killian but he didn't wake. He was too drugged out.

"He'll be awake in a couple hours," The doctor said reassuringly. Emma looked down at her watch. It was 8:15 pm. He wouldn't wake up for a few hours.

"No... No I can't," Emma whispered to herself.

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked and Emma remembered she wasn't alone.

"I'll be right back," Emma said suddenly, and the doctor nodded her eyebrows furrowing on her forehead. She took one last look at Killian. He was sleeping soundly. She leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you. I'm sorry," Emma whispered into his ear letting her lips touch gently to his skin before moving out the door. She didn't look back, she wasn't coming back. She was leaving and going where no one could follow her. She had never had a home, including Boston, and she could make another home by herself. All she had was herself.

As Emma reached the door she broke into a run. She wasn't going to think too much she was just going to go. Anywhere, everywhere it didn't matter she just needed to go.

It took 10 minutes to get home, another 20 to get everything packed. She stopped at Killian's shirt before shoving it in with the rest of her clothes into a duffel bag she could carry on her back if she needed to. Her kitchen was more stocked with food then it ever had been before and Emma knew that was Killian's doing. She let a little sticky note on the fridge.

_Know that I'm sorry. I've caused enough pain. But I can't do this anymore._

\- _Emma_

She looked at the note and shook her head. Whether Killian found it or not didn't really matter. He would know why she left. She always left when things got too serious or when people got too attached. She took a deep breath and walked out of her apartment, not bothering to take one last look. It was just another house with bad memories to add to her list.

Emma started her car and drove to the airport. By the time she got settled with her ticket to Tallahassee, her watch read 10:20. She knew Killian would be up soon and she let a tear fall down her face before she dropped her phone into the trash and headed down the hall to her gate number, preparing to board her flight.

"Goodbye," She whispered as she walked.

A couple miles away Killian opened his eyes and smiled at the seagull sitting next to his bed.

"She's gone isn't she," He whispered to the seagull, letting tears fall down his face at the loss of a brother, and the love of his life. The bird just stared at him and Killian nodded knowingly. She always ran.


	11. Recovery

_A/N: So I know everyone's like jumping down my throat so I'm sorry about the last chapter! This chapter is also a lot more sappy then anything else and I wrote it very sped up so it's sort of an overview of the next giant piece of time instead of over a couple days or weeks. This chapter is a lot shorter then the rest too, because it just doesn't have to be that long so I'll be posting another chapter super soon. The next few chapters will get back to some more angsty material and some M-rated action so bear with me. Hope everyone's enjoying the story anyways and feel free to comment and follow I love it!_

_/_

It had been a week since the accident when Emma showed up on his door step. She had tried to run away but she knew she couldn't run from this. She couldn't leave him alone during this. All it took was three knocks on the door before bright blue eyes met hers. Bandages covered his arm, his hair was a mess, and his eyes red and swollen. It took her three seconds to fling herself into his arm and no time at all for him to return the favor.

"I thought you would have been gone by now," Killian had said as he held her in his arms, holding her with his good hand. Her hair was a mess around her waist and a suitcase lay behind her looking overstuffed and messy.

"Me too," Emma had admitted. They stood there, looking at each other, until Emma felt the tears coming down her face and Killian's arms around her waist. Neither one was able to speak. There was so much to say, but they both knew every response without needing to ask. Instead Emma looked up into the eyes of the stuffed seagull now sitting on Killian's side table.

"You kept that dumb thing?" Emma pointed at it. He turned to look at it, a small grin on his face.

"That's my prized possession right there," Killian smiled at her and Emma laughed a little, "Some girl gave it to me before leaving me behind." Emma's face faltered a little but Killian kept smiling at her. "It's okay Emma. It's just a joke," He said calmly.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Emma asked softly and Killian nodded, letting her through the door without a second thought.

/

"Emma you didn't have to come back for me. I can take care of myself," Killian had yelled at her after Emma had made herself at home in Killian's apartment. Over the past few weeks Emma had dedicated her days out of work to taking care of him and Killian was beyond sick of it.

"That doesn't mean you should have to," Emma replied pleasantly, continuing to help Killian each his lunch, get dressed, drive, etc. Every time she tried to help him, Killian's jaw would clench, he would scream at her for babying him, and then try and do his tasks on his own which took five times longer and never ended as well as when Emma helped him.

"Cmon just let me help. Stop being annoying!" Emma yelled at him.

"Back off Swan," He growled at her, swinging his nub of a hand at her like a baseball bat, "I may be crippled but I could still take you down."

"Yeah sure you can Captain Hook," Emma joked with him and he glared at her until Emma kissed his arm above his wound and he couldn't help but feel his heart beat a little faster.

"At least let me make my own sandwich!" He screamed, pushing her out of the kitchen.

"You have one hand!" Emma yelled back, pushing him back.

"NO WAY I DIDN'T REALIZE!"

Emma huffed but moved back to the couch, where a blanket and pillow lay for her every night. A little indent had formed in the cushions where she had been sleeping. She couldn't bring herself to leave.

/

It took two months for Killian to start to figure things out on his own, he put all his energy into using one hand instead of thinking about Liam. He could now do daily activities with his own hand, a nub, and a little fake hand Emma had tried to make for him that was more of a paperclip on a handcuff then anything actually useful.

It took two more weeks until Emma decided to try to move back into her old apartment. The door had opened easily, feelings of that day flooding into her system. She had broken down in tears the minute she entered and Killian had hauled her back to his apartment without a second thought, closing the door and not looking back.

"You're staying with me," He had said sternly and Emma hadn't fought it. Instead she whispered a thank you and let him help her close the door to her lonely home.

The minute he saw her on his couch, laying so helpless and alone he knew she didn't need him to love her she needed him to be her friend. It broke his heart but he needed her too, and Liam's memory seemed to loom over them both and sink into their hearts in ways neither of them had expected.

Every Friday became "Drink in Honor Night" as Killian called it, where him and Emma drank themselves into oblivion and toasted every shot to Liam, feeling numb with each new drink. It wasn't the best plan, but it was the best they could do.

"Liam would be pissed right now if he saw us," Killian laughed one Friday night.

"To Liam being pissed at us!" Emma cheered and they clinked their glasses, downing some rum and flopping back on the couch where they could laugh with each other and smile for the first time all week.

/

It took 6 months for Emma to start sleeping again. She slept on Killian's couch until they decided to move a bed into Killian's "office" space that Emma never saw a point to anyways.

"Just move in with me," Killian had begged her.

"I don't want to crowd you," Emma had argued.

"You live on my couch! There are no women coming into this apartment!" Killian argued back, forcing her to move anything of value into her new room.

"You can bring girl's back here don't let me stop you!" Emma had argued back but Killian had to hold back a laugh.

"Take your damn stuff into your room," He said, helping her move her open suitcase out of the living room.

Even still she found herself waking up at night in terror with her eyes bloodshot from tears. She'd scream for Killian and hope he'd come to her. He was always awake too, memories haunting his dreams.

Sometimes they'd hold each other until they both fell asleep in one of their beds. Other times they'd stay up and watch a movie together, letting the bad dreams and memories fade a little into the night.

"I'm sorry I ran," Emma cried one night, holding Killian close.

"I'm just glad you came back for me," Killian smiled at her.

"I came back because I can't even take care of myself," Emma spat, looking away from him.

"We take care of each other," He had responded, pulling her closer and letting her doze off in his arms.

It was only in the dark, when Emma had fallen asleep again, her face finally falling into a peaceful slumber that Killian felt that pang of his heart beating for her still, and he'd kiss her forehead, hoping she felt the same.

"Goodnight, Swan," He whispered, falling asleep into her mattress, the only time he found himself at peace.

/

"I loved your brother!" Emma yelled one morning, screaming at Killian when he had made a drunken comment to her.

"You loved the IDEA of him! He's so responsible and caring and oh what a fucking peach. Tell me how you really feel Emma!" Killian had screamed back, wanting to throw his bottle at the wall, "He knew it! I knew it! You're the only thing stopping yourself from being happy because you're letting Liam hold you back!... How could you think that he would want that?"

"He was everything good in this world! And I let that go...For... What? A womanizer and a drunk?" Emma screamed it, watching Killian's face drop.

"He wanted you to be happy, Emma. I thought you would have seen that. But I guess it's just the fucking womanizer in me that holds you at night and let's you scream for another guy that isn't coming back," Killian actually did throw the bottle this time, letting the glass smash against his wall and walking out his door letting it slam behind him.

"Killian stop!" Emma yelled, slamming her fist against the wall.

/

Emma passed Killian a shot. He had walked out that Tuesday but it was Friday now. Emma didn't know where he had gone and she knew better then to ask. They were roommates, best friends, they were all each other had and they knew they wouldn't abandon each other. Especially not now.

"A shot? Really?" Killian smirked at her, "Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me, Swan?"

"You're already drunk. But it is "Drink in Honor Night," Emma giggled and they cheered, both letting the alcohol burn their throats.

"Remember when this was bad movie night?" Killian asked her quietly. It had been almost a year since Liam's death and still they felt the pain like a fresh open wound.

"Yeah… I remember," Emma said softly. Killian pulled the bottle of alcohol from Emma's hands and slipped it back under the counter. In it's place he pulled out a horror movie called, "Piranha 3DD" with a picture of a girl's boobs covering the cover.

"I was wondering if we could bring that back," He laughed and Emma smiled. It was a good idea after all. That was the night that he kissed her lips again. She had curled herself into a ball under his arm and looked at him with longing and trust and everything he wanted her to feel for him. It was a bad idea but he couldn't stop himself when she raised her chin to him and he lowered his lips to hers every so softly. For the first time in a year he had kissed her and Emma held on to him with every fiber of his being. He pushed into her and she let him. He wanted her so badly but not like this.

"I'm not Liam," Killian pulled away from her, "I'll never be him."

"I don't want you to be him. I never should have said those things," Emma said, looking at the floor. Killian nodded but he returned to his room that night and when Emma woke up with terrors she didn't call for him, for she knew she needed to face this on her own. Instead Emma had moved out into the living room and turned on the food network, sitting quietly. It took Killian exactly a half hour to come join her, slipping his good hand around her shoulders and letting her lean into his arms.

"Couldn't sleep?" Emma asked quietly. Killian shook his head. "No... But it seems to get better when I stay with you," Killian admitted. Emma nodded knowingly and pulled him to her bed with her. They lay there in silence and Emma whispered one last "I'm sorry" before Killian had pressed a finger to her lips and pulled her in tighter, letting her fall asleep peacefully in his arms.

"We're going to get through this Emma," He whispered into her hair, taking a deep breath and inhaling all the lovely aromas that always seemed to surround her.

"I know we will," She whispered back, pulling him closer to her, "stay with me tonight."

"Of course," Killian nodded, letting his own eyes fall dazedly asleep and dream of an accident he couldn't control, and a heart that would never properly mend.

/

Killian had woken again in a panic, his heart racing as memories flooded his mind. Emma's arms were already around him.

"Sh, it's okay," She whispered, letting him cry into her shoulder.

"You have no idea how much I need you Emma… You have no idea," Killian let out a tear as he breathed in a panic and a fluster and Emma lifted his chin down to hers and gave him a kiss on the cheek and running her hands through his hair. "I'm here Killian," She whispered and Killian nodded, giving her a little smile.

And then, as Killian's eyes faded closed again and his heart slowed down, Emma felt it. The pang in her chest that made her suck in her breath and let go of him in an instant. The pang she had felt when she looked into his eyes for the very first time, when your heart skips a beat when you look into the eyes of the man you love.

"No," Emma whispered to herself, pulling away from him and into her own little world. She wasn't ready but that wasn't how fate worked. "Fuck you, Jones," Emma whispered through the dark, knowing he wouldn't answer.

"You wish Swan," He whispered back and Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Always ready with a back up line, even in your goddamn sleep," She muttered, feeling his arms come back around her and holding her tight. If only her heart would stop beating so fast and if only his heart knew the feelings going through her body at that very moment.

"Liam was lucky to have you as a brother," Emma said.

"Liam was lucky to have you as a girlfriend," Killian said into the dark. Emma felt a tear run down her own cheek and felt Killian's fingers brushing it away. "Don't cry," He said, "I'm not worth it."

_But you are, _She thought letting the memories of another day float through her mind.


	12. Moving On

_A/N: Alright so everyone's still mad at me for having her admit feelings for Liam. I'm sorry but he loved her! Either way just because you love someone doesn't mean that they're THE one so calm yourselves. It's just a story. Also this is a version of Emma not the show Emma. On another note, things will get better from here so thanks for the follows and favorites I love it! _

"Think fast!" Emma whipped her keys at Killian who caught them easily between his fingers. "Damn," She muttered, sneaking back into her room.

"You'll have to do better then that, Swan!" Killian yelled from the kitchen. He heard her giggle behind her door. "Uh… Emma?" He said, feeling his palm sweaty on the table.

"Yeah?" Emma opened the door to her room and peered out at Killian.

"I uh… Shit," Killian dropped his plate of sandwiches on the floor as his eyes gazed on Emma's bare shoulders. Her strapless dress wrapped around her waist, flowing easily down her hips and out to her feet. Emma raised her eyebrows.

"See something you like?" she laughed. Killian hid himself behind the counter trying to cover up his arousal.

"Emma. Please for the love of god. Put some pants on," He looked seriously at her and her smile faded a little.

"So is that a no to this dress? I thought it might make me feel better if I… dressed up… went out… I don't know, now it sounds stupid," Emma wiped her hair away from her face and he saw her eyes falling on the floor below her.

"No no you look.., lovely, Swan. Who's the lucky guy?" He raised his gaze to her, lingering on her long legs before turning his head away. _Fuck, _He thought.

"No guy. Just me… and Mary Margaret… so… ya know. It'll be awful," Emma realized.

"I'm sure it won't be awful," He rolled his eyes and she looked at him like, _Are we kidding?_

"What if I join you?" The words left his mouth before he could truly think about what he was asking. Her eyes shot up at the question.

"You want to come out with me and Mary Margaret?" Emma asked quizzically.

"Why? Don't you want me?" Killian laughed and he saw Emma blush.

"I mean… if you want to," Emma rolled her eyes and moved back into her room.

"I think you mean since you want me to?" He yelled. He heard the door open a little.

"You wish Jones," She laughed back this time slamming the door behind her.

"You won't regret it Swan!" Killian yelled and he heard Emma sigh from behind her door.

/

It was just after 10 when Emma and Killian met up with Mary Margaret at McGovern's.

"Hm… This place looks familiar," Killian whispered sarcastically and he felt Emma's elbow in his rib.

"Shut up."

"Alright. Well that was rude," Killian snuffed at her.

"Hey guys! Over here!" Mary Margaret was seated at a table with David's arm snuggled around her shoulders.

"Hey guys…" Emma waved at them. She looked nervously at Killian, "Sorry I didn't realize she was bringing a date."

"I'm sure she didn't realize that _you_ were bringing a date," He winked at her and he felt another elbow in the ribs. "You'll have to stop touching me like that love," Killian laughed holding his a side where she had hit him.

The four of them sat around the table, ordering drinks and making small talk. Emma noticed Killian smiling brightly and felt a smile creep across her own face. It had been awhile since either of them had been able to truly smile.

"Having fun?" She asked him and he turned to her.

"I'm always having fun with you love," He smiled at her before turning back to David, who seemed to be very enthralled in the gradient color change of his drink.

She felt a hand rubbing her shoulder and turned to face Mary Margaret, who was looking at her with a caring and worried expression.

"Emma…Are you okay?" She whispered, still rubbing her shoulder. Emma pushed her arm off her, the smile fading from her face.

"Please don't. Not today… Can we just make today about something other then _him_," Emma said, draining her drink down her throat.

"Looks like it already is," Mary Margaret raised her eyebrows at Killian who was sitting precariously close to Emma.

"What does that mean?" Emma spat at her.

"It doesn't mean anything Emma. I just don't want you getting yourself hurt or anything. I'm glad you have each other."

Emma felt her jaw clenching. "I don't like Killian," She whispered.

"You did…"

"Yeah I did okay?!" Emma said a little too loudly and she looked over to make sure Killian was still entwined in his conversation with David. He was.

"You said he was the one Emma," Mary Margaret looked at her confused.

"Yeah and then.."

"And then what? Liam said he loved you and you wanted to love him back?!"

Killian looked over at the sound of Liam's name and Emma felt her face flush.

"You know I can't do this to him," Emma felt herself holding back a tear and pushed her self up from the table and up to the bar.

"Can I have two shots of bacardi?" She asked the bartender and he smiled at her.

"One for you and one for your date?" he asked.

"No. Why? Do you think he wants one?" Emma looked confusingly at him and he just laughed pouring some vodka into two shot glasses She tossed them back and asked for another. She could feel her head getting woozy when the light touch of a hand reached for her shoulder.

"I told you to stop!" She turned, expecting Mary Margaret to be standing behind her but Killian was the one facing her. He looked concerned at the drink in Emma's hand and pulled it slowly out of her grasp.

"Killian… I think I should go," Emma pushed him back a little and Killian took her shot off the bar again and drained it down his own throat.

"Not before a dance," Killian smirked at her and dragged her onto the dance floor.

"I'm drunk," She groaned.

"Yes, you are," Killian laughed. His hand slipped easily around her waist. Emma protested for a second but then must have had a change in heart because Killian felt her hands sliding behind his neck, pulling him closer to her.

"Fine. One dance because you're handsome as hell and I hate my life," Emma smiled at him and he raised his eyebrows, "What no sarcastic comment?"

"No I think you've had enough of those for one day," Killian smiled at her. They swayed easily, neither one talking to each other. The music was poppy and awful but they didn't seem to care as long as they could keep moving together.

"Killian… You know why I can't be with you…" Emma whispered, looking seriously up into his eyes. She saw sadness and hurt and every bad thing that had ever happened to him locked behind those deep eyes and she wanted nothing more then to fix every inch of it.

"Because you don't think you deserve to be happy?" He whispered back into her ear, pulling her closer to his chest. She was warm against his body and Killian breathed her in, feeling her pull him in a little closer. He didn't know if it was the alcohol but he wasn't about to let her go.

"I don't think you'd be happy with me. Liam wouldn't have either. I ruined your relationship with your brother. I know I hurt you everyday and I wasn't even able to love anyone … Or appreciate you or him when I had the chance… There's nothing good about me," Emma's face was turning red and she looked around for the door.

"Stop… Stop Emma. You don't know how amazing you are," Killian's smile faded as she talked.

"That's not true," Emma looked at the ground.

"Yeah? You literally look for ways to make everyone around you happy before yourself. Even if that meant dating someone that wasn't your true love, pushing for a couple too get back together when you were on a date with him!," Emma rolled her eyes at that one, "And most of all putting my needs before yours," Killian grabbed her wrist, making sure Emma woudn't walk away from him, "You have worked too hard not to get a happy ending."

"I…I… I am gonna throw up," Emma realized. Killian's grip on her slackened a little and Emma heard a little laugh.

"God you're going to kill me you know that? C'mon I'm taking you home," Killian looked around for Mary Margaret and David, "Stay here."

Killian moved back towards the table. Mary Margaret looked concerned at Emma. "Killian I didn't mean to upset her… I'm so sorry," She said instantly at the look of his face.

"It's not your fault love, don't worry. I am going to take her home though it's too soon for her I think… And I think for me as well," He scratched uneasily at his scalp and Mary Margaret and David nodded at him. Letting him move back to Emma and help her through the doors.

/

Emma sat silently in the cab, her arms were folded into Killian's.

"You do make me happy. You know that, right?" Killian looked softly into her eyes and she looked up at him.

"I can't be with you," She repeated.

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"You.. I…me. Nouns are confusing right now."

"Emma… let yourself be happy," Killian felt the alcohol reaching his brain stopping the filter between his teeth.

"I want to be happy," Emma said, her eyes gazing over Killian's face. That smirk that made her knees weak and her heart pound, "I can feel you… At night, when you hold me or we cuddle while watching TV. I feel that connection every damn time. I feel at home. I've never felt that way before," The honestly flew out from Emma's mouth and she looked as taken aback as Killian.

"Come on," Killian nodded towards the door as they both realized they had arrived at their destination. The door opened easily, similar smells filling their noses as they entered their apartment but this time, butterflies seemed to be filling both of their stomachs. Emma bit her lip, lacing her fingers between Killian's and letting him lead her to the couch.

Her hands moved into his hair and she pushed him back so he was sitting against the couch. She moved her legs around him and felt his arousal between her thighs.

"Stop," He whispered. Emma looked at him, taken aback, "I want you to want this. Not because you're drunk or sad or lonely but because you want this…"

Emma laughed, "I do though."

"Then we'll find out in a couple hours," Killian smirked at her and pushed her off of him. She fell with a huff back into the seat.

"Are you rejecting me, captain one hand?" She asked.

"I'm just waiting for you to sober up because I, unlike some other men, am a gentleman," Killian gave her a little bow before moving into the kitchen. Emma heard the opening and closing of cabinets and groaned inwardly.

"Here," He put a glass of water and some crackers in front of her, drinking his own glass and lifting the remote to the TV.

"It's Saturday right? SNL is on right?" He asked, moving through TV channels until Justin Timberlake's face appeared on the screen.

"He's hosting AGAIN," He looked shocked at the screen and Emma felt herself staring aghast at him.

"Hey Killian… I literally hate you," Emma looked annoyingly at him as he moved back to the couch, settling himself beside her as the show started playing.

He just laughed and moved his arm around her. He picked up the crackers and placed them in her lap and she rolled her eyes but took a couple out, popping them into her mouth with a crunch.

/

"Fun fact, I thought Kristen Wiig was the sexiest woman alive for like 5 years of my life," Killian snorted. The crackers were gone and they had moved on to cookie dough ice cream. Emma laughed obnoxiously. "Well we both know you have a thing for blondes," She smirked at him.

"Hey! Milah wasn't blonde!"

"Yeah… Like I said you only have a REAL thing for blondes," Emma laughed and Killian punched her lightly in the shoulder.

"Owww kiss it better," She raised her shoulder up to his face and saw him shake his head before placing a little kiss on her shoulder.

"Is it all better now?" He chuckled and Emma nodded.

"Thank you doctor."

"Anything for my favorite patient. How is she feeling these days?" Killian asked.

"She's okay. She lost someone she really cared about but she's got the best therapist in town and he's sexy as hell," Emma laughed, eyeing Killian's body.

"Easy now. I might start getting jealous of myself," Killian laughed.

"Seriously though, thank you… for everything," Emma smiled at him.

"Thank you as well," He nodded.

"You know what I really want though?" Emma bit her lip, pulling his collar a little closer to him. Killian's smile faded a little as her lips reached his.

"What is it that you really want Swan?" He swallowed.

"…. Cookies so we can make ice cream sandwiches," Emma whispered seductively into his ear.

"Emma… I… hate you so much right now," Killian whispered back. Emma winked at him and Killian felt all the love and want and need building up in him. He wanted to grab her and kiss her with everything he had. He wanted her in every possible way and needed to satisfy her to no end but he didn't. Instead he stood up to move to the kitchen. He looked down at her, trying to hold himself back when Emma's hand reached out for his.

"I thought you wanted…"

"Maybe not right this second," She laughed, pulling him back to the couch.

"What are you talking about Emma?" Killian shook his head at her and she leaned in close to him. He swallowed hard.

"I think we both know," Emma whispered, letting her lips slightly touch his. Killian wanted to pull her into him and kiss her hard but before he had the chance, she was pulling against him.

She pushed her lips into his, his stubble rubbing against her cheek.

"Finally," Killian groaned, pulling Emma on top of him and pushing his arousal between her legs. She fit easily into place on his chest. Emma moaned lightly. It only egged him on and he reached his lips down to her neck, kissing every inch of in before moving to her collarbone and down her chest.

"Yes," Emma whispered and she pulled him to the side so she could climb on top of him. Her dress rolled up her legs revealing her inner thighs.

"You're not wearing anything under that dress… are you love?" Killian breathed, his eyes roaming her legs straddling his torso.

"Well you wouldn't want me to have panty lines would you?" Emma raised her eyebrows, feeling him twitch between her legs.

"I deserve a fucking medal," Killian laughed, pulling her down so his lips could meet her. His hands pulled at her dress roughly, pulling the top down to reveal her breasts.

"Fuck I missed these," His lips were moving down her chest, his hand cupping her nipple as his limp arm held her in place. She didn't even give it a second look and Killian was grateful for that. He hadn't known if sex with a limp arm would change anything but it didn't seem to affect her.

"Killian… please," Emma breathed into his neck and Killian felt her twitching on his lap. He chuckled and moved his fingers between her legs.

"Is this what you want?" He asked seductively, moving his fingers between her folds. She moaned when he hit her clit.

"Yes," She moaned and Killian started to rub his fingers gently against her flesh, feeling her move with him. Her hands had moved down to his pants, where his erection had gone hard at the sight of her.

"You're so hard for me," She smirked and he nodded clenching his jaw at her touch.

"I've wanted you for so long," He said roughly, pushing himself into Emma's hand. Emma nodded and pushed herself off the couch. Killian felt his heart beating fast as Emma unzipped the back of the dress, letting it fall to the floor. He raised his eyebrows at her and she watched him sit up, unbuttoning his own shirt, slowly and methodically, watching her eyes melt into his chest as he went. Emma was on top of him before he could finish removing his shirt and he felt the rip as she pushed it off his body. He growled at her and pulled her back on the couch.

"I owe you a proper thank you," Emma bit her lip. He watched her flip her naked body around so her legs were around his neck, her head below his torso. Killian moved his mouth to her inner thighs and felt her tense. He smirked, moving his tongue expertly across her clit. Emma moaned and pushed Killian's tight pants off of him, revealing his erection. Killian smirked until he felt her lips sliding down his cock.

"Fuck Emma!" He yelled as she sucked on him, her lips moving on him. He felt her tongue swirling around him. _Calm the fuck down Jones, _He thought to himself, _Two can play at this game. _

His pushed his mouth harder against her and felt her squirm, with his good hand he moved his fingers between her and felt moisture between her heat.

"Happy to see me huh, Swan?" He whispered and he knew she was glaring at him. He kept his eyes somewhere else though, moving a finger into her and feeling her body respond. Another finger followed, and then another and he heard her cry out. She moved one hand between her thighs, her mouth still sucking wantingly on him. Killian swatted her hand away.

"You're not coming for me yet," He growled, and with one easily motion he moved her off of him and right way up, so her face was once again on him. She looked startled.

"How did you…"

"I am a man of many talents," Killian smirked at her, moving his cock over her entrance and feeling her breathing get heavier against his chests.

"Say it," He growled.

"Say what…" Emma looked confusedly at him.

"Say the truth. Say you want me more then you want him. I don't give a shit if you loved him. You belong with me. You belong here," Killian's voice sounded deeper, more aggressive then intended and he held her waist, his eyes against hers.

"Yes… I want you. I've always wanted you… Does that make me a bad person?" Emma breathed. Killian shook his head.

"No love, it just makes you human."

Emma bit her lip, looking for judgement or hate behind his eyes but she found none. "I want you… now," Emma hissed and moved herself down on him hearing him moan. She could feel herself spreading around him, getting used to his size and she felt a moan escape her own lips.

"You like that?" He growled. Emma nodded, "Cmon." Killian pushed her off of him, pulling his pants all the way off.

"What are you.." Emma didn't have time to finish before his naked body was pressed against hers, their bodies interwining against the wall. He lifted one of her thighs around his waist and Emma lifted the other letting him push her back against a door that opened easily.

She landed in a heap on the bed, his erection still pushing against her. Sweat was forming on both of their chests.

"Fuck me," Emma whispered, and Killian's eyebrows shot up.

"Anything for you Swan," He growled, moving between her legs and holding himself at her entrance. He heard her breathing and let himself linger there for a second before shoving himself hard into her. Her head tilted back in pleasure and he started to move against her. The friction making him harder and filling his need, his want, for her body and only hers.

"Yes, Fuck Emma," Killian shouted her name as he pounded into her. The bed shook below them and Emma fisted the sheets with her hands, crying out in pleasure. His lips were back on hers but Emma could barely keep her mouth closed as she cried out his name. She felt herself building and lifted her legs around his neck so he was hitting her as hard as he could, filling her.

"That feels so good… Oh god," Emma cried out and heard him panting above her, his eyes looking wildly into hers. His jaw clenched, his lips dripping with want. Killian felt their bodies moving as one as he shoved her into her headboard, holding her ankles and moving his pelvis just right so they both felt their orgasms building.

"I want you to come for me," He hissed moving his fingers between her legs as he fucked her. He moved against her clit and her back lifted off the bed in response, her hands clenching at his back and leaving scratches down his chest.

She moaned loudly and he quickened his pace against her. Emma felt herself moving into his hands.

"Yes… Yes… FUCK," She came loudly, and Killian pulled himself out of her, releasing himself on her chest.

"Yes Emma," He breathed, feeling the heat between them. Emma gazed down at his body, scratch marks left all over his chest and his back, his hair a mess from their activities.

She knew she must look like a mess but he looked at her with such love and need and she couldn't help but smile.

"I needed that," She smiled a little and Killian moved to grab a towel, wiping himself off of her chest.

"I could get used to that," He winked at her and she bit her lip.

"I'm a horrible person," She said, wiping her hands over her face.

"Well you're anything but horrible in bed," Killian bit his own lip and she smacked him across the chest.

"Give this another try Emma," He whispered seriously, his lips lingering over hers. She nodded below him, lifting herself that extra inch to meet his mouth against hers. "Anything for you Jones," She smirked and he pulled her back on top of him, kissing her down her body and hearing a lighthearted laugh escape her lips. _We can still be happy, _Killian said to himself, _This could be okay._


	13. Decisions

"So… You…" Mary Margaret closed her eyes concentrating on everything Emma had just spilled to her.

"Yeah," Emma said flatly, sipping at her tea.

"And then he…" David chimed in.

"Yeah," Emma said again.

"And you guys…"

"YES," Emma slammed the tea cup down, "Am I not speaking English here?"

"Did I miss a part?" David asked confused, "Why are you a horrible person?"

Emma sighed, "Because I shouldn't…"

"Be happy?" David raised his eyebrows at her.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" Emma shouted.

"Emma… You deserve this. You've both been through a lot and who could understand you better then him? Both orphans… both always thrust into pain… both looking for someone to understand and neither of you will admit that it's each other," Mary Margaret said softly, rubbing her back like a mother to a child.

"I second that," David smiled at the two of them. Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. "Well great David," She rolled her eyes and he just smiled back at her until she giggled.

"Maybe you guys are right," Emma admitted softly, turning away from them. She didn't need to look at them to know their mouths would be hanging open. She heard a little squeal that she assumed was Mary Margaret.

"Just don't tell him anything yet. This is something I have to tell him. I want to do this right… Even though it's already been done so backwards," She rubbed the back of her neck and stood to leave. It was almost 10 and she needed to head to the school soon.

"We won't tell him," Mary Margaret nodded, smiling enthusiastically and nodding as Emma moved towards the door. She turned and made eye contact with David knowing full well that Mary Margaret couldn't keep a secret for the life of her.

"She won't say anything," David nodded in a knowing way and Emma nodded a thanks to him before moving back to the door. She heard Mary Margaret mumbling to herself as she closed the door behind her. Emma gave a little laugh. As much as she loved them, she knew they would ruin something.

/

"Emma pick up your damn phone!" Killian yelled frustratingly, "What is the point of these devices if you're not even going to answer it!"

"Coffee?" Killian heard a little voice in front of him and turned to see a young waitress smiling at him and avoiding his gaze.

"Uh, yes, thank you," Killian smiled at her and saw a little blush creep on her cheeks. He new Emma would have killed her just for looking at him and it make him laugh a little. He picked up his phone again.

"David?"

"Hey! What's good?" David yelled enthusiastically into the phone.

"Hey mate, have you heard from Emma today? I can't seem to get ahold of her and it's kind of important," Killian's fingers felt sweaty against his palm and he smiled graciously at the waitress as she tried to hand him his cup of coffee. He waved his scarred up wrist at the woman and she gasped a little before putting the cup down in front of him. He stifled a laugh, "Thanks for the hand mate," He laughed and she gave a curt little smile before turning away. _Emma would have found that funny, _He thought, before turning back to his phone call.

"She's at work, you love sick fool," David laughed.

" Uh, of course… Right…" Killian felt like an idiot for missing her but he did and she hadn't given him an answer yet to giving them a try.

"Have you talked to her today at all?" He asked.

"Yeah," David said flatly.

"Okay… about what," Killian asked, twirling his coffee with a little spoon.

"How she can't wait to run through a patch of daisies with you as you skip and sing with the birds," David teased him and Killian felt his jaw clench.

"You're a rightful ass, you know that?" Killian said back and he heard David laughing lightly.

"So you're finally going to do it?" David asked

"Yeah. It's about time she knew how I felt. It's going to be good," Killian nodded, feeling a smile creep onto his face, "I mean she already knows I'm amazing in bed it's about time she met the romantic side of me."

He heard David groan in disgust, "Too much info."

"You didn't tell him did you?" Killian heard through the phone and then he heard a "sh".

"Didn't tell me what?" Killian asked.

"Nothing. Sorry… that was Mary Margaret," David replied.

"About Emma!" Mary Margaret yelled.

"What about Emma?" Killian sat up straighter in his chair, worried now.

"Nothing. It's not our place to say. You should talk to Emma personally," David said before hanging up the phone.

"Wait what?!" Killian yelled through the phone but David had already hung up.

/

"MARY MARGARET!"

"What?!"

"CAN'T YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES!" David yelled at her, his phone vibrating again in his hands, "He's calling me back. I can't do this right now!" David pushed the phone into a kitchen drawer and ran his hands through his hair looking at his lovely wife who was avoiding his gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I keep every secret I have," She stated, matter-of-factly, biting her cheek and fiddling with her hands. David raised his eyebrows at her but she ignored them, giving him a little smile.

"It's a good thing I can't stay mad at you," David laughed. Mary Margaret giggled a little and let David swing his arms around her. She screamed as he lifted her up.

"David! Stop!" She pleaded, laughter escaping her lips.

"Sorry. You're mine now, M'lady," David winked at her, carrying her off to their room, ignoring the buzzing phone sitting in their kitchen drawer.

/

Killian slammed the phone down on the table, frustrated and worried. _You should talk to Emma personally. What did that mean exactly?_ Killian thought, wiping the sweat from his forehead and looking at his watch. Emma would have to wait, he had work to do. He took another chug of his coffee and slipped some dollar bills under the cup for the waitress before heading out to the docks, where the fish had been dropped earlier and now needed to be driven out to every market in the area.

It wasn't the best part of the job but it would keep him off of his phone and that is exactly what he needed right now.

"You've got 5 stops to make, you good with that?" Will asked, not even bothering to look up to see if Killian was nodding at him. Killian just stayed silent, slipping the keys into his pocket. Will gave him a nice slap on the back. "You sure you can drive with one hand there?" Will joked.

"Anything I could do with two hands, I can do better with one," Killian smirked and a group of girls giggled as they walked down the pier. Will turned and eyed them, his own lips turning up.

"Like what you see ladies?" He held out his arms, trying to show off but the girls just glared at him before turning back to Killian as they walked away. Killian ignored them, playing with the keys in his pocket and laughing at Will.

"Damn mate, you always attract quite the audience," Will smacked him in the arm again.

"Really? I haven't noticed," Killian looked questioningly at the group of girls that had moved down the pier. Will laughed. "So finally found yourself a girl have ya?"

"Why? You upset you might be losing a wingman?" Killian raised his eyebrows at him.

"Not if yer happy, and by the looks of it she's got you very happy," Will laughed, nodding to a little bruise peaking out from Killian's neck. Killian hadn't even noticed it but swore to get Emma back for that as soon as possible. It made him laugh.

"She's a bit of a minx that one," Killian winked at Will, showing off his hickey before heading for the truck that was being filled with ice and sea life. He heard Will laugh in approval before heading back down the pier to move the rest of that day's catch. It was quieter then usual because of the time of day. Killian had moved his shifts to later so he could spend more time with Emma in the morning, even if she was only laying in his arms, or on the other side of the apartment, it still made his heart pound just thinking of her.

He slid into his seat and started the truck, giving his men a little nod before heading out to make his deliveries for the day.

/

On the other side of town, Emma lectured her class, watching the sun climb over her head as the day faded away. It was an interesting lecture but Emma still couldn't bring herself to fully focus on the class in front of her. She kept her hands on her back pocket where her phone was just in case he texted her. She constantly reminded herself that he was the one waiting for her answer not the other way around but she couldn't help but feel anxious, knowing that tonight could be the night she finally admitted her feelings for him.

It made her giddy with excitement and she had to keep herself from biting her lip in front of her class. "Ms. Swan?"

"Yes?" Emma looked up at a young girl who smiled at her.

"I asked you what you wanted to be after this…" The girl looked a little intimidated and lowered her eyes as she asked.

"Oh… well I'd like to work in the FBI. I'd love to work with murders and sociopaths and see what really makes them tick," Emma smirked at the girl who seemed to nod in approval.

"Why?" Another voice asked and Emma turned to face the girl Regina who's arm was latched solidly around Graham's, her eyes looking vaguely bored as if she didn't particularly care whether or not Emma even answered her.

"Because no one deserves to feel the kind of tragedy that comes from death. I want to stop as many tragedies as I can," Emma leaned back on the desk nonchalantly.

"Have you been through tragedy?" Regina asked again, not phased by the question or whether or not it was too personal to ask in a classroom. Emma scoffed. "Unfortunately it's become a regular routine in my life," Emma shook her head, raising her eyes to the ceiling in disbelief. She wasn't one to share but she had nothing to lose at this point.

"Well I think that you'd be good at helping people," Regina nodded at her, squeezing Graham's palm in her hand and they smiled at each other. Emma nodded back, a little taken aback at the kind words coming out of her mouth.

"Yes well, cops are not heroes. I'm no savior for wanting to help people feel less pain. It's human nature to seek out the good in our lives and yet, astonishingly still human nature to turn our backs on it when actually given the chance at happiness," Emma tried to keep her voice from turning sarcastic as she realized she was still defining her own life, "If you take anything from this class take this, hold on to the good in your life or you'll watch your own goodness disappear." The class seemed to nod in approval and Emma shrugged, she wasn't trying to be wise or profound it was just something she had started to realize and she needed to find the good in her life and she knew exactly where to find it. Emma smiled a little. She needed to make the right decision and she think that she finally knew how to be happy.

The rest of the class seemed to drag as they went through some vocab and laws. More memorization then discussion and the class had all but forgotten the personal questions that had been shot at Emma earlier in the class. Emma looked at the clock, hoping she would beat Killian home. It was important this time.

/

It took Emma 20 minutes to get back to the apartment. It then took a half hour to get the flowers set up and hang lights from the ceiling. She smiled a little when she imagined Killian walking in and finding Emma in the center of their own personally made wonderland. She hugged herself and giggled as she looked around at her handy work.

The nautical themed accents should have taken away the romance of the scene but instead they added to it as a reminder of every caring event in Killian's life that she had forced a cheesy gift into. Emma smiled a little and moved into Killian's room where she started to throw petals on the bedspread, adding to the complete over the top cheesiness of the apartment. Emma noticed a picture on his desk that she hadn't truly noticed before. _It must be new_, She thought, moving towards the picture that came into her view.

It was her, Liam, and Killian smiling cheerfully at a camera in downtown New York from years ago. They looked young and wild, her hair not yet tamed. Emma held an ice cream cone that was dripping all over her pale little hands. She was laughing with Killian while Liam held his arm around her, looking worriedly at the cone that was about to fall out of Emma's hands. Emma laughed out loud at the photo. It was such an accurate description of their relationship that she couldn't help herself from laughing. _Always the adult, huh Liam? _Emma laughed to herself, rubbing her thumb over the picture. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't even be alive right now if it wasn't for you," Emma admitted to the picture thinking back to all the times Liam had actually saved her life. The first was when she set herself on fire, the second time a couple years after that. She had a distinct memory of crying on the bathroom floor, her arm bleeding badly.

She had cut herself on a knife in the kitchen after being told not to go in there and she had been too afraid to tell her foster parents in case they kicked her out again. Liam had found her, her face white and pale, her arm split open with blood pooling on her chest as it spilled out of her arm. She had cried for him not to tell and he had simply nodded, trying his best to bandage her up so she wasn't bleeding anymore. It hadn't worked and he went and got her foster parents who got her to a hospital.

They hadn't sent her away and still Emma hadn't talked to Liam for three weeks after that. She shook her head now, thinking of the memory. She was always the trouble maker, Killian the rebel, Liam their protector. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," Emma said, holding the picture close to her chest, feeling warmth from the picture as it touched her. He had only ever wanted her to be happy. Emma turned back to the room, flowers, candles, rose petals and all, and she knew this was what was going to make her happy. She felt warmth fill her heart and looked down at the picture and she swears she saw Liam smile at her.

/

Killian felt his head hitting the steering wheel in exhaustion. It had taken way longer then intended to finish getting the orders out and doing it with one hand was almost impossible, making him the absolute worst delivery driver on the planet. Still he had managed to finish everything just as the sun was setting over the water of the pier. He moved out of the truck, stretching his legs and making his way down the docks, just moving his legs around from the long drive through Boston.

Will was sitting at the far end of the dock, lying on the wood with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. Killian chuckled as he joined him.

"Must be a sailor thing," He laughed, as he closed his eyes, letting the sound of the waves settle through his ears.

"It's my happy place. Don't ruin it, Jones," Will laughed, his eyes still closed and focused on the sounds of the breeze and the waves and the boats rocking back and forth.

"Same," Killian admitted. His phone began buzzing in his pocket. He groaned, pressing ignore without looking at the name. If it was Emma, he wasn't ready to be rejected yet, if it was David he could wait, no one else seemed to be calling him much these days so he would deal with the consequences. Instead he pushed the phone farther into his pocket and let himself enjoy the sunset without life getting in the way.

Across town, Emma hung up her phone, waiting anxiously for Killian's arrival as she curled up alone in his bed, her eyes feeling heavy. She let her breathing slow as she dazed in and out of consciousness, hoping for Killian to come home soon.

/

The sky was dark by the time Killian made it home but he finally parked his car and moved up the stairs, ready to crash in bed and sleep for eternity. It had been a long day and he needed rest.

Moving methodically through the apartment, he didn't bother to turn on the lights in case he woke Emma, instead he just moved to his room, removing his shirt and slipping on some sweatpants before sliding into bed and feeling a warm arm against his shoulder.

"BLOODY HELL EMMA!" Killian just about jumped out of the bed, falling flat on his ass as Emma shot up a little too fast.

"Killian? What are you doing?" Emma reached for the light, turning it on to lighten Killian's figure in the shadows. He was standing from the floor rubbing his lower back.

"I could ask you the same thing love," He laughed, assessing the situation in front of him.

"I… you were supposed to come home sooner," Emma said annoyed, pushing herself out of Killian's bed.

"Why? What's so important about today?" Killian asked before realizing that David had told her something important was happening, "Is everything okay?" Emma laughed a little at Killian's concern before shaking her head.

"This wasn't exactly how I planned it but life has never really given us a fair hand has it?" Emma gave a little shrug. Killian looked down at Emma, her hair looked like she had curled it, her leather jacket still slung around her shoulders, her jeans a little crinkled across her legs.

"What were you doing in here when you fell asleep?" Killian asked her, looking around the room now, mostly wondering if something was going to pop out at him. He didn't see anything until his eyes reached the end of the bed, where a few petals lay across the bed covers.

"You weren't supposed to see those first," Emma blushed and Killian felt his heart beating through his chest.

"Emma…"

"I guess I should just start explaining. Well I know this will be difficult and we're not supposed to do this and we're horrible people…"

"Emma…"

"But I'm only happy when I'm with you and I've thrown that away too many times…"

"Emma…"

"I just… I can't do this alone. You're my best friend. You make me smile when no one else can, you… I don't know I'm not good at this," Emma fiddled with her hands, looking away from Killian's gaze.

"Emma…"

"What Killian?!" Emma looked up annoyed, realizing Killian was just inches away from her face. As soon as their gaze met his lips were on hers, pushing her farther back on the bed, until they were both in a heap on the covers, her arms tangled around his neck holding him close to her. His lips moved down her neck and she felt a smile spread across her face.

"Emma if you're saying what I think you're saying then you've made me the happiest man in the world," Killian gave her a crooked smiled and she bit her lip sheepishly.

"I tried to set up a romantic scene in the living room," Emma laughed. Killian raised his eyebrows at her before pushing himself off the bed and laughing as he looked out into their living room and turned on the lights. It was a pitiful romantic scene, with strings of lights on either side of the room and some roses across the floor. Killian shook his head turning back to Emma who was looking at the scene proudly.

"I love it," Killian pulled her close to him, kissing her nose, "thank you." Emma giggled and raised her lips to meet his, feeling his heartbeat falter at her touch.

"We can make this work," Killian whispered to her, letting his hands work through her hair. She nodded at him before slipping her hands around his neck and pulling him back to the bed with her.

"I want to try. I can't promise you the world, but I can do my best," Emma nodded at him. Killian's smile didn't fade and Emma felt herself relax.

"I'm not asking you to be anything more then you are love," He whispered against her neck, letting his breath move across her skin. He felt her shudder, "But I think I owe you a hickey," He growled, raising his neck a little so she could see the bruise peaking out from his shirt. Emma blushed. "Oh god, I'm sorry."

"No you're not," Killian shook his head.

"You're right I'm not even sorry," Emma raised her eyebrows and Killian's mouth feel open a little.

"You want me to give you a hickey," Killian growled, feeling the arousal in his pants strengthen at every breath she took.

"I think you know what I want Captain," Emma bit her lip, making his insides squirm with want.

"Oh yeah. We can make this work," Killian smirked at her and hearing her laugh before his lips met hers and they both fell on top of each other, hands moving down bodies and his lips moving down her chest. _Finally, _He thought, before turning the lights off and moving his lips farther down her body.


	14. Breakfast With Syrup

Emma's eyes opened lazily to a bright light coming through the window. It was still early, the birds chirping loudly outside the glass. She yawned and let her arms stretch above her head. She felt a familiar hand on her stomach and turned over, a little smile creeping across her face.

Killian was lying next to her, still breathing quietly, his eyes closed tight from exhaustion. Emma gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before pushing herself off the bed, being sure to be quiet as she moved out into the kitchen. Unlike her old kitchen, Killian kept actual food in his cabinets to which Emma was grateful as she searched for the ingredients to pancakes. Finding a pan was harder since she had to move slowly so as not to make too much noise.

She wanted to surprise him with breakfast since he had surprised her repeatedly with kisses and warmth and a heat that never seemed to end. She felt her own stomach clenching at the thought of his arms around her, his lips on hers, his stubble scratching at her cheeks. She bit her lip. _Later, _She thought, trying to push the idea of Killian's chest hair popping threw his endless amounts of v-necks out of her mind.

She heard a low chuckle from the doorframe as she mixed the batter together and began pouring some into a pan. She spun on the spot, her breakfast only half made and flour covering her hands and face. She felt her cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

His eyebrows only lifted with curiousity, his eyes bearing down on his shirt wrapped around her body, her snug underwear the only thing covering her from his gaze down her legs.

She turned quickly, focusing on making pancakes. "I was _trying_ to surprise you," Emma said frustratingly, raising her eyes to him and seeing his crooked smile play across his face.

"Maybe you should've been quieter," Killian smirked, moving across the kitchen towards her. Emma tried to ignore him, knowing full well that she would have no control once he touched her, that she would need him to touch her more, need his lips on her skin, his hands on her ass, and she cursed herself for feeling so damn much for this man.

"I think me and you both know I don't stay quiet," Emma eyed Killian, seeing his jaw clench under her gaze.

"Oh my fucking god, Swan," Killian yelled exasperated, trying to look away from her, "Can't you let me win this little taunt for once?!"

Emma laughed, "Face it, Jones, You can't resist me."

"Afraid not," He chuckled, moving so he was facing Emma's back as she flipped the pancakes. He lifted his arms around her waist and flipped her easily so she was facing him. Emma huffed a little in surprise and found him laughing at her response.

"Guess I'm not entirely out of tricks," Killian wiggled his hips to hers and she placed a little kiss on his nose.

"Did you just kiss my nose?" Killian eyed her.

"Maybe," She laughed.

"Well then," Killian moved his mouth close to hers, "You lose, Swan," Killian smiled triumphantly.

"Lose what?!"Emma yelled.

"This little taunt of yours. I knew you couldn't resist me," He smirked at her.

"It was just a kiss on the nose!" Emma whined.

"Still counts," Killian winked, pressing his lips to Emma's, shutting her up.

"Breakfast…" Emma reminded him, looking back at the stovetop. Killian pushed Emma away from him and moved to the stove. Using his good hand he flipped the rest of the pancakes off the stove and turned it off. He gave Emma a little bow before rushing to her and holding her in his arms again.

"I'm hungry for something other then breakfast," He smirked at her, his eyes playing through her shirt. Emma smiled at him and pressed herself into him, feeling him through his boxers. "Mmmm, not yet darling," Emma winked at him. She saw his eyes roll and laughed a little.

"You always have to make me work for it, huh Swan?" He whispered before pushing her away from him. She giggled, but it was true, she was starving and they had the rest of the day to do as they pleased, maybe even more then that. They could have all the time in the world if they wanted. The thought made Emma's heart pound through her chest and she pushed it away before it got seriously stuck in her head.

"Emma?"

"Hm," Emma looked up. Killian was handing her a plate of pancakes and some syrup to take to the table, "Sorry, just daydreaming I guess," Emma brushed the hair out of her face. Killian nodded, eyeing her suspiciously but taking his own plate back to the table.

She knew he wouldn't push her more and it was one of the best things about their relationship, neither one of them pushed the other too hard or too fast. Yet here she was, thinking way too fast and way too hard about a guy she just started dating. Like clockwork, Killian's hand was in hers.

Normally, someone might not think of a hand in another as being so sincere or so serious but it was his lifeline, the only thing left of his accident, of _the _accident, and Emma was so grateful for that hand in hers. She gave him a little smile before sticking a fork into the buttery, chocolate chip pancakes in front of her.

"Oh my god, those are amazing. I'm such a good cook," Emma groaned to herself.

"I love that noise," Killian smirked at her and she blushed a little.

"Oh," She managed to say, feeling stupid as soon as the word left her lips. His smile twitched a little.

"Whatever you're thinking about right now… don't worry about it," Killian looked seriously into her eyes and Emma just nodded, avoiding his gaze.

"I care very much for you Emma, I… just care very much. So… Stop thinking so harshly of this… or me… or whatever."

Emma looked up quizzically into Killian's eyes that were looking anywhere but at hers. _Guess I'm not the only one working us out, _Emma thought. She laughed.

"What?" Killian looked at her defensively.

"Nothng… I very _very_ much care for you too Killian," Emma smiled knowingly at him and watched him squirm under her gaze. She could feel the love there, the love between them but she understood why it was so hard to say it this time. This time was different somehow, things were so very different and she knew that they both felt it.

"…Shut it Swan," Killian looked away from her and she giggled again, biting into the rest of her breakfast. "Oh I'm sorry was that funny?" He taunted to her, a little flicker of a smirk playing on his lips. Emma winked at him.

"I think I need more syrup," Killian eyed her, reaching for the syrup with his bad hand and clearly knocking it over onto Emma, who shrieked and looked down at the sticky mess covering her body.

"You did that on purpose!" Emma yelled.

"You're going to attack a one handed survivor for knocking something over?! Harsh," Killian shook his head at her, smiling at the syrup that was now moving down her legs.

"Don't pull that card. We both know you're better with one hand then you were with two," Emma rolled her eyes at the truth of the sentence. He had mastered everything from sailing to cooking with one hand. He chuckled.

"You just look so damn good covered in syrup… and flour… how delicious," He winked at her.

"Really?" Emma raised her eyebrows, "You like me covered in syrup?" Killian shrugged, his eyes still trailing lazily around her body.

"Come here," He whispered, pulling her closer to him.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked. He looked up at her, that devilish smile crossing his face. "I'm getting you clean," He winked before moving his mouth down to her thighs, where syrup was dripping down to her knees. She felt her mouth fall open as his mouth met her skin, his tongue moving lazily around the syrup on her legs. She briefly saw his eyes meet hers and he saw her mouth open in a moan before he pulled her down to the floor, his mouth moving just as painfully slow around her legs, getting the syrup off of her skin.

"Why can you just do this to me?" Emma covered her eyes, smiling down at the man around her waist. She saw him smile.

His mouth grazed her underwear before moving up to her abdomen and moving along her smooth stomach, his tongue moving slowly around each crevice of her body. Emma groaned frustratingly as he moved his mouth down to her underwear, nipping at the corners of the cloth with his teeth.

"Did any syrup slip under here?" He asked her, raising his eyebrows. She nodded at him, biting her lip and hearing him chuckle a little as he moved his good hand to the edge of her panty line, pulling them down slowly and observing the syrup trail between her legs.

"God damn, Emma," He growled, his eyes bearing down between her legs. Emma raised her eyebrows at him. He moved his lips between her, tasting the sweet syrup running down her thighs. She moaned and moved her hips forward, letting her eyes close. She felt his tongue moving smoothly across the flesh between her legs and she grinded her teeth. He looked so handsome, his dark hair ruffled from the bed, his stubble lining his strong cheekbones, his bright blue eyes piercing through her body. She smiled at him.

"What?" He whispered, giving her a little crooked smile that made her knees go weak.

"I'm so lucky," Emma whispered back, pulling him up by his collar so his lips were on hers. He grunted in surprise but he kissed her back lovingly, wrapping his arms around her. The syrup spread to both their bodies, covering them in sticky sweet goodness and she laughed, licking some of it off of his neck. He groaned in response, leaning into her body.

He let her hands wander through his skin and move down his body until they reached his boxers. He raised an eyebrow at her and she felt his breath hitch. She pushed them both off the floor and pushed him instead to the couch, where he sat, his eyes watching her every move.

She stood before him, slowly removing the sticky shirt from her breasts, revealing nothing but bare skin beneath it. Her hands moved to her underwear and she could see him breathing heavily as he watched her undress, the bulge in his pants aching for her. Emma turned and lowered the fabric to her ankles, turning her ass to Killian. He stood and grabbed her ass, unable to resist the temptation in front of him. She pushed him back.

"Fuck, Emma," He growled, falling back on the couch. She only gave him a smirk. Emma moved her hands to his boxers. She felt him twitch below her palm and slipped her hand easily down the fabric. He moaned loudly. "Fuck it," She heard him whisper before pulling her on top of him, pulling his shirt off of his chest. Emma bit her lip in want and he pulled her lips close to hers. "Admit it. You've always wanted this," Killian smirked. Emma's legs spread around his hips and she nodded at him, ripping the plastic from her pocket.

"Prove it," He growled. Emma slipped the rubber down on his and grabbed his shoulders, pushing her hips harder into him.

"I never back down from a challenge," She whispered, sinking her hips down on his cock. He moaned loudly as she let him fill her, straddling him on the couch. She held onto his shoulders, his hands around her waist and she started to move her hips with him. His jaw clenched, his teeth grinding against each other and he clawed at her back. "Come here," He whispered. She felt herself being pushed down onto the cushions, feeling his weight on top of her and he thrusted into her making her moan loudly and run her hands through against his skin, pushing him to move faster, harder against her.

The sweat started to drip down his chest, making his stomach clench at the sexiness of the man in front of her. His lips were close to her, watching her as he fucked her senseless.

"Yes," She screamed out, her hair flipping over her face. Killian smirked at her, moving his hips against her and feeling her respond to him, their skin against each other, her legs spread around his hips. She moved so she could feel the heat between them, a feeling of ecstacy filling her. She screamed his name and felt him pushing even harder until he moaned loudly against her skin.

"Yes Killian!" Emma yelled.

"God I love you, Emma," Killian said, releasing from her body. Emma froze for a second, then sat up fast which ended with her falling from the cushions, grabbing for the edge of the coffee table for support which slipped right out of her grasp. She felt a stinging in her palm as the edge cut through the skin of her palm. She ignored it, feeling suddenly bare beneath Killian's gaze as she lay on the floor, a little drop of blood dripping down her hand.

"You… You love me?" Emma whispered, lying still on the floor. He looked bewildered, as if he didn't even realize what he had said. He stood up fast from the couch.

/

It wasn't like he hadn't said it before. In fact he used to taunt her all the time that she was in love with him, but this was different and it was way too soon. He hadn't even meant to say it but it just came out. She felt so good, her hair smelled so familiar and he needed her, he wanted her and just her and he felt himself say it before he even realized what was happening. Killian ran his hands through his hair and looked around the floor for his boxers. He pulled them on, avoiding Emma's gaze on him.

"You don't have to respond to that. That was…out of hand," He scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly. He dared himself to look up at her. She was still lying where he had left her, her hand lifting to the floor to grab his shirt to pull over her head. Her eyes hadn't left his.

"Your hand," He commented. Emma looked down at the blood, still looking too preoccupied to understand what was happening. "What?" She asked.

"It's hurt," Killian remarked, grabbing a handkerchief from the table and moving to Emma's side. He could feel his heart beating fast in his chest and he just hoped she couldn't hear it.

"Killian…"

He focused on the cut on her hand, wrapping it slowly within the cloth. Emma watched him, letting her palm rest in his. She was shaking slightly and he felt the sweat dripping down his face. He hoped she didn't notice.

Killian used his teeth as his other hand, helping himself tie the knot around Emma's hurt palm. He pulled the knot tight, slowly working on her hand and looking briefly into Emma's eyes. He resisted the urge to give her that little smirk that he always gave when he wanted to tease her. It didn't stop him from lingered his teeth on the cloth just a second longer then he needed to, though, feeling her palm twitch under his.

"Jones…"

"Don't worry, love," He winked at her. He couldn't deal with the rejection right now. Knowing that she still wasn't past Liam's death, that she would never fully commit to him. He wanted so badly for her to prove him wrong, for her to kiss him hard and tell him she loved him back. Instead, Killian gave her a weak smile and stood up, turning his back on her to clean the kitchen table.

"Is there anything else that you..." Killian didn't have time to finish that sentence before Emma flew her arms around him. He looked down at her in time to see her mouth reaching for his and he gladly met hers. He dropped the plates back on the table, holding her tightly and kissing her deeply, feeling her warmth against his body. And then he heard it. A little whisper in his ear that made his heart go soft, and a smile beam across his face. Emma's voice was soft, barely there, and yet he still heard her 'I love you too', that made everything worth it.

"Don't say it if you don't…"

"No," Emma put a finger to his lips, "I've known it since I was 16... I was just too stupid to admit it… I've done a lot of stupid things but this isn't one of them."

He let go of a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and looked into her eyes, looking for a sense of doubt, a reason to not trust her but he knew he wouldn't find one. She just smiled a little at him, and he pulled her lips to his once again. Never once letting his body leave hers.


	15. Dinner Party

_A/N: So this chapter is less smut and more fluff but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways! As always thanks for reviewing and following and if you enjoy any of my stores you should also check out my lovely friend WeBeOnceing13, she just wrote her first fanfic for all the Charming family lovers out there! Thanks guys!_

/

"Don't want to be rude here, love, but you are horrible at sailing," Killian laughed, watching her struggle with the ropes.

"Why don't you take it up with my teacher?" Emma raised her eyebrows at him, knowing full well that he had been thoroughly distracted by her the whole time he was trying to teach.

"You wore a bikini!" Killian yelled defensively making Emma laugh loudly. She looked down at her arms that were tied up in the ropes. She looked ridiculous. She pouted at him and held up her arms. "Help me?" She asked quietly.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Killian asked her, putting his hand to his ear as if he hadn't heard her.

"I know you heard me," She rolled her eyes but Killian just keeps his hand to his ear.

"What?! I can't… I can't hear you."

"HELP ME OR I KILL YOU," Emma yelled loudly and Killian chuckled in triumph as he strolls over to her and pulls the ropes easily from her arms.

"What? No! I was stuck… I'm not an idiot I swear," Emma said defensively while Killian tied the ropes up how they should be. He stopped and looked at her, giving her a face of confusion. "Emma… you are the smartest, most amazing person I have ever met in my life," Killian said, making her smile, "but you still suck at sailing."

"Oh stop. You're so cheesy," Emma blushed a little and Killian smirked at her. She looked so beautiful even with her hands tied up in ropes.

"What… Why are you looking at me like that?" Emma asked him, her brows furrowing on her forehead.

"Nothing. Sorry," Killian blushed, ashamed at being caught staring at her. Sometimes he just couldn't help it. She smirked back.

"Shut it Swan," Killian added, ignoring her smile. Her stupid, stupid, beautiful smile. He moved back to moving the sails, feeling the wind pick up on the water. He sighed and felt Emma's lips on his cheek.

"You're very cute. I hope you know that," Emma whispered into his ears and he licked his lips. She giggled and went to walk away but he shook his head and grabbed her arm pulling her back to him so he could press his lips to hers. Her full, soft, luscious lips that he wanted to have pressed against every inch of his body.

"God I love you so much," Killian whispered to her, his hand pressed against the small of her back.

"Killian…"

"Yeah?"

"We're sailing very close to land," Emma whispered back and Killian looked up, forgetting completely about his focus on the boat.

"Shit!" He pulled the sails tight, changing the boat's direction so they were heading back out onto the waves. He had thought it would be a good idea to take her sailing but he then proceeded to teach her nothing about it, lose focus every time he tried to fix the ropes, and almost kill them multiple times. She hadn't seemed to mind though, and he was just happy to have her there with him. After all, it was his two of his favorite things in one spot.

She breathed easily and laid back on the deck, they had been dating for a couple of weeks now and she had already felt so much happier then she had in a long time.

"Oh by the way, all my work friends want to take us out tonight and I already agreed," Killian mumbled a little, scratching the back of his neck.

_Nevermind. _"UGHHH I HATE PEOPLE," Emma sighed and Killian gave her the face. "Not the face," Emma pointed her finger at him in warning. He continued to give her the face, which consisted of him staring those big bright blue eyes at her and wiggling his eyebrows. She had no idea why it made her feel so damn happy but it did. It never failed.

"UGHHH fine. Fine. I'll go," Emma rolled her eyes at him and he smirked at her.

"You're so smug," She mumbled, going back to lying on the deck, letting the wind blow through her hair and the sun kiss her skin. She loved it out here. She loved being with _him_ out here.

"You're going to love them," Killian beamed at her and she smiled a little at him. She hoped so.

/

Emma had spent the rest of the day worrying about the dinner. She had shoved Killian out of the apartment, forcing him to pick her up when it was time for their date so that she could have time to get ready but really it was so she could freak out without him knowing. She had a feeling he knew anyways.

She picked up her phone, making a call to Mary Margaret. "Hello? Emma?... What's wrong?" Mary Margaret answered the phone after a couple of rings. Emma rolled her eyes.

"Nothing, mom… Forget it. You're already annoying me," Emma rolled her eyes. She hated how well her friend could read her, even through the phone. She was supposed to be a closed book.

"No no! Come back! Talk to mom!" Mary Margaret yelled in reply and Emma sighed.

"I'm supposed to go out with Killian's work friends tonight," Emma admitted, focusing on twirling her hair.

"So?"

"So… these were the only people that knew how much pain Killian was in when I was with Liam… they know everything. Why would they like me? Why would anyone like me? I can't… I can't do this. I can't talk to them about this," She started hyperventilating into the phone. She hadn't meant to say all that and yet it was calming just to get it all out.

She hadn't told Killian any of this and she didn't want to. She didn't want to be the insecure girlfriend who couldn't get through a friendly dinner… and yet she had always come with baggage.

"Emma… no one thinks badly of you. You are what makes Killian happy and they know that. I'm sure they will love you," Mary Margaret replied soothingly. Emma nodded to herself. She wanted to believe Mary Margaret more then anything.

"Is that Emma?" She heard David say in the background, "Tell her I miss her!" Emma smiled at that.

"David misses you... AND YOU KNOW HOW YOU MET DAVID! THROUGH KILLIAN " Mary Margaret said, making a very valid point that Emma hated.

"Alright, maybe you're right," Emma admitted.

"Did you tell her?!" David yelled in the background and she heard Mary Margaret whispering to him to get out and then giggling wildly. It made her cringe. They were too perfect.

"Alright alright, I'm going. I need to get ready. Thank you," Emma said into the phone and she swears she could hear Mary Margaret smiling at her.

"Alright. Good luck Emma. Whatever happens we love you," Mary Margaret said and Emma smiled before saying goodbye and hanging up. She felt calmer, more ready. If only her hair matched her attitude. _Time to make myself look damn hot, _She thought, smiling to herself. She had some ideas on how to make Killian's eyes go wide and pants get tighter. _Oh yeah, I've got this. _

/

Killian waited outside the door. He could hear Emma running around inside and he shook his head before knocking. "One second!" Emma yelled from inside and he rolled his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes!" Emma yelled from inside.

"How did you…?" Killian yelled as Emma opened the door. She looked beautiful, her hair was down with big curls falling around her face. Her bright red lips matched her red silk top that swung easily around her breasts and tight jeans that looked amazing on her long legs that led to her 5 inch tan heels.

He looked down at his plain white v-neck and leather jacket, feeling rather underdressed until he looked up at Emma's face. Her mouth was open and she was staring at him.

"What?" He asked and she looked at him in shock.

"Are you kidding? Look at you! You're gorgeous!" Emma yelled at him and he laughed.

"You're the gorgeous one lass," He smirked back and felt her arms going around his neck and pulling him into a hug. He held her close to him, feeling her warmth around his waist. He couldn't stop the smile spreading across his face.

"Alright. C'mon love. We have a dinner party to attend," He whispered, keeping his hands around her waist as she nodded, following his lead to the car.

/

The car ride was quiet on the way to the restaurant, where his friends had reserved a room for them, all filled with their spouses. Emma tried not to hyperventilate as they entered the restaurant, her body only calmed by Killian's hand in hers. "Stop worrying, Swan. They'll love you," Killian whispered into her ear and she was glad he could read her so well. Even if it meant opening up.

The table was surrounded by men of all ages who were chatting loudly with their wives when Killian and Emma walked in. Some of the girls gaped at Killian who just smirked at them, making Emma roll her eyes at him.

"Jones! You made it!" Will stood up giving him a smack on the back. His wife waved at Killian and to Emma, smiling brightly with her little brunette curls surrounding her pink rosy cheeks and dark eyes.

"I'm Belle," She said brightly, reaching a hand out to Emma while the men talked.

"Emma," Emma shook Belle's hand.

"So this is Emma huh?" Will looked over at her, "We've heard a lot about you." Emma's smile faded a little.

"We're glad to have you," Will finished, giving her a slap on the back and laughing a little along with some others.

"Alright let's stop chit-chatting and get some real food in here. What is this? A salad? I'm a man. I need meat," Henry said angrily, staring down at the leafy greens in front of him with distaste. Everybody seemed to nod in agreement and sat around the table.

"Henry gets a little bitter when he doesn't eat," Belle whispered and Emma laughed, sitting across from her and next to Killian. "By the way, you two are very cute," Belle whispered, pointing at the two of them. Emma blushed and met Killian's eyes who raised his eyebrows at her as if it was obvious they were the cutest couple in the world.

"We're alright," Emma winked at Killian. He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

/

Emma felt at ease as everyone got their food and some drinks, chatting easily about sports and jobs, just enjoying each other's company.

"Will owed $120 dollars to the library… No I'm serious! And he would come in and just taunt me about how he would return the books when I agreed to go out with him," Belle told the girls. Another woman, Ingrid, looked repulsed at the story.

"And you said yes to that?!"

"Yes I did," Belle said in annoyance.

"I would never," She said back in distaste.

"But you said yes to that?" Emma laughed back, looking over to Ingrid's husband who looked rather like a dwarf and had been sneezing repeatedly over everyone's food. She heard the other women giving "Ohhhh"'s and Belle laughed.

"I'm just kidding," Emma apologized to Ingrid who looked pissed.

"Well, at least I love my husband enough not to turn him into an alcoholic," Ingrid shot back and Belle gave her daggers.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. He's obviously over it anyways… Being an alcoholic I mean," Ingrid smirked and Belle's mouth fell open.

"As if you would know," Belle shot at Ingrid, "She's exaggerating," Belle added to Emma. The men had started to look over at them, wondering what the commotion was about.

"What's wrong lass?" Killian asked Emma, looking concerned.

"Uh, nothing…," Emma said, still in shock at Ingrid's outburst. Killian met Belle's gaze, who immediately looked away.

"Oh dear god," Killian whispered. Emma got up. "Sorry, I'm just going to get some air," Emma mumbled, moving away from the table. She felt her heart beating fast and she couldn't get the thought out of her heart. _My fault, my fault, my fault._ She ran outside, leaning against the wall outside and breathing easily, trying to keep herself steady.

She knew Killian had turned to drinking and she knew it was all her fault. Even now she didn't feel like she deserved him after everything. She slammed her fist against the bricks and felt a tear falling down her cheek.

"Please don't cry love," She heard Killian's voice reach her ears and felt his arms wrap around her waist. She curled into him.

"I hurt you…"

"Stop. Stop. I love you Emma… all I've ever needed to be happy is you in my arms," Killian held his palm against her cheek, wiping away her tears sweetly. She smiled a little.

"How often did you get drunk when we weren't together?" Emma asked.

"Uh… Alright. Too often I'm afraid," Killian admitted, looking down at the ground, "But that was my own choice, Emma. And I'm not that person anymore. I'm not going to lose myself again. Not when I have you… Emma if you never want me to touch a drink again I would do that for you," Killian kept his hands on her face, wanting nothing more then to make her happy. She stayed quiet, thinking, and eventually nodded.

"Alright. Well don't go overboard, CaptainHook," Emma laughed, "Who said I liked you sober anyways?" She said and he smirked a little.

"Well there are a couple nights that I don't regret getting a little tipsy," Killian winked and Emma blushed.

"I just want to keep you safe…" Emma shrugged. He grabbed her shoulders forcing her to look into his eyes.

"Emma… I'm not going anywhere. I can promise you that," He said and she smiled and nodded at him. She knew that.

The door opened again and Emma saw Ingrid and her grumpy husband being pushed out. "K BYE INGRID!" Will and Belle yelled as they pushed them out the door. Will extended his hand to Emma, holding his other hand around Belle's shoulders.

"I'm Will by the way," He said easily to Emma, ignoring Ingrid's yells from the parking lot.

"Come back in! Please? We hate Ingrid! We wanted to kick her out and we're actually excited to welcome a new friend in!" Belle yelled, looking desperately at Emma. Killian smiled at her and Will shrugged. "It's true," Will added, "She was a bit of an ice queen."

Emma laughed, letting Belle grab her hand. "Pleaseee," Belle tugged at her hand and Emma sighed.

"Alright alright," She finally agreed, letting Belle pull her back inside.

/

Everyone stopped talking when they walked back in. Emma holding her breath. "Ingrid's gone!" Henry laughed loudly and everyone clapped making Emma and Killian laugh in return. "I told you she was an ice queen," Will whispered to her and she laughed.

"Oh by the way, Henry ate some of your fries," Will added, pointing to Henry's plate where a pile of Killian's fries sat.

"Oh that's harsh," Killian eyed him and everyone waited for the battle for fries to break out. Emma pulled him back. "You can have some of my fries," She whispered and Killian looked at her seriously.

"Woah. Emma. That's a big decision," Killian looked at her.

"I think I can handle it," She whispered to him.

"God that is such a turn on," Killian whispered back making her bite her lip.

"Drinks anyone?!" Will yelled and everyone cheered in agreement.

"Want a drink?" Emma asked Killian but he shook his head.

"No thanks love. I'd rather have you sober," He winked at her and it took all of her strength to keep herself from throwing herself at him. Instead she wrapped his arms around her and gave him a little wink. "Guess you'll have to wait," Emma smirked at him and he shook his head, just smiling at her. He could never stop smiling with her.


	16. Emma and Killian

_A/N: So you guys may have noticed that I made some changes to past chapters because I didn't like how some stuff happened and I know others didn't either. Also I'm sorry my chapters are taking longer to get up but I promise I'll finish every story I'm writing. Thanks for the follows and favorites I appreciate every one of you guys and thanks for reading my stories! _

_/_

"Take me," She whispered into his ear, biting at his earlobe. His scruff rubbed against her cheeks as he kissed her roughly, his lips scraping against hers. He grunts loudly when she pushes herself against him. Their breath is hot against each other, Emma's breathe filled with alcohol, her face flushed and full and she giggles like a little girl. Killian smirks at her, she was funny to watch when she was drinking.

"Emma, darling. Maybe we should stop this. You're quite drunk," Killian says, raising an eyebrow at her. His arms are still around her and she has him pinned to the wall.

The night had gone well after the little outburst, Emma feeling more relaxed and comfortable around Killian's friends and yet maybe she had gotten a little too comfortable, practically downing a whole bottle too herself. He had got her home safe, expecting her to go straight to bed but she wasn't, in fact her body was pinning him to the wall, her mouth inches from his and he felt practically as tipsy as Emma looked, his eyes unable to gaze away from the gorgeous woman in front if him who's hands were creeping down his shirt.

"I'm sober and therefore should be responable here," He said, mostly too himself then anyone.

"Why? Don't you want me?" Emma pouts at him and he looks away from her, his tongue rubbing against the top of his teeth. "Is this not want?" Emma asks reaching her hand down to the bulge in Killian's pants and watching his jaw tighten.

"You're drunk. We shouldn't..Oh," He starts, shutting up as Emma starts moving her hand along his pants, biting her lip as she looks at him. Her eyes teasing him to kiss her, to fuck her.

"No, no we're going to wait for you to sober up a little," Killian sighs to himself, trying not to concentrate on her breasts practically bulging out of her top or her hands in front of him playing with him like an animal meeting it's prey.

"Fine. Then I'll do something else while you just wait there," She raises her eyebrows at him, her tongue between her teeth.

"What are you…" Killian watches from his place on the wall, watching her pull off her shirt and let it fall to the floor.

"Emma…"

"Whoops," She whispers, walking away from Killian as she unzips her pants and lets them fall around her ankles. He can feel his breath hitching, watching her kick off her pants and shove them to the side. Killian just stares at her, in nothing but her bra and thong as she struts away from him. He can feel his cock pulsing in his pants and he wants her. He wants to tug her blonde hair in his palm and fuck her senseless until she comes, screaming his name.

"For fucks sake, Emma," He moans but Emma just ignores him, lying back on the bed and giving him a wink. Her legs are spread over the cotton fabric of the bedspread and her hair is lying is tangles around her face, her lips curved and Killian sits still, watching her fingers move easily between her legs, touching herself while he waits, watching, his jaw tight and he can't even blink he's so mesmerized by her. Her fingers move easily around her flesh that is glistening with wetness, her eyes watching him and he turns to the side, hopefully covering the want that is clearly showing through his pants.

"Please," Emma whispers to him, tapping the empty nest of blankets next to her and he can't help it, she was just too intoxicating. He shakes his head.

"Alright, love," He laughs, "If that's the way you want to play this. Then we're both gonna be in the same boat." He moves into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of wine from the cabinet. He can't read the label but it's a deep red color and he swirls the bottle in his hands.

"If you're gonna be drinking so am I darling," He laughs chugging back some of the wine and he hears Emma laugh from the bed.

"Whatever I'd want you every way possible, drinking or not," She winks at him and he raises his eyebrows at her in surprise.

"Me too, Swan. Me too," He whispers back.

"Then shut it and get in here!" She purrs to him and he feels his stomach twist in want and his chest fill with warmth from the wine. It was amazing how just a little alcohol could affect him now. Or maybe it was her making him feel intoxicated but he only took one swig, not needing anymore and he smiled at that. She had this weird way of making him feel complete without any added fillers. And then he looked to the tipsy mess in his sheets, smiling at him, teasing him and he laughs.

"You're gonna regret taunting me like that, Swan," Killian growls at her, stepping towards her. She watches him with interest, watching how he pulls his shirt off his back, how he unbuttons his pants and tossing them aside, all the while baring his gaze down on her with want and desire and an absolute need to be in her, to feel her. Emma moans, he's already pushed himself up on the bed with her, pushing himself between her open legs, his cock rubbing against her through his boxers and she gives him a mischievous smile.

It had been much too long since she had had a really good night with anyone and yet she couldn't stop smiling. She knew it wasn't sexy but she needed to smile and he didn't mind, in fact he smiled back, raising his eyebrows at her.

"I know. It makes everyone happy doesn't it?" He whispers, looking down at the bulge in his pants and Emma laughs.

"I'd be even happier without these," She whispers back, her hands wrapping around the edges of his boxers and she doesn't wait for him to give some cocky response before she rips them down, revealing himself throbbing in want for her.

"Woah, Emma," Killian growls, letting her push herself on top of him, lowering herself on his body so that she's face to face with his cock and he squirms, waiting for her to wrap her tongue around him, to take his length.

He tastes salty around her mouth as she eyes him, moaning for more and she obliges to his needs, wrapping her soft lips around him and sucking on him hard but slow, making him feel every movement in her mouth. He can't help but wrap his fingers in her hair, thrusting himself up into her mouth because he's too turned on and she's teasing the living daylights out of him.

"Do you want to fuck me now, Jones?" Emma growls at him and he nods furiously at her. He didn't know when she started taking charge of the situation but he liked it. She was always a spitfire. She pushed herself on top of him, spreading her legs around his waist and they both moan when he enters her, her own body lowering on top of him, letting him sink into her.

"You are so wet, love," He whispers to her and she nods at him, biting her lip. He moves to whisper something else but then she's moving on top of him, taking him and he follows her motions, meeting her pattern as they fuck each other, her breasts bouncing on her chest, her mouth open in a perfect O.

"My turn to take charge," Killian smirks at her, pushing himself on top of her and pulling her legs around him, pushing himself hard into her and he hears her moan in approval, feeling him fill her again and again. He moves hard against her, his chest dripping with beads of sweat that move down his chest hair and he breathes fast, feeling his heart rate increasing. She moans his name to him, increasing his pleasure.

"You want to come with me Swan?" Killian raises an eyebrow at her and she smirks at him, making his cock twitch inside her and she gasps a little. He lifts her off the bed, turning her back to him and she looks at him curiously, her mouth open and she wants more of him. He smirks at her and turns her to the wall pushing her palms against the back wall so she's standing, her back against his chest and he's still inside of her, his pelvic pumping hard against her ass, his lips moving against the back of her neck and she feels him moving his hands around her front, first pinching her nipple and hearing her moan, herbody so incredibly turned on by him. Then he's moving his hand down to her chest and to her belly button, and slowly moving between her legs, lightly passong across her clit, making her moan and she hears him chuckle, still pounding inside her and he moves his fingers faster against her clit, rubbing her into orgasm while pushing himself into her and their both moaning now, each moving faster against each other, feeding off of each other.

He can feel his orgasm coming, the pleasure building between them and her moans bring him closer and closer, his heart beating faster and he moves faster inside her. "Emma, I'm going to… fuck," Killian shouts, pulling his cock free from her and coming all over her back. He hears her moan his name, orgasming herself right after him and he drops his fingers from between her legs, satisfied.

"That was bloody brilliant," He breathes, looking at disbelief at the woman standing in front of him, smiling at him, his cum dripping down her back and he laughs. "I'm sorry about that… I…," Killian starts, scratching behind his ear absentmindedly but she just laughs, grabbing something to wipe herself off.

"don't be," She whispers, giving him a little kiss on the lips before grabbing her underwear off the floor and slipping them on.

"You are one magnificent woman, Swan," Killian whispers to her, brushing her hair back from her face so he can see her cheeks that are red with heat, his mouth still breathing a little heavy and he kisses her, softly and lovingly, feeling her arms around his waist kissing him back, one hand stroking his arm where his hand was. He had gotten pretty good at this sex stuff for a one handed guy. She smiles at him and turns to find her clothes, letting him eye the floor for his own boxers that Emma had practically ripped off his body.

After a couple minutes Emma sighs, giving up on clothes and lying back on the bed, watching him move about the room, tossing on his boxers and throwing his shirt and pants into the hamper for another day. He moves easily around the room and Emma smiles from her spot among the pillows, enjoying the view.

"You look tired," He nods to her, smiling.

"Yeah… I think I'm still a little drunk," She laughs and he laughs with her.

"Yeah, I think so too lass," He responds to her and she blushes a little in embarrassment.

"I can't believe I did that after yelling at you for drinking," Emma said, covering her face in her hands.

"That's alright. Apparently I don't need alcohol with a drug like you," He chuckles and she bites her lip, smiling at him.

"I love you," She whispers and he turns to her, nodding back.

"I love you too, Emma," He whispers back, forgetting about his clothes and the alcohol and the fact that they were both still naked besides a pair of underwear and instead he pushes himself into the bed with her, wrapping his arms around her. She nuzzles into his chest, finding a comfortable spot for both of them, with her leg draped around his and her arm lying peacefully across his bare chest.

"Goodnight Emma," He whispers to her and she nods to him, giving in to the exhaustion of the day, and closing her eyes, finally able to sleep in the comfort of Killian Jones.


	17. The Video

Hey guys! I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me through this story. I'm not entirely happy with it and I think I'd like to try something like this again but with less tragedy, less confusion, and more smut. With that in mind I will take the time to finish out this story either this chapter or next and continue Escape to Neverland but that has a long ways to go. Again just thank you to everyone who read even a page of my work, I am working on some new stories and I already like them better then my past stories but I'll keep y'all updated. Anyways enjoy!

/

The pitter patter of rain against the windows woke Emma early in the morning. Too early.

"What time is it?" She mumbled lazily, reaching over to check her phone that read 6:15 on the top. Grumbling, she decided to get up, after all she did have a class to teach at 9 and she figured it would be nice to actually eat a real breakfast and still have time to curl her hair.

Turning over to her other side, Emma couldn't help but smile at the man next to her, his hand stretched out towards her, as if trying to keep her in bed even in his sleep. His face looked peaceful, his chest rising easily with each breath.

With a quick movement, Emma slipped a kiss over his nose before pushing over the edge of the bed and letting her feet hit the hard floor, a moment that made her want to crawl back into the blankets and snuggle with Killian for the rest of her life. But instead, she managed to get herself off of the bed, across the floor, and through the door, hearing it squeak loudly and grimacing hoping Killian hadn't moved at the sound. He didn't.

The whole apartment was still dark, with little slivers of light peeping through the windows onto the floor and the shadows of rain lining the window pane. It was too early to care about anything right now and she didn't want to get ready yet. Instead, Emma walked over to the couch, plopping herself down and staring out the window, just listening to the rain.

It had been months since her drunken night of throwing herself at Killian and he still hasn't let her live it down. She thought back to the last year, how much had changed, how much she had changed. She'd experienced pain and love and heartbreak and happiness and she couldn't understand how she could be here, at this moment, still alive and intact… and… happy. Emma laughed to herself at the irony but she couldn't deny that a soulmate is a soulmate and that she had been so lucky to find hers.

"Emma?" a deep voice whispered through the dark in a worried but also half asleep tone.

"I'm here," She whispered back from her spot on the couch.

"Are you okay? Why are you up so early?" Killian asked back, walking towards her voice.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Emma smiled at him, moving over on the couch to make room for him to slide his arm around her shoulders and lean back against the side of the couch, letting Emma lean into him, her feet curled up below her butt. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Having trouble sleeping?" He asked her, resting his chin on the top of her head and pressing a kiss into her hair.

"No. Not anymore," She admitted.

"What's wrong love?" Killian asked softly. She had no idea how he managed to read her so easily but she was grateful for it this morning.

"Nothing," She said quickly.

"You know you're going to tell me eventually," Killian looked at her, raising his eyebrows, waiting.

"I've just... I don't know I've just been thinking a lot about the past year… It was the worst and best year of my life and I just don't know how to feel or what to think about it… I don't want to forget it but I also sorta do, ya know?" Emma sputtered, no even sure if she was making sense to him but he had leaned away from her, watching her intently and nodding.

"You think I'm crazy?" Emma asked, laughing lightly.

"No. Never. I was just thinking," Killian admitted, still watching her, a little smile crossing his lips.

"Thinking about what?" Emma asked curiously, watching him take his hand away from her neck to scratch the back of his neck nervously.

"Killian. What." Emma asked again, a little harsher.

"I've been thinking about it too," Killian admitted.

"Oh?"

"Yeah.. well... I.. I.."

"What?" Emma asked, watching him twitch nervously.

"I… I… Well. I kind of have something that might make you feel better but it was supposed to be for your birthday in a couple weeks. I just happened to have some free time lately and I ended up finishing your present early," Killian said, looking away from her as if preparing himself for her to hit him. Emma's mouth fell open with anger and she smacked him in the arm, confirming his suspicions.

"Okay ow!" Killian yelled.

"We said no presents! We agreed to do nothing for my birthday, you know I hate my birthday," Emma shouted at him but he was just laughing.

"Oh c'mon Emma. Do you really think a man like myself could ever be so ungentlemanly? Please," Killian chuckled, raising his eyebrows at her, "besides, if I gave it to you now, would it really be a birthday gift?"

"Hmmm… No. No I guess not," Emma admitted, rolling her eyes at his loophole but he looked at her excitedly.

"I'll be right back," He smiled, running into the bedroom. Emma sighed loudly in annoyance and heard him yelling something back at her, muffled by the movements of furniture.

"What are you doing, redecorating the whole room?" Emma laughed.

"Nope! Just getting this," Killian beamed, leaving the room holding a CD between his fingers and raising it up to his face, wiggling his eyebrows with anticipation.

"A CD?" Emma asked, confused.

"It's a slideshow I put together for you. If you want to watch it?" He asked, stopping at the DVD player and waiting for her to give him the go ahead. She looked at the clock, as if she really cared about having the time to curl her hair. Sh had time. She laughed, nodding at Killian to put the DVD in.

"Oh wow turn that down it's only 6:30 in the morning! You're going to wake somebody up that's not totally crazy like you," Emma laughed, hearing the TV blare through the speakers as they came to life.

"They're fine. It's for an important cause," Killian chuckled, hearing Emma grumble something back about blaming him if they get yelled at. Emma sat up though when the intro came up for the DVD, with flashes of images and pictures sliding past the screen and in front of the slideshow the start button and a button labeled, extras.

"What's extras?" Emma asked curiously but Killian ignored her, pressing the start button and moving back to the couch to sit with Emma as the movie started.

"The extras is for another time," He said smiling at her and wiggling his eyebrows mischievously at her. Emma eyed him curiously but he just turned away from her, brushing it off with a shh as the music started playing. Emma decided she'd pester him more about it later, smiling at the intro song "The words" by Christina Perri. It was always one of her favorite music videos, since the guy reminded her so much of Killian even if he always refused to see it. The song was just like Christina Perri songs… sad and deep but something she always wanted to belt out singing. She smiled at the song until the lyrics "I know the scariest part is letting go, love is a ghost you can't control" started to play and she felt her smile start to fade. "Killian… What is this video about… oh my," Emma covered her mouth instantly, reaching the other hand for Killian's who obliged, gripping her hand in his.

"_Emma Come here!" Liam yelled out to her, laughing from behind a camera, running up to the young blonde teenager. _

_"Oh god, again with the camera Liam?" Emma laughed, pushing the screen away from her so it faced down to the ground, to the two pairs of converse walking in the grass. _

_"Excuse me for wanting to remember you," Liam argued, obviously annoyed. _

_"If you don't think we're staying best friends when we leave this place then you're crazy," Emma laughed back at him, grabbing the camera and pointing it at a young Liam's face who gave a big smile to the camera. _

_"Yeah well Emma Swan has tried to escape just about every home she's been in so excuse me for thinking otherwise," Liam rolled his eyes at the camera._

_"Not true," Emma said. _

_"Yes true. I know you Emma... What if you don't want anything to do with me anymore when we turn 18 and actually leave the system?"_

_"You're a home I would never run from," Emma said back, looking at him with genuine care in her eyes. Liam smiled at her. _

_"Whatttt," Emma groaned, her sincerity disappearing behind her walls. _

_"Are you kidding? You just made this tape very valuable. Emma Swan just opened up on my camera. This is big news and I MUST YELL IT TO THE WORLD!" Liam said, yelling by the end while Emma tried to cover his mouth, laughing loudly. _

_The screen went dark, lighting up again to a picture slideshow of Emma, Liam, and Killian with their arms around each other and a little old women in front of them: Their last foster mother._

Change screen:

_"Swan. Swan. Swan. Swan," Killian's voice rang through Emma's first apartment, aiming his phone camera at the little rinky dink, beaten up place Emma had rented just outside of Boston. _

_"WHAT JONES?!" Emma yelled back loudly from one of the rooms. _

_"This place…," Killian started, turning the camera to Emma and seeing her eye the camera with a look that said "say anything bad about this place and you will never see the light of day again". _

_"What about this place, Jones?" Emma smirked at him. _

_"It's almost as perfect as you are," Killian said in a monotone voice, turning the camera to him and shaking his head, asking the camera to help him escape Emma's wrath._

_"Yeah yeah," Emma laughed._

"Oh wow I was such a sassy child," Emma laughed, real time, from the couch.

"WAS?" Killian shouts back, chuckling loudly and getting hit in the chest lightly by Emma's palm.

"Shh," Emma smiled, turning back to the TV where slideshow after slideshow went past the screen, picture after picture of the three of them, her and Killian, her and Liam, Liam and Killian all smiling, happy, enjoying life at parties, birthdays, movie nights through the years.

_"You are perfect!" A drunk Emma spoke, aiming her camera phone at Killian's half naked body. _

_"Emma look at you! You're the one that's perfect!" Killian laughed. _

_"No!" Emma yelled._

_"Yes!" Killian yelled back, "Why are you filming me?" He laughed at her. _

_"Because the world needs to know how beautiful you are!" Emma yelled loudly making him laugh at her and scratch the back of his head awkwardly. _

_"Why don't you love me?" Emma pouted at him and Killian looked up at her, not nearly as drunk as she must have been. _

_"Oh trust me Emma, I do," He looked at her before the screen went dark again. _

"Oh I am such an idiottt," Emma covered her face in real time but Killian just smiled at her.

"Well then I'm in love with an idiot," Killian winked at her, "there's one more scene… and I think you should see it."

Emma looked up to the screen, it was a video of Killian and Liam, Killian holding the camera out so they were both in the shot.

_"It's a bro dayyy!" Killian started to yell and Liam joined in, both yelling like idiots in the car. _

_"And Killian sucks at picking good days for bro daysssss ahhhh," Liam yelled, getting smacked by Killian in the arm both laughing loudly. _

_"Bro. Bro. I love you. Rain or shine," Killian said, reaching over and running a hand down Liam's cheek. _

_"I think you're spending too much time with Emma. You're sarcasm has gotten suspiciously good," Liam laughed. _

_"He doesn't mean that. He loves your sarcasm," Killian nodded to the camera. _

_"That I do," Liam smiled at the camera_

_"I do more," Killian whispered to the camera before Liam started laughing at him and giving a little wave to the camera before hitting the end button. _

"Was that…"

"Yes," Killian said.

"The day of the accident…," Emma said.

"Yeah. I thought my phone would be completely crushed but turns out that was just my arm," Killian shrugged, waiting for her to turn off the video but she didn't. He looked over at Emma, his eyes meeting hers as a tear fell from her eye.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have shown you that... I thought… I'm sorry Emma," Killian moved closed to her, cradling her in his arms.

"No! No… Thank you. Thank you so much," Emma smiled at him, "I just can't believe you took all the time to make that for me." Emma smiled at him, raising a hand to his cheek.

"I would do anything for you," Killian whispered, cradling her in his arms as the credits rolled past the screen reading:

_Produced by:_

_Killian Jones_

_Editted by:_

_Killian Jones_

_Created by:_

_Killian Jones_

_Main character:_

_Killian Jones_

"Ohh you're ridiculous," Emma whispered, feeling him chuckle, his body moving with hers as they held each other.

"I love you Emma," he whispered.

"I love you too," She said, meaning every word.

/

Killian lay in bed, turning the DVD between his fingers. The clock read 9:15. Emma had already left, after eating breakfast with him and kissing him goodbye. He smiled, thinking about her excitement over the video he had made her. The feeling in his stomach still hadn't left him, those butterflies when he saw her smile, the way her cheeks glowed when she got embarrassed, the way she hid behind her hair when she started laughing too hard. The thought made him smile to himself.

He stood up, walking back to the TV and staring at the DVD before nodding and slipping it into the DVD player again. It was the first time he had really watched the tape full through since he'd made it and he wanted to make sure that another part of the video had come out just as good as the first. After all, this was the important part.

The extras button popped up at the start of the movie and Killian chewed on his lip, contemplating but deciding it was never too early to start practicing. He ran quickly to his room, digging through his sock drawer and grabbing something to slip into his pocket before walking back out to the living room and pushing start.

Pictures from their sailing lessons, dates, dinners, and movie nights scrolled past the screen, Killian's voice recorded over it.

_"Hey Emma! It's Killian… I just wanted to take this time to talk about someone that is beautiful and perfect and amazing in every possible way you could imagine. And I know what you're thinking but this isn't about me right now so just stop that Emma! Killian laughed._

_But in all seriousness… I needed to say thank you to you for changing my life. I wouldn't be who I am today without you and I think I owe you more then this but… maybe this will do for now." The voice read out over the slideshow, switching to a video of Killian in the bedroom, staring at the camera. _

_"THIS... this is what I want to give you now," Killian smiled at the camera, backing up and bending onto one knee. _

_"Emma Swan... Will you make me the happiest man on earth and agree to be my wife?" The video Killian asked. _

Killian watched the video from in front of the Tv smiling big and reaching into his pocket, pulling out the same ring in real time, and looking at the silver diamond sparkle in his hand.

"One day," He whispered to himself, smiling.


	18. The Engagement

_Hey guys! I'm sorry it has been so long since I've updated any of my stories but I promise I will update and finish all stories I have started. Life has just been crazy and this chapter took me awhile to get through but it is finally finished! I was going to make this the last chapter but I want to get through just a couple more details and really finish up everything I loved about this story. As always thanks for the follows and reviews and I hope you all enjoy._

* * *

It had been 6 months since Killian had proposed but Emma still got butterflies when she looked at the engagement ring that spun around her finger. It wasn't an over the top wedding proposal, just a normal night with the two of them eating Chinese food and drinking beer on the floor of their little apartment. He hadn't stopped smiling once the whole night and Emma hadn't fully understood why until he popped the DVD in pretending it was My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

She had laughed while he pretended to fluster with the DVD player as if he didn't understand that this was the wrong movie. Emma had offered to help, shaking her head at how pathetic he was with technology but then a picture of Killian was up on the screen and everything stood still while Emma listened to him speak. Her smile faded and realization struck a cord when the little velvet box appeared in his hands. When he got down on one knee on the TV, so did the Killian standing before her, and Emma's mouth had fallen open. She had said yes faster then either of them expected. Then it was both of them that couldn't stop smiling.

Today though, Emma wasn't smiling so much. Her and Killian had spent all day picking out centerpieces, tablecloths, and color schemes. Basically everything that made Emma want to shoot herself.

"What do you think of this color?" A salesman asked Emma, smiling brightly while presenting a crimson red piece of fabric, "It's sort of a romantic red…"

"No," Emma said simply and the man nodded, running back to find another color. Killian chuckled, watching the man running around under Emma's gaze.

"Relax, love," Killian whispered, pulling her waist closer to him so he could kiss her hair, "I think you're scaring the lad."

Emma sighed, looking to her fiancé with a bored expression, "He's so boring," She whined, "and that color looked like death."

"What about this one Ms. Swan?" The man asked hopefully, placing a piece of dark purple on the counter between them.

"Ughh whatever. Sounds good," Emma groaned, barely eying the color palate. Killian shook his head.

"No thank you. That color is a little dark for us," Killian cut in. Emma looked annoyed at Killian but he ignored her glare, "We might as well have no wedding at all if you're going to just buy random color splotches," He said in explanation to her, turning away to avoid her glaring expression. Even as the words escaped his lips, he began to sigh, Emma's mouth already opening in a rhetorical response to his sass. She had put so much work into this wedding and he knew she would have something to say to that.

"Please don't…" Killian started, wanting to apologize before the fight even started but Emma did not look upset, in fact she looked rather giddy.

"So why don't we?" Emma asked, finally feeling more awake then she had all day.

"Why don't we what?" Killian asked back, confusion across his face.

"Skip the whole wedding thing?" Emma said excitedly. Killian looked surprisingly at her, the salesman looking open-mouthed at the two of them. "I thought you wanted the big wedding thing?" Killian asked, laughing, "I only wanted this because I thought you did."

"No! I thought YOU wanted this," Emma laughed, "I just want to be married to you already." There was a silence between them then and Emma suddenly felt unsure about speaking out against the wedding. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. "Unless YOU want… We can do whatever…" Emma tried to add but Killian had cut her off, his lips pressing to hers to shut her up. Emma immediately forgot what she was saying as she melted into him, momentarily consumed in the savory sweet taste of his lips on hers.

"I love you so much," Killian said softly to her, smirking and kissing her once more, pulling her to him in the middle of the shop. The salesman was still watching them, shock across his face. Neither of them seemed to notice though and both found themselves wrapped up in each other's warmth.

Finally, Killian pulled away from Emma, holding her away from him long enough to tell the salesman that they no longer required his services and to pull her out of the store. Emma laughed excitedly next to him, a beaming smile across her face as they ran out, the man behind the counter yelling something to them about social standards that made Emma even more excited to be escaping the shop.

They had barely left the store before his arms were back around her, pulling her to him. Emma giggled as he kissed her up her arm and to her collarbone. She knew he felt the same fire within him that she was feeling. That feeling that they were doing something so right and yet so wrong.

"Do you want to marry me?" Emma asked Killian, pushing him back just enough so that they could see each other's eyes.

"Yes."

"Today?"

"Yes."

"Killian… you aren't even thinking…" Emma laughed, trying to get him to think for a second but he was already kissing her again, a protective kiss that sent a familiar shiver down her spine.

"Yes Emma," He nodded again and Emma nodded back, reassured in her decision.

"Alright then. We're going to need witnesses," She said, smiling up at the blue eyed man in front of her, whose good hand was wrapped around her waist holding her tightly. He smirked back at her. "Ah," Killian pouted, realizing momentarily that this was going to be a little more complicated than just running to the nearest town hall, "And who should that be?" Killian asked, meeting the little smirk on his love's face. "I think you know who."

* * *

It was a short ride to David and Mary Margaret's home and Killian held on to Emma the whole time. Neither of them felt apprehensive in their choice and Emma even felt excited to tell their friends the news of their wedding until they were standing in front of David and Mary Margaret's door, unable to knock.

"She's going to kill us for not having a wedding," Emma whispered softly.

"Ay," Killian said simply.

"What if she refuses to help us?" Emma whimpered.

"David will back us up. We aren't children. This is our choice," Killian argued back, but there was still an awkward silence between the two of them that made Emma think he was just trying to put on a show of being tough. Mary Margaret and David had always treated them like they were their own children and regardless of being the same age, they both felt like they were telling their parents they were eloping.

"We're inviting them. They should feel honored!" Emma argued, more with herself then with Killian, but she turned to him anyways, "Can you do it?"

Killian scratched the back of his head uncomfortably but eventually nodded, taking Emma's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "Yes," Killian agreed, knocking on the front door without a second thought, and waiting for the couple to answer.

"But this was still your idea if they kill us," Killian added under his breath.

They could hear the shuffling behind the door and took a deep breath as Mary Margaret's smiling face appeared in the doorway. Emma could feel the lump in her throat as they stood there. Thankfully, Mary Margaret welcomed the two inside, saying how long it's been since they all got together and how happy she was that they were here, giving the two a chance to collect their thoughts. Emma smiled and nodded, feeling already overwhelmed at their presence. David must have been upstairs in the smaller part of the little loft but he came rushing down when he heard guests walking through the house, he too smiling largely.

"What brings you too here?" David asked them, giving them both hugs of hello before standing back, waiting eagerly to here why they had shown up on their doorstep unannounced. Emma and Killian looked at each other, both unsure of how to explain to their friends that they have decided to marry each other _today_.

"Just in the neighborhood," They both said together. Emma looked surprisingly at Killian and he gave her a little smirk. It was like he read her mind.

The couple seemed to take their answer and David shrugged as the whole group sitting around the kitchen island, chatting casually.

Mary Margaret though, seemed to be watching them with a worried expression, her eyes trying to meet Emma's to see why she was really here. "So… You were just in the neighborhood?" She asked them, getting up to serve the table some tea and cookies while they chatted.

"Uh yeah. Just wanted to see the two of you," Emma said, tapping her fingers on the countertop in a nervous tick. Killian too sat nervously besides her, twisting a ring on one of his fingers. Emma smiled at the movement. After all, she did the same thing with her engagement ring.

"Why'd you _suddenly_ want to see us?" Mary Margaret asked again, her eyes bearing into the two of them. Killian, feeling uncomfortable took to standing and began pacing slowly around the room, pretending to look at all of the pictures hung on the walls.

"Killian, sit down," Emma asked softly, but he didn't hear her and Mary Margaret was once again in her face, giving her a look of "I know you're here for a reason I just don't know what". David on the other hand seemed perfectly content to sit where he was, smiling at all three of them. In turn, Emma resolved to move herself closer to David and away from her crazy friend.

"So how are you Emma?" David asked warmly.

"I'm well… very well actually," Emma smiled, meeting Killian's eye from across the room. He grinned back, maybe calming his own nerves as well because as Emma turned back to David and Mary Margaret she felt the warm touch of Killian's hand on her shoulder.

"I realize that we're acting a bit weird," Emma chuckled and Mary Margaret nodded, David looking a little confused but letting her finish. She made eye contact with her friend and rolled her eyes at her, "It's not my fault you can read me like a book," Emma laughed.

"I just know you," Mary Margaret smiled, "BOTH of you," She added, raising her eyebrows at Killian, "So what is it?" She finished, waiting patiently. The whole table went silent, waiting for Emma or Killian to open their mouths. Emma looked to her lover, and he nodded. He had agreed to tell them after all. "We…"

"Wait," Emma stopped him, moving to stand beside him, "let's tell them together." Killian nodded to her, reaching for her hand.

"We're getting married," Killian said, still smirking at his bride.

"Today," Emma finished.

"YOU..." Mary Margaret exclaimed but the pair continued.

"And we would like you two to be our witnesses," Killian added quickly, raising an eyebrow towards their friends. The couple looked at them in shock.

"Please…" Emma added, hoping to stop Mary Margaret from screaming at them. Her friend's face seemed hesitant, shock and happiness seeming to mix in her brain.

"You… Today?" Mary Margaret shook her head, trying to clear her mind, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes," They said together.

"But Emma! No big wedding?" Her friend pouted.

"I've never been one for big weddings," Emma laughed, but it was true. It had never been her style and Mary Margaret knew that. David stayed silent through the exchange, sighing as the two girls talked but finally chuckling a little under his breath. Mary Margaret turned to him, raising her eyebrows in curiosity.

"Well," David chuckled, "You two have never been very conventional before. I would have been surprised if you started now." Emma nodded, smiling at David and tightening her grip on Killian's hand. He shared a similar look, the two thinking back to their first night together. They truly had never been a conventional couple.

They looked back to Mary Margaret who seemed on the fence, partially not wanting to give in to their crazy antics but part just wanting to make them happy. She finally sighed. "Alright, if David agrees, then we will… we will gladly be your witnesses," Mary Margaret replied to them and David nodded to them. He agreed.

"Thank.."

"BUT!" Mary Margaret added, "You two are not getting married like _that_." At that, the pair looked down at their outfits, both wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, neither particularly caring for how they looked. The exception made Emma laugh and she reached out for her friends, giving them both a hug and a thank you.

"You think I'm kidding but I most certainly am not," Mary Margaret started.

"We look fine!"

"Mhm… We'll meet you boys at town hall in 2 hours!" Mary Margaret announced. Killian's smile faded fast as Mary Margaret reached for Emma, taking her out of Killian's arms.

"Wait… what?" Killian pouted, trying to hold on to his love who was being forcefully taken away from him. She mouthed an apology to him and he shook his head at her, watching Emma get dragged to the front door and hearing Mary Margaret scream that she would see them soon before the door slammed shut behind them.

Killian and David looked at the door, total confusion over what had just happened on both of their faces. "Well… thanks for being on our side mate," Killian said to David, slapping him on the back. His friend nodded to him and Killian moved to sit again until David's hand stopped him.

"Well you can thank me later… First we need to get you a suit."

* * *

Mary Margaret moved like a machine as she pulled Emma from store to store. "We have to find you the right dress!" Mary Margaret yelled as she passed expensive wedding dress shops across Boston. Emma could feel her smile fading as she looked at the dresses. They were beautiful, over the top, with lace bodices and tool bottoms. They were beautifully made and looked perfect but mostly they just weren't Emma, and the price tag that came with them was more then Emma had intended on paying for her wedding in total.

"Couldn't I just wear my boots or something?" Emma asked, looking around nervously at all the shops that surrounded them.

"You don't like anything here?" Mary Margaret asked sadly, following Emma's gaze around the stores. Emma shook her head at her friend, sad to disappoint her but knowing this had to be her decision.

"I'm sorry I just don't think this is what I want." Mary Margaret nodded silently, thinking to herself.

"Well… let's just keep looking. I'm sure you'll find something," Her friend said but Emma could feel a sense of boredom creeping back into her bones.

"No more wedding shops," Emma announced, putting her foot down, "If I'm going to wear a dress I'm going to wear a dress that I want." With that, Emma turned away from their dress stores and began walking down the street with a sense of purpose in her step.

"So where are we going?" Mary Margaret asked, running to keep up with Emma's long legs.

"Thrift stores," Emma said smoothly, chuckling at the grunts from her friend. Thankfully, Mary Margaret didn't say anything more and let Emma lead the way to wherever she was going.

* * *

A quick T trip later, and Emma and Mary Margaret found themselves strutting down Massachusetts Ave. Emma walked with speed, her friend lazily strolling behind her hoping for Emma to stop taking them farther and farther away from the expensive stores of Boston. Unfortunately for Mary Margaret, Emma was not planning to stop until she found exactly what she was looking for. A couple minutes later and Emma found just that, her feet stopping to turn to a little shop with glass windows and brick walls. Boomerang's shop sign stood proudly above the little store and Emma smirked as she gazed inside the thrift shop.

Mary Margaret said nothing, waiting for Emma's reaction but Emma knew better then to act like she cared about the place in front of her friend. This wasn't the time or place to be talking about her past. Besides, everyone knew Emma had little money growing up, that she stole, she con-ed, all with two little boys at her sides, holding her protectively away from store owners and older men who looked at Emma like the broken child she was.

But, this store did hold meaning to her.

Boomerang's was a donation store, a place people brought old clothes and belongings so they could sell it for cheaper to people who may not have much. Best of all, they donated some of their profits to AIDS research. Something Emma had always thought so kindly of. Her eyes looked over the glass storefront and she was thankful that Mary Margaret hadn't scoffed.

In retrospect, the store didn't look like a thrift store. Not like Savers anyways which looked more like a superstore. As a kid, it was always scary going into any place where many people crowded and it was easy to lose the only people you needed. So instead, little Emma had gone to Boomerang's with her first real paycheck. And it was a perfect place to enter on a day like today.

The door clanged as the two pushed their way inside. Clothes still lined the brick walls of the store and Emma smiled as she began rifting through the fabric, memories fading in and out of her thoughts.

"There won't be dresses here," Mary Margaret said worriedly, looking quickly over the store, "No long dresses anyways."

"We'll just pick out some things. No point in not trying," Emma smiled, feeling more positive about this store then any other she had been in that day. Mary Margaret must have noticed the change because she backed down, nodding to her friend, and looking through the shirts and skirts for anything white or off-white that could potentially be useful.

"This is cute," Mary Margaret said finally, pulling out a long flowy white tank top from the racks of clothes. The gesture made Emma laugh and she instinctively reached over her friend's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Thank you," Emma whispered but Mary Margaret just nodded, throwing the shirt into Emma's hands and continuing to pull out clothes, forcing herself to try to find something like Emma's style.

Emma, too, picked out some fabrics and jewelry before heading to the dressing rooms in the back to try things on. White pants flattered her figure and even got a hoot out of Mary Margaret when she walked out, but Emma wanted something different from her usual style. Outfit after outfit flew out of the dressing room until Emma slipped on a thick, white, comfy pencil skirt that went a little past her knees and tightened around her hips with lines zigzagging down the sides. Pushing the flowy white tank top into the skirt and tossing on some gold necklaces around her neck helped to complete the outfit and Emma stood proudly in the mirror before opening the door with caution to show Mary Margaret.

"Well...," Emma asked, running her hands over the skirt nervously.

"Well what?" Mary Margaret raised her eyebrows at Emma, looking over the outfit but not giving any indications of her opinion.

"Is this alright?" Emma asked, rolling her eyes a little.

"Hmm. Is there a reason _this _outfit needs my approval?" her friend jested, smiling subtly towards Emma who just groaned.

"Alright alright nevermind I'll try something else."

"Nope. Don't. You look beautiful," Mary Margaret smiled, reaching out and grabbing Emma by both arms so she was forced to look back at her.

"Really?"

"You are absolutely stunning." Emma blushed, pushing her hair behind her ears and looking to the ground.

"Thanks mom," She giggled, giving Mary Margaret a small hug, "So are we done yet?"

"Almost," Mary Margaret said with a wink, nodding for Emma to grab her things, "We have one more thing to do… your hair."

* * *

Killian found his foot twitching nervously even when he stood up from his seat outside of the courtroom. Emma and Mary Margaret were supposed to be meeting him and David here in less then 5 minutes and he found that his heart was pounding much harder in his chest then he had expected. Killian sighed, trying to focus on something other then his ticking watch. _What if she changed her mind? _The thought made Killian's stomach clench. Instinctively, he ran his good hand over the thick scar where flesh and bone had once been. _Why would she want to marry a cripple? _Killian grinded his teeth together. He didn't know why he was thinking like this. Emma had never treated him differently because of his injury. In fact, it was one of the many things that brought them closer together. Still Killian's mind kept wandering, his forehead creasing with worry. "Killian?" Someone asked beside him, a firm hand finding his shoulder. Killian jumped in surprise, caught off guard by the voice. David's worried face loomed over him. "Are you okay?"

Killian tried to answer but nothing came out so he just nodded, giving a fake smile to his friend instead.

"You know you can still back out of this if you want to," David said, obviously trying to figure out the workings behind Killian's twitching foot and sweating forehead but Killian just chuckled at that one, shaking his head. "I have been waiting for this moment since we were kids, mate. I would never leave her side."

"Then why do you think she could?" David winked, patting Killian on the back and smiling a little. Killian sighed, having fallen victim to David's tricks.

"Thanks, Dave," Killian smirked a little, giving his friend a nod. He waited for a minute for David to respond but when he didn't Killian looked up to see David standing open mouthed and facing the front door. Killian felt the color draining from his face as he quickly stood to turn to the door, all hope and reason gone from his thought as Emma walked through the doors. She looked beautiful, in a classy white skirt and top combo with black heels and gold accents. Her hair was curled and half pulled back and her makeup so subtle and beautiful that it honestly took his breath away.

"OH wait! One more thing," Mary Margaret whispered, pulling out a little crown from her bag and placing it gently in Emma's hair, "There. Now you are a princess."

Killian watched Emma smile and give a small hug to her friend before walking straight to Killian's side, smiling widely at him and reaching for his hand. Her smile gave him butterflies and he smiled back, feeling the color returning to his face and his body relaxing under her touch. "You look very handsome," Emma whispered and they both looked down to his all black tux and his white bow tie.

"Thank you, ma'lady but I believe it is you who really takes the cake. You look beautiful darling," Killian smiled to his bride, running his hand gently along a strand of her hair and feeling her blush under his gaze.

He wanted to take a mental image of her in his head and never stop looking at it she looked so beautiful. Killian gave her another small smile and squeezing her hand again. "By the way, I'm sorry we were late. Mary Margaret refused to let me leave until I looked perfect," Emma whispered, rolling her eyes.

"Well then I can thank her for giving me a heart attack," He whispered back.

"Afraid I wouldn't show?"

"Terrified," Killian admitted. Emma gave him a sad kind of look, taking his hand in hers. "I'm not going anywhere Killian."

"Yes I guess I should've known that, huh?" Killian chuckled, scratching at his neck and blushing a little which made Emma laugh back.

"YES," Emma said loudly, her laugh making Killian laugh harder, all fears disappearing between the two of them.

"Well then. I believe we have a date?" Killian inquired, looking curiously at the courtroom.

"I believe we do," She smiled, "Shall we?" Emma asked, reaching for the two of them to walk in together to which Killian happily obliged.

"As you wish," Killian smiled, following Emma through the double doors and holding her hand tightly between his fingers, a small smile refusing to leave his lips as he stared into his future and she smiled back.


End file.
